retrospec | (no subject)

(no subject)

[he can't believe it's easier to confess things to the internet than talking about them irl but. well. thanks fucking speech bubbles.]

know most of us are in that not my memories not me state so this'll probably be an unpopular question.

i need to get back more memories. seem to only get them while dying but i promised not to do that anymore. no drugs either.

[although given his memories, they'd probably help]

i've got five people i need to know more about. and a freakish reindeer. might be a raccoon. whatever. don't give me shit.

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[tmw when your husband exits the room to make a post about reindeers

baren stares at the post for a bit before entertaining it for now - ]

damn right you promised not to do that anymore

think if you do even more stunts it'll be the same thing?
should we go to the zoo

[and here he was hoping baren wouldn't look at the network today]

honestly? yeah maybe. aquarium too.
can't believe you've got the most helpful idea.

[he's not up for socializing aside from select people, but it requires very little effort to scroll through the network]

how dare you question my genius

[at least he's feeling a bit better if he's got the energy for banter?]

or you wanna hang out with tanuki??
i can leave him with you if you think having a weird furry animal companion would be good for you

pretty sure he'd miss you.
you think the zoo would do you any good?

he can deal with it
just leave out water and leave a window open for when he wants to leave

[youkai are blessedly low maintenance.... actually at that, baren gently nudges tanuki with his foot and inclines his head to whichever room zoro went to.

there is now a tanuki moving to approach zoro. you're welcome, buddy.]

why the fuck does it matter if it'd do me any good
if you wanna go let's just go

because you're the one who's been moping.
i'm not dragging you anywhere you don't want to go. i can go on my own.

[ . . . . yeah he's not going to bother just sitting around for that one. he gets up from wherever he was - the kitchen??? - and wanders over to wherever zoro is

and throws a dish towel at him]

Hey.

Fuck you.

[It hits him in the back of the head.]

The hell was that for?

Being stupid, as per usual. Also I'm not moping, jackass.

[you're kinda moping, baren.]

C'mon. If you wanna go, I wanna go.

[partially out of loneliness and wanting to stick by zoro -

but more because if there's anything zoro wants, baren wants to help him get it]

[Zoro's mouth twists. For a moment his hands ball into fists and he glances away, gritting his teeth. He shouldn't be concerned. Should have kept my mouth shut. Could've figured it out on my own. Weak.]

... Fine. We'll go.

Edited 2017-09-10 18:10 (UTC)

[Fucking speech bubbles -

Baren is too late to close his eyes before he sees it, makes a noise of irritation at himself more than anything else. One hand comes up to press against his forehead as he grumbles - ]

Fucking—

Z, m'gonna need you to walk me down to the garage if we're going. Your stupid thoughts are showing.

[And it doesn't feel right - until Zoro says it's okay, it doesn't feel right to get a chance to see them.

Of course that's when Baren's own bubble feels like showing up.

Moron. Rely on me, stupid. Why would you agree to be with me if you don't get anything out of it?]

[Fuck. Zoro doesn't get any less annoyed. Just more embarrassed, if anything. He hates this.]

Already figured, idiot.

[And then Baren's pops up. Even with how quickly Zoro looks away, he can still read it. His response is automatic. I've already gotten enough.

Yeah, fuck this.

Zoro snatches his keys and heads towards the door.]

Come on.

[ . . . . hmph.

Baren hazards a look - and regrets it. A lot. Ugh, he hates being able to read??? Literacy sucks.

And then he's just going to shake his head and if Zoro's not going to volunteer to lead Baren around so he doesn't fucking slam his knee into everything.

He's just gonna.

Jump onto Zoro's back to be carried.]

Put that muscle to work, idiot.

[As he otherwise apparently intends to take a nap as he rests his head against Zoro's shoulder and closes his eyes again.

Hopefully his stupid crush is over but whatever, better this than invading his privacy.]

[Thankfully, that bubble goes unseen. The piggyback plan works. Zoro carries him easily out of the apartment and down the stairs, remaining pretty silent in both thoughts and speech.

He only sets him down once they get down to the valet. Then it's a short wait while the car pulls up. One of the few perks of living in a swankier place. Zoro opens the passenger door for Baren before sliding into the driver's seat.]

I can't believe this'll probably work.

Yeah, your memories sound pretty dumb. Like some kind of high seas sitcom?

[Thanks Baren. But also given that the last thing he remembers Zoro having a memory about is an octopus chef....

He rests his head against the side of the car as he keeps his eyes closed. Forever naptime.]

You got names for any of your six? Nami's one, right?

[Kana and Kuina... the names are similar enough - like Kumou and Kaiyou - that Baren's at least managed to figure out that they're probably the parallels. Maybe she was on the crew too? But he won't offer up her name until Zoro does.]

[Zoro snorts. He's not going to argue. Half the shit he remembers is stupid.]

Sogeking. Sniper King. King of Snipers. Something like that. [He remembers feeling annoyance but also respect, care, solidarity, pride. They had all gone past their problems and united under the captain to–

For a moment, Zoro looks pained.]

A woman. Robin. She was crying.

[I wanted to destroy everyone who had caused it.

He changes lanes around a slower car, passes through a yellow light, takes a sharp turn. Prolongs the silence before the final name.]

And Luffy. The one I vowed myself to. [Why?] My captain.

[ . . . hm. Baren's quiet, trying to consider the names.]

... tried looking them up? Slim chances but you'd be surprised what shit you can find.

[Swordsmiths with names similar to people who ended up being swords. Real life ninjas.]

I won't look unless you tell me to. So you should tell me to.

[An opinion, because he's been tempted at times - but refrains just because he doesn't want to feel like he's going behind Zoro's back.

Regardless:]

Whenever this Luffy guy shows up, I wanna meet him.

[Forward-thinking, maybe. Optimistic, maybe. But.... he does.]

He won't.

[It's softer than he usually speaks.

"It's just that I guess sometimes people get along less well when they don't remember the reasons they cared; if you don't remember someone is important to you."

Zoro knuckles go white around the wheel.]

I didn't get anything when I looked. You can try if you want. I've got nothing more than first names.

I'll look.

[The permission he was waiting for.

But it's almost like he didn't hear the first part - up until he adds on, half a beat later.]

He will. He's probably fucking around somewhere in a different country right now, completely oblivious, but... he will.

[It's his own certainty there, evenly in the face of Zoro's softness. As for why - ]

Some people are just meant to be together.

[And he wants that to be the case for Zoro and his crew.]

[The car slides to a stop as they meet a red light. Zoro looks at Baren for the first time since they got in the car.]

That why you're here with me?

[Green light. He shifts into gear.]

Almost there.

[Not what I meant. That sounds more like a curse.]

Interim captain, that's me.

[Breezy and light, even as he keeps his eyes closed and doesn't look over at Zoro.

Except.

He's been given permission to look for Zoro's people and even now, Zoro's opening up to him bit by bit. Baren can acknowledge that, given how cagey his other brief responses looked from a glance. That means something.

And even if he thinks them being together is a terrible thing for Zoro, he also can't help but muse - ]

... I see a green-haired samurai sometimes.

[And maybe that means something.]

Yeah? You sure it's not me?

[Did he tell Baren he has green hair in his memories? Zoro can't remember. Either way it's a joke. A better comment than acknowledging he caught a glimpse of that thought.

But, more seriously:]

He as nasty to you as everyone else?

.... he forced his way into our home like a freeloader. [Stuck around like a bad cold.] I complained about him a lot. He shows up in the background in a lot of things... fighting... setting off explosions...

["I"m merely worried about you!"

"Nothing will start if one does not say it."]

... he was good to us.

[It's probably best if I never find him.]

Definitely not me, then. You're the freeloader.

[More glimpses at thoughts he's known but never should see. Even if it means he has to bite his tongue until it bleeds.

Stop insisting you're worse than you are.]

I did all the paperwork for your apartment, you illiterate ingrate. I should've charged you a processing fee.

[Baren keeps his eyes closed - doesn't look at Zoro's thoughts because he doesn't have to.

Though even then, he can't help but crack a brief smile at the taunt even as he rises up to it. Gentle amusement. Somehow it's still easy next to Zoro.]