retrospec | (no subject)

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hey so quick question how do I explain why I bleed ink to my boyfriend -yes he's already seen it -I was cutting up vegetables and scratched a finger -it'd be great if someone could give advice relatively soon because I don't know how long 'I need to lie down and then I'll talk to you about it' will work, he's still panicking he's just not demanding an answer right this second thanks for the help

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He's already freaking out. I've heard him pick up and put down a magazine fifteen times in the time we've been talking. I can't imagine that 'hey so I'm a dead person actually' would help.

Maybe, yeah... I just wish all this super stuff were out in the open. It seemed like it sort of was back in other-me's life.

That sounds nice. It wouldn't be as scary if I knew I could be honest.

But on the other hand, people are already getting picked on in school now because they started standing out. I don't want to just let that happen, either. Or let you run into troubles with the people you care about.

Concept: what if we didn't get stuff like ink blood and horns and tentacles in the first place?

Just being normal again might be a lost cause. Sorry.

That's what I figured. It's a nice thought, though.

Sorry. It's pretty scary out there. I don't blame you at all.

I shouldn't be complaining, because normally you can't even see how weird I am. Other people have it a lot worse. I'm just... really tired.

Yeah... Sorry. I wish I could do anything about it. I wish anyone could.

It's alright. It's not your job to fix everyone else's problems.

It kind of is. I mean, that's what superheroes are for, right?

You're not a superhero, Kara.

[She's someone who used to be a superhero in a past life. It's different.]

But I should be! Shouldn't I?

No. You don't have to be what your past self was. You aren't what your past self was: we're different now. Not completely different, but different enough. You're not a superhero now just because your past self used to be, any more than I'm a middle schooler now because I used to be.

But I can't just be normal anymore. Now, if I trip down the stairs, I'm going to leave a crater where I landed. I want to at least do something good with it. And trying to be a hero is always a good thing, right?

Not always. If you want to do something good with it, that's your decision. I'm not going to stop you. You're a person with superpowers, but you don't have to be a superhero.

I guess... maybe. That girl in my memories said something like it, too. That I should just quit.

I'll think about it.

There's a difference between quitting and not having started in the first place.

So you're thinking I can't do it, or...

I'm thinking I'm not okay with people being forced to be the same as their past selves, because some of us have past selves we don't want to emulate in any way. If there wasn't any point in trying to be someone other than the garbage fire that was past me, I think I'd have a mental breakdown. It's fine if you want to help people with the powers you have, I'm not saying you can't. I'm saying that it's a choice.

So you just don't like people trying to be their past selves, or just assuming that they should. Uh. Sorry. I didn't mean to make things worse for you.

It's alright. Just, I cannot overstate how much I do not want to be past me. I know some people want to be more like their past selves and that's fine, go for it, but if it was an automatic thing then that would mean I was doomed to become the scum of the earth and I'm not okay with that.

He was really that bad?

Awful. Not even in the super villain kind of way, because at least that would be so divorced from my own experience that I wouldn't worry so much about turning into him? But the 'asshole who cheats on his wife and sucks up to people he hates' kind of way that normal (terrible) people are sometimes.