retrospec | (no subject)

(no subject)

[he can't believe it's easier to confess things to the internet than talking about them irl but. well. thanks fucking speech bubbles.]

know most of us are in that not my memories not me state so this'll probably be an unpopular question.

i need to get back more memories. seem to only get them while dying but i promised not to do that anymore. no drugs either.

[although given his memories, they'd probably help]

i've got five people i need to know more about. and a freakish reindeer. might be a raccoon. whatever. don't give me shit.

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how many times have you come close to dying?

don't know. pretty sure it was more than i remember. a lot of them i was already pretty beat up.

... that doesn't surprise me at all. i've seen how you work.

[he's a hypocrite ok]

i think i fought a lot more crazier things.

yeah. did i tell you a remembered this crazy darkness spirit thanks to our fight? that thing was as tall as a building.

how'd you fight it?

i didn't. it blasted out some darkness, and we passed out. that's all i remember.

so... not that impressive.

least you didn't die.

i don't think i did.

so, why the sudden interest in more memories? is this because of the announcement...?

it's not sudden.

but yeah. the announcement didn't help.

okay, not sudden. are you taking everything that was said at face value? about the whole destroyed worlds thing?

got a reason why i shouldn't?

or are you gonna tell me that life doesn't matter?

[even through text it's pretty clear mako shouldn't go down that path.]

why would i tell you life doesn't matter? is that the kind of person you think i am?

lot of people want to reject that other life.

figured you were one of them. am i wrong?

i don't know. i would've preferred it, but got another memory basically confirming my life sucked there as much as it does here in some ways.

but i don't know what to make of having a second life. i was just curious about why you were trying to get more memories from it.

Edited 2017-09-10 23:05 (UTC)

[takes him like 10 minutes to send this response]

they feel important.

more important than most people are to me.

[... yeah. he... sort of relates to that, honestly. but at the same time.... that life still doesn't feel real to him, and this one does.]

alright... guess you should find people who remind your of them, or get into situations that are close enough, like doing that fight club i saw advertised.

might at a later point yeah.

also thought about finding an empty warehouse. testing a few things out.

the superstrength thing makes me nervous. run the risk of hurting other people.

what are you wanting to test out?

don't know. the limits of my strength? swordsmanship? i

something's gotta work.

if these people are that important to you, do you really think the only time you ever connected was when the danger was high, or when you were testing your limits?

no. it's

it's just the only place i know where to start.

what happens when that doesn't work?

i don't know.

maybe you should think up a backup plan. i know you're basically immortal, but eventually you're going to run out of fights to remember.

[he doesn't know one piece canon, this seems true in his head.]

a lot of my memories have been triggered just by talking to people. you're the only one i've gotten memories from fighting with.