i

[androidheart]

It stings and bites
worse yet, week to week
where my Ghostly fingertips
long again for your sallow cheek

I couldn't if I dared
and I wouldn't, as I've tried
to look beyond something like "You and I"
where I could sing,
with a Broken guitar string
and a heart to match
a girl that Lied
and never looked back

I want to quit,
and yet I can't
I want to sit,
and yet I shan't
bereft of former heart and soul
take what Remains and make me Whole
held against your chest
there is nothing else Left

Comments

[androidheart]

Creative line level decisions in order to serve the greater meaning of the piece.

[eyestitch]

they don't seem very consistent?

like i'm all 4 doing whatever i want when i want, but this doesn't seem like something where you can do w/e you want? isn't that just sloppy?

[androidheart]

There's no "correct" way to create poetry.

They were very deliberate choices.

Sorry that you don't like it.

[eyestitch]

well, why did you choose what you did?

may-b i just don't get it and you should explain it to me!

[androidheart]

Consider that the entire poem is a person, and the lines make up that person. The capitalized words are like the organs. They pump blood through the piece, air, and make it run the way it should. They are the emotional core of the being, and the rest of the words are the skeleton that surrounds those emotional cores, protects them, supports them.