sorey not sorey | ɢʀᴀɴᴅ sʜᴇᴘʜᴇʀᴅ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
openhanded) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
retrospec2017-07-16 11:27 pm
openhanded) wrote in retrospec2017-07-16 11:27 pm
dear abby...
Surei Doushi
7/17 near Apprassagehey everyone! it's been a little while, so I have two things for you all.
the first is that I've written up everything we saw on the ghost trip I organized late last month. if you'd like to hear the details, let me know and I'll send over the document.
the second is that I'm starting an advice column! I need things to write advice about, so feel free to comment with things you'd like help with. I promise I'll try my best to make it good advice.
I'm definitely returning as a teacher next year and I need the experience!
...... and the bingo square.
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I am a 34 year old straight woman in an open marriage with a 39 year straight man. I have taken far more advantage of the openness of our marriage than my husband, at least until recently. I have had a string of long-term affairs and short-term flings. During the past 8 months I have basically been living with another man in a neighbouring town to the one I live in. I am drawn to men who are starkly different than my husband, who is an intellectual, moderate in terms of his vices and has a disdain for the type of men who spend every evening in a pub.
I have a drinking problem but it is not a problem I feel any need to resolve and I am drawn to men who are also drinkers like me. I can have a glass of wine in the morning and drink until I pass out in the afternoon and wake up when my lover comes home and go to the pub with him and start drinking again. My husband can’t tolerate that behaviour which is why I moved in with my current lover.
This past Sunday my lover and I went to a country pub and I glanced in the dining room and saw my husband with a beautiful older woman, but not just any woman. It was my mother and, from the way they looked at each other and were touching, I could tell instantly that it was more than a friendly lunch; they were quite obviously in love with each other. My mother is 54 years old and is breathtakingly beautiful and, unlike me, hasn’t let her body go. My husband, who is also handsome and fit, looked like he was happier than I had ever seen him. I went to the toilet and threw up and then I dragged my lover out of the pub and went straight to the off-licence where I bought a litre bottle of vodka and drank it at his house until I passed out.
I can’t help but feeling betrayed by my mother and my husband. There has always been something lurking beneath the surface with them and since I haven’t been living with my husband for a long time, I guess she made her move and he couldn’t resist or maybe it was the other way around. Knowing I can’t go back to my life as it once was makes me miss it so much. My mother is the one having long talks with my husband at night, or going to a nice restaurant with him or the theatre and I am at a grubby pub every night with my alcoholic lover.
I have started stalking them, sitting in the car down the street from our house, drinking vodka from the bottle, and watching them come out hand in hand to play tennis in the courts down the street or go out to dinner. I have sneaked in the house and gone up to what used to be our bedroom and found my mother has moved all her clothes into the wardrobe and taken what I had left out and I have even seen a tube of lube on the bedside table (my mother is post menopausal). Seeing that made me hate her more than you can believe. My husband would be disgusted with the way I have let myself go and would probably refuse to have sex with me but he’s happily screwing my mother now and enjoying her perfect body.
I haven’t confronted either of them yet. I would love to put an end to their happy little relationship. It is sick that my mother stole her daughter’s husband and I despise her for that. I can forgive my husband but I could never forgive her and I can’t tolerate the fact that they are together.
What should I do?
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What book is this from??
I kinda want to read the rest
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I read the reddit post, that was fucking wild
first of all: see a therapist or counselor. they'll help you with an action plan. your health is the most important thing right now-- more important than the guy you're with, the guy you're not with, and whatever's going on in your old house.
the next thing you'll want is an attorney. I really, really doubt that you and your husband could go back to the way things were after that line was crossed... so, you'll want to file for separation.
it's time to start over. get away from the things in your life that are dragging you down. when you rebuild yourself, you can stand on your own and you'll be so much happier for it.
bonkers man!!!
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I... think.
[part of him isn't sure what just happened, tbh]
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