James "dumpster fire gijinka" Barnes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frostythehitman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
retrospec2017-04-09 01:52 pm
frostythehitman) wrote in retrospec2017-04-09 01:52 pm
Entry tags:
[text] backdated to evening of april 5th
So, Yuri and I just went to check out the Retrospec building for ourselves. Spoilers, we found jack. But if you want to know exactly what flavor of jack, here's all the details:
First off, the whole place was wide open. Like, the front doors were totally open and there were no security guards or anything. We just walked right in like no one cared or was even in the building. Which is weird, given that it was like 4pm on a Wednesday.
[ Here's a photo of the lobby. To the side, one can make out the edge of the receptionist's desk, and shoved off to the side, a TV and some potted plants. To the other side, a small row of chairs. In the center of the photo, though, is an elevator. ]
Apparently this elevator was missing last month, but it's back now. It doesn't work--if you press the button, it just starts playing the opening lines to some guy's standup comedy show or something from the loudspeakers.
[ This time, a photo of a hallway! To those who have visited Retrospec before themselves, the hallway will look familiar, although...is it longer now? Are there more doors than before there? ]
We found a bunch of doors down this way but all of them were locked, go figure. They were also rigged with joybuzzers or something, so you got shocked every time you put your hand on the doorknob.
[ And lastly, a dedicated photo of the receptionist's desk! It's tidy, almost spotless, with nothing on the desk save for a single pink sticky note with 'Jim + Janet' written on it stuck to the table surface, and a small assortment of desk toys. There's a phone, positioned at an awkward angle on the desk. ]
Nothing useful here either. The desk is completely empty and all the drawers are locked except for the top one. And even then, there's nothing in there but some Retrospec-branded stationery. The phone's not even plugged into anything, but it rang once and when we picked up, it was some voice asking us over and over for a knock knock joke.
I didn't get photos of these, but the chairs were all rigged with whoopie cushions and the TV just plays that dumb dancing fruit Bohemian Rhapsody thing on loop.
So like I said: we found a complete load of nothing. The only April fools around here was us. The whole trip was so useless, it's almost like they were expecting us to show up.
So there you go. So much for getting any more details out of these jerks.
First off, the whole place was wide open. Like, the front doors were totally open and there were no security guards or anything. We just walked right in like no one cared or was even in the building. Which is weird, given that it was like 4pm on a Wednesday.
[ Here's a photo of the lobby. To the side, one can make out the edge of the receptionist's desk, and shoved off to the side, a TV and some potted plants. To the other side, a small row of chairs. In the center of the photo, though, is an elevator. ]
Apparently this elevator was missing last month, but it's back now. It doesn't work--if you press the button, it just starts playing the opening lines to some guy's standup comedy show or something from the loudspeakers.
[ This time, a photo of a hallway! To those who have visited Retrospec before themselves, the hallway will look familiar, although...is it longer now? Are there more doors than before there? ]
We found a bunch of doors down this way but all of them were locked, go figure. They were also rigged with joybuzzers or something, so you got shocked every time you put your hand on the doorknob.
[ And lastly, a dedicated photo of the receptionist's desk! It's tidy, almost spotless, with nothing on the desk save for a single pink sticky note with 'Jim + Janet' written on it stuck to the table surface, and a small assortment of desk toys. There's a phone, positioned at an awkward angle on the desk. ]
Nothing useful here either. The desk is completely empty and all the drawers are locked except for the top one. And even then, there's nothing in there but some Retrospec-branded stationery. The phone's not even plugged into anything, but it rang once and when we picked up, it was some voice asking us over and over for a knock knock joke.
I didn't get photos of these, but the chairs were all rigged with whoopie cushions and the TV just plays that dumb dancing fruit Bohemian Rhapsody thing on loop.
So like I said: we found a complete load of nothing. The only April fools around here was us. The whole trip was so useless, it's almost like they were expecting us to show up.
So there you go. So much for getting any more details out of these jerks.
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Re: March 5th. This is ridiculous. These had vanished again?
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But from what I keep hearing, whatever was on that wall last month is gone now and the elevator is "back." Not like it matters anyway, it won't open.
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A building can't keep rearranging its insides without someone going in. Thank you for this. Seriously. This might be the thing I need to get a few other people moving on this building.
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[ He didn't think this was going to be of any help to anyone. And honestly, now that he's in this conversation, he feels kind of dumb for publicly saying "hey, I broke into this building and here's what I found" where a cop could see it.
But uh. All's well that ends well? ]
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Just a suggestion to our wonderful hosts.
So don't worry about it. I'd still warn you to be careful, because the last time I went, it wasn't as safe.
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Last time I went, when I took those pictures, I couldn't stay in there for too long. It's like, the longer I was in there? The stronger I got a compulsion to leave. It was entirely a mental effect. And it wouldn't go away until I left the building again.
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So it wasn't actually unsafe, but they made it feel like it was?
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And of course there's no laws about it so you guys can't even bust them for it. They're just taking advantage of laws that don't exist yet to mess with us all they want.
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Do you think you're going to go back there?
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I'll probably go back sometime, but only if I'm gonna get any real answers out of them. None of this joybuzzer door knock knock joke phone crap.
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Someone had to have been watching that from a security room somewhere with their finger hovering over the "lock/unlock" switch.
Next time I go in, I'm bringing rope and tying a lifeline around my waist and some tree outside the building.
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I suppose I'll have to take my own advice and warn people if...no, when I go back. Because I know I'm going to.
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There's another piece of information I need before I go back, so I won't go for at least a week. If I can't keep you from going, I'll go with you, deal?
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Trying to verify that the packages that people are being sent are really coming from that building. I don't know if it'll turn up anything, but I at least want to get a result on this one thing before I move forwards.
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