002 - Octopus's Garden In the Shade

[thebeastwithout]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Today on the hot mess that is Retrospec, somebody's either fallen asleep on their keyboard or allowed their cat to play with the computer for too long, 'cause there's a solid string of this for about a minute straight.]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Garfield Logan added 3 new photos - in Huntington Avenue, Recollé
2 mins

[The first photo is a blurry image of Gar screaming, with only his head and upper chest visible. Something long and twisty is visible at the edge of the frame.

The second is a slightly less blurry image of a... realistic-looking octopus tentacle, for some reason.

The last is an image of Gar's bare chest underneath a ripped shirt, which no one ever really wanted to see, but we're all being traumatized today so just go with it. Everything looks normal up until the part where his shoulder attaches to the octopus tentacle in the previous picture.

It's kinda gross.]

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Comments

[thebeastwithout]

yeah
it pretty much looks like what i had imagined


...it's kinda droopy though

hey octopuses can grow back their limbs right

maybe if i chop it off it will grow back as an arm

[invocate]

What? NO!

No chopping anything off!

Gar, maybe this is a transformation power. A friend of mine can turn his arm into a giant metal claw.

If it is, you can change your arm back to normal.

[thebeastwithout]

i've got pretty sharp scissors though

[gar should probably not be allowed
to have any sharp objects]

that would great i think?? but i definitely don't have any memories of something like that! and like, if wanting something makes it happen, i've definitely been trying!

[invocate]

Retrospec sent me some shoes a couple months ago. They are actually a weapon, armored boots. When I put them on, I could not get take them off at first. I was scared and panicked.

[if Gar cares to look back on the network, he can even find a video of this incident :'D]

I finally got them off after a friend calmed me and I was able to connect to the weapon properly. In my mind.

[she really hopes this is helpful??? and works??? because she doesn't like the idea of Gar just... turning into a green alien monster thing permanently, and she's sure he doesn't either.]

[thebeastwithout]

ok so
lesson one
never put on or use anything retrospec sends to you

lesson two
if i calm down enough i can take off my tentacle?

[this might not be exactly what li-na was trying to say, but gar seems to consider it]

[invocate]

um
yes
sort of?

[close enough]

[thebeastwithout]

i usually calm down by playing video games though
i guess that's not an option anymore

oh my god if this doesn't change back i can't ever play a game again

oh noooooooooooooooo

[invocate]

[that... probably didn't help...]

is there anything else you find relaxing?

i like to listen to music or meditate.

[thebeastwithout]

meditate??

i thought that was for like 80 year old ladies who couldn't move much

[invocate]

everyone can meditate. i learned it for ballet. it calms the mind and helps you focus.

[thebeastwithout]

uh ok

how do you do that

you close your eyes and hum really loud, right?

[invocate]

Haha, no. Here, there is a meditation app I use that helps me.

[insert link to some spiffy app]

Just follow the instructions.

[thebeastwithout]

ok

it says to focus on my breathing

...is it ok if i'm still hyperventilating while i do this or is that like, gonna mess up the meditation

[invocate]

it is okay. the exercise should help you breath normally after a while.

[thebeastwithout]

...ok i'm supposed to clear my mind of 'external distractions' or something

i guess i'll get back to you in a little while

if you don't hear from me again it's cause i went full octopus and i'm living my new life in the sewers

[invocate]

let me know if it helps any

really. if it does not help in ten or fifteen minutes we will figure something else out.

[thebeastwithout]

don't worry
i've got the internet open and i can get a one way ticket to the pacific ocean for only...

Fourteen hundred bucks.

[invocate]

that seems a bit high. a non-stop ticket to san diego does not cost that much. unless you want to go to hawaii. then it might cost 1400 for nonstop.

[thebeastwithout]

oh

can you google good flights for me while i do this meditation thing

i guess i'm not very good at finding deals

[invocate]

only so we can go take a vacation when this is all over

[you're going to be fine Gar. somehow.]

[thebeastwithout]

i think we're still trapped in a giant dome, but i appreciate the thought

[ok
gar is going to actually stay silent now
for reals
how do you meditate
breathe
he's breathing a lot
he's good at breathing
just follow the app...?]

[invocate]

true. the dome is still there.

[and now she'll just wait. see if the meditation helps any. any maybe hoping the dome stays in place... at least a little while longer...]

I apologize for this weird tag in advance!

[thebeastwithout]

[he isn't sure what breathing will accomplish
it's not like
he doesn't do this approximately 900000000 times a day
still
it's not like he has anything better to do right now, either
the app instructs him to breathe in a rhythm and to focus his thoughts on the counting of the breath

1
2
3

he wonders what will happen if he walks downstairs right now
mom will probably faint
that would be kinda funny but also kinda terrible
dad would tell him to quit fooling around
is this really something he's going to have to deal with forever
people say he should be able to remember being an octopus
whatever his memories are, they don't involve being an octopus
crap he stopped counting uh

89
90
91
92

do they?

95
96
97

what does he have right now
singing karaoke
that city, with those other kids... all of them looked... odd
cyborg - that person's name was cyborg
the others were... the boy with the mask, the sullen girl in the purple, and the extremely tan girl wearing... probably not enough
and...

214
215
216
217

his parents
they were biologists
studying... monkeys
something like that
they had died in a flood
but this was his memory from here
...wasn't it?
on the boat, in the river
when it had capsized...........
he had been thrown to shore --
no
into the water
he could remember... the water

321
322
323

the water..... he was in the water...
there was something about the water...]

Aw geez.

[Why was he even thinking about this...?
He reaches over and types a quick message with one hand]

meditation is making me think weird things

[invocate]

i am sorry? what kind of weird things?

[thebeastwithout]

oh
nothing
it's fine
just like
old memories of things i haven't thought about in a while