I maintain that you don't deserve suffering. I want to get that re-established now, before this turns into an argument and that gets thrown back into my face; regardless of what you have or haven't done, I don't believe that you deserve misery.
It just strikes me strangely. That someone who prides himself on being opportunistic, as you seem to, and likewise on refusing to accept handouts from anyone and anything and can't fathom why anyone else would... It seems odd to me that someone like that would be content with the notion that he shouldn't attempt to seek those opportunities for himself, but rather content himself with allowing fate to hand them to him.
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It just strikes me strangely. That someone who prides himself on being opportunistic, as you seem to, and likewise on refusing to accept handouts from anyone and anything and can't fathom why anyone else would... It seems odd to me that someone like that would be content with the notion that he shouldn't attempt to seek those opportunities for himself, but rather content himself with allowing fate to hand them to him.
It's a surprisingly passive mindset.