text ❁ seven years is also how long it takes to complete a ph.d.

[roseblooms]

Kit Fawkes shared a photo. 6/4 near Recollé University

Well, well. I suppose this means I can now officially join the "received a mysterious and vaguely threatening package in the mail with no prior warning" club. I have to admit, though, that in comparison to some of the things I've heard of people receiving? A broken mirror (?) does strike me as a little underwhelming. It's pre-broken, even, which I believe exempts me from any curse of seven years of bad luck. Quite frankly, all these shards of glass have got to be a safety hazard, and yet for some reason every time I go to throw the lot of it away, I end up second-guessing the impulse. Is that odd? I don't know what else I could possibly do with this, mind, and yet even so I...just can't seem to bring myself to dispose of the thing.

Comments

[true_noir]

Be careful. Something as simple as a mirror, or a pocket watch, could be a thing that carries awful memories behind it.

You might see a hallucination of the day it broke, when someone loved died. I think the most innocuous looking ones are the most dangerous. But, I doubt you'll be able to get rid of it. They're like albatrosses around our necks.

[roseblooms]

It sounds as though you're speaking from personal experience.

Both from the trying to get rid of it, and from the business with the memories.

[true_noir]

Perfectly innocent little pocketwatch, right up until the springs worked again and it started playing music. That's when the screaming began.

So, yes, yes I have a bit of experience there. I'll spare you the details. They're not so important as the warning.

[roseblooms]

So it was the music it played that triggered some sort of memory for you?

...I'm sorry. I know this line of questioning might be a bit invasive — it's not my intention to pry or make you uncomfortable. But I'm curious whether the song itself inspired the memory, or if it took the combination of the song and the watch both.

[true_noir]

It was as if the two went hand in hand. The memory came as the music played. It didn't work properly before.

I think it is because the song itself played during the hallucination. Like the page I received, where the text of the poem appeared when I remembered it being read to me. It is more of a combination in a way. And I do not mind. I am just not sure who I should even tell this hallucination. It's more than a little disturbing.

[roseblooms]

I'm willing to listen, if you need someone to talk to about it. Disturbing or not.

What song was it? Was it unique to the watch, or a more popular song?

TW: Mentions of death (to be fair. It's kind of a dark scene)

[true_noir]

[The reply came a little later. She had to stomach hearing the tune again. When she did, she sent a sound file of what sounded distinctively like a music box, tinny and sad sounding.]

The music played from the watch in the memory and here. It belonged to the family that I watched an eight year old girl execute in cold blood, without batting an eyelash.

Were it merely death, that would be one thing. Seeing a child do it,
with the ease of a trained killer was too much, not to mention the fact that it did not sit well with other hallucinations I've had of that girl, much older.

[roseblooms]

That's a terrible burden to have to bear. I'm sorry...

But you say the girl you saw, she's been in your other..."hallucinomemories", as well?

[true_noir]

The person I am in them, the "Other Chloe," is very much in love with her. Obsessed with her. I... am fairly certain that this was the moment she fell in love with her.

And I cannot simply 'unremember' these things. It isn't like a bad movie you forget. It's like remembering a child-hood memory that was formative to who you became, only it was someone else. It sticks in your mind. I can hear the song play in my head sometimes, but it is sad to me.

Like there's another memory associated with it and I dread what that is.

[roseblooms]

...

The "Other Chloe" fell in love with a girl after watching that girl execute a family in cold blood?

Did I understand that correctly?

[true_noir]

Yes, you understood it perfectly. They were the same age, roughly.

There is a lot of killing in these memories. Bad people, mostly, but this death... it didn't feel like bad people this time. There's too little I understand, and understanding only makes it worse every time.

[roseblooms]

And at eight years old...

Was it perhaps the first time? That is to say, whatever circumstances led up to this...incident, after it occurred, the only deaths that followed were ones of..."bad people"?

[true_noir]

I believe it was her first execution, yes, or the first time "Chloe" ever witnessed it. And I cannot say that the people were truly nice, even if they looked like it. The daughter that survived this is as much a killer as the other two girls.

They may not be surreal and full of monsters, but hallucinations like these are still quite disturbing, as I think you can imagine.

[roseblooms]

Frankly, I suspect they're more disturbing BECAUSE they're neither surreal nor full of monsters. Often the most frightening things are the ones that are most real and plausible, because it's not easy to dismiss them.

[true_noir]

It probably depends on the hallucinations, but you may be right. Especially in my case. This is definitely much harder to dismiss, though I refuse to believe it is me.

[roseblooms]

You think it's an illusion of you, then? A false construct?

[true_noir]

That is what I want to believe, but it is also a very detailed one, so it is hard to believe that completely.

[roseblooms]

...I see. Then your reluctance is born of stubbornness, not of doubt. It's a conscious refusal to believe it, regardless of the evidence either way.

[true_noir]

Yes, and I know that this is the case but I refuse until I don't have a choice but to accept.