[maybe it's bigger in her head. maybe it's bigger because she lived it, but she knows if she sat on this then she wouldn't ever say anything to Rose about it. her head turns to face her while she talks.]
When I was down there, something stole your voice and started trying to talk to me. I don't know what it was, because I never looked. [seemed like the kind of thing where she'd get her face stolen or something if she had.] But it was definitely some kind of illusion, which means Vanderweele knew I was down there and he knew he could use you to get to me.
[but that's not what she wants to bring up. she turns her head, setting that dead-eyed stare to the TV. someone's rising in the frame, but she doesn't care.]
The door to the lab that all this stuff was inside was locked, and I needed to give something up to get inside. One of the last things not-you said to me was that you'd kill anyone to get what you need, and what I needed was to show Vanderweele I wasn't fucking scared of him. [usually a bold statement, but right now it sounds as lifeless as anything else.] I was lucky enough to get back what I sacrificed, but I had no idea if I would. And I figured since everything we do is based on memories lately, it was pretty obvious what I had to give up.
no subject
[maybe it's bigger in her head. maybe it's bigger because she lived it, but she knows if she sat on this then she wouldn't ever say anything to Rose about it. her head turns to face her while she talks.]
When I was down there, something stole your voice and started trying to talk to me. I don't know what it was, because I never looked. [seemed like the kind of thing where she'd get her face stolen or something if she had.] But it was definitely some kind of illusion, which means Vanderweele knew I was down there and he knew he could use you to get to me.
[but that's not what she wants to bring up. she turns her head, setting that dead-eyed stare to the TV. someone's rising in the frame, but she doesn't care.]
The door to the lab that all this stuff was inside was locked, and I needed to give something up to get inside. One of the last things not-you said to me was that you'd kill anyone to get what you need, and what I needed was to show Vanderweele I wasn't fucking scared of him. [usually a bold statement, but right now it sounds as lifeless as anything else.] I was lucky enough to get back what I sacrificed, but I had no idea if I would. And I figured since everything we do is based on memories lately, it was pretty obvious what I had to give up.
[and she looks back over at Rose.]