loading...

[recollecters]

Greetings, Users. Our system may be experiencing some residual glitches from a recent network malfunction. Our technical team is working on getting these issues under control. Please direct any concerns in the meantime to the HR department at humanresources@retrospec.com. Our staff has furthermore noticed a significant increase in tags and trends for #aprilfools and #pranks. Keep on your toes and be certain to tag your best tricks for Retrospec™! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Any emails sent to the HR department will be returned with a failure to send notification, and will furthermore automatically be posted to the Retrospec network. Oops? Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures. Glitches will be in effect until the 15th and may include: -Usernames changing to a cat, dog, or bird pun. -The Retrospec application being changed into a neon color + animal theme of some variety. -Notifications going off at random and being unable to be turned off. -Various "special effects" crossing the screens when people comment. -Users having to beat a level of pac-man to access the application, and then being made to beat a new level every hour to keep using the application. -Thomas the Tank Engine memes being sent to users every hour for some reason. -Profile pictures being replaced by pictures of rabbits and easter eggs. -New creepy pasta stories appearing upon log-in, to be forwarded to someone before the app can continue to be used -Parental lock and auto-correct on cursing (i.e. fuck -> duck) -A parade of pixel Chocobos or dancing fruit scrolling across the screen after each comment posted

Comments

[appraiser]

mm, status update? keeping the user base current may be their way of showing courtesy
you know how bugs are: you fix one, create a dozen more
they're trying

[godcards]

They are not trying hard enough. This is unacceptable. They could do countless other things instead of constantly re-break their app.

[appraiser]

they're doing what they can. and i'm sure they're working on many few features to make up for it!
look, the little dancing fruit are kind of cute
i think the apples have faces

[godcards]

The fruit are irrelevant to the app. Did you not see the response to them... most people were unhappy. Not that I care about that in the long run... the fruit is still edible.

If nothing else, they could very well take the app down and test it before re-releasing it. But no, that is far too logical for these idiots. Hence this non-update and accompanying eye straining color schemes.

[appraiser]

the announcement of the fruit was fundamentally happy— it came with a proposal. they couldn't have predicted a negative reaction from the user base
i mean
if people are unhappy with the app, they can stop using it any time
neon colors and pac-man locks tend to turn people away naturally
but the dancing apples are cute? that's a huge draw

[godcards]

It was a terrible proposal. Although I think it says more about Janet than it does the other guy, if he thinks that's a suitable way to ask for marriage... But I wonder, maybe she rejected him and this is our punishment.

I do not think the dancing apples are cute. Cute is subjective.

[appraiser]

i hope she didn't reject him! i thought that video was pretty fun. though fun is subjective too...

so
what things do you think are cute?

[godcards]

It was hardly romantic or indicated such intentions... It was mostly stupid. Then again, I wasn't the one being proposed to.


Excuse me? Do you really expect me to answer this...?

[appraiser]

silly more than stupid, i think. and that can be endearing

yes

[godcards]

We have to agree to disagree. I can't see myself being on the same page as you here...

I don't think anything is cute.

[appraiser]

nothing at all?
cats? a childhood toy? those small one-serving boxes of cereal?

[godcards]

No. There's nothing.

[appraiser]

? ?? ???

nothing?

[godcards]

No.

Why is it so important? I'm aware there's plenty of people that coo over small animals, I'm just not one of them.

[appraiser]

i'm just curious
animals are very easy to love
but for somebody to not think they're cute, what eventually captures their affections must be wonderful
so i want to know the sorts of things that you love

[godcards]

Nothing.

[appraiser]

:(
okay
we'll start off easy
what are some things you don't hate

[godcards]

I'm curious what you gain from asking me such invasive questions. My opinions on most things are neutral until they become an annoyance or inconvenience, then I remove myself from the situation or remove whatever it is that's bothering me.

[appraiser]

what do i gain? knowing more about you, i guess. and the easiest way is to ask questions. you can ask me anything you want too!
walking away from dislikes is a healthy attitude
but there are likes too, that you can embrace

[godcards]

I'm not in the habit of getting intimate with strangers. Much less taking life advice from them. Furthermore... I don't even know who you are, or why you'd be so interested in me.

[ animal-pun usernames aside. ]

[appraiser]

my name's Ryoji Mochizuki! 19 years old, born in Recollé and moved back here in the past year. i work at the Trevelyan Clinic over at Chata
it's nice to meet you
tell me a little about yourself?

[godcards]

My name is Malik.
That's the extent of relevant information I'll give you.

[appraiser]

i was hoping Meowlik were your real name, because it's cute lol
but i like the name Malik!
it's a middle eastern name, right? uncommon enough that i could find out more about you just by asking around

[godcards]

Do not call it cute. It may not be my real name, but I don't like that.

Why... would you do that

[appraiser]

lol alright, i'm sorry

to learn more about you, of course
how your friends perceive you, that sort of thing