James "dumpster fire gijinka" Barnes (
frostythehitman) wrote in
retrospec2017-04-09 01:52 pm
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[text] backdated to evening of april 5th
So, Yuri and I just went to check out the Retrospec building for ourselves. Spoilers, we found jack. But if you want to know exactly what flavor of jack, here's all the details:
First off, the whole place was wide open. Like, the front doors were totally open and there were no security guards or anything. We just walked right in like no one cared or was even in the building. Which is weird, given that it was like 4pm on a Wednesday.
[ Here's a photo of the lobby. To the side, one can make out the edge of the receptionist's desk, and shoved off to the side, a TV and some potted plants. To the other side, a small row of chairs. In the center of the photo, though, is an elevator. ]
Apparently this elevator was missing last month, but it's back now. It doesn't work--if you press the button, it just starts playing the opening lines to some guy's standup comedy show or something from the loudspeakers.
[ This time, a photo of a hallway! To those who have visited Retrospec before themselves, the hallway will look familiar, although...is it longer now? Are there more doors than before there? ]
We found a bunch of doors down this way but all of them were locked, go figure. They were also rigged with joybuzzers or something, so you got shocked every time you put your hand on the doorknob.
[ And lastly, a dedicated photo of the receptionist's desk! It's tidy, almost spotless, with nothing on the desk save for a single pink sticky note with 'Jim + Janet' written on it stuck to the table surface, and a small assortment of desk toys. There's a phone, positioned at an awkward angle on the desk. ]
Nothing useful here either. The desk is completely empty and all the drawers are locked except for the top one. And even then, there's nothing in there but some Retrospec-branded stationery. The phone's not even plugged into anything, but it rang once and when we picked up, it was some voice asking us over and over for a knock knock joke.
I didn't get photos of these, but the chairs were all rigged with whoopie cushions and the TV just plays that dumb dancing fruit Bohemian Rhapsody thing on loop.
So like I said: we found a complete load of nothing. The only April fools around here was us. The whole trip was so useless, it's almost like they were expecting us to show up.
So there you go. So much for getting any more details out of these jerks.
First off, the whole place was wide open. Like, the front doors were totally open and there were no security guards or anything. We just walked right in like no one cared or was even in the building. Which is weird, given that it was like 4pm on a Wednesday.
[ Here's a photo of the lobby. To the side, one can make out the edge of the receptionist's desk, and shoved off to the side, a TV and some potted plants. To the other side, a small row of chairs. In the center of the photo, though, is an elevator. ]
Apparently this elevator was missing last month, but it's back now. It doesn't work--if you press the button, it just starts playing the opening lines to some guy's standup comedy show or something from the loudspeakers.
[ This time, a photo of a hallway! To those who have visited Retrospec before themselves, the hallway will look familiar, although...is it longer now? Are there more doors than before there? ]
We found a bunch of doors down this way but all of them were locked, go figure. They were also rigged with joybuzzers or something, so you got shocked every time you put your hand on the doorknob.
[ And lastly, a dedicated photo of the receptionist's desk! It's tidy, almost spotless, with nothing on the desk save for a single pink sticky note with 'Jim + Janet' written on it stuck to the table surface, and a small assortment of desk toys. There's a phone, positioned at an awkward angle on the desk. ]
Nothing useful here either. The desk is completely empty and all the drawers are locked except for the top one. And even then, there's nothing in there but some Retrospec-branded stationery. The phone's not even plugged into anything, but it rang once and when we picked up, it was some voice asking us over and over for a knock knock joke.
I didn't get photos of these, but the chairs were all rigged with whoopie cushions and the TV just plays that dumb dancing fruit Bohemian Rhapsody thing on loop.
So like I said: we found a complete load of nothing. The only April fools around here was us. The whole trip was so useless, it's almost like they were expecting us to show up.
So there you go. So much for getting any more details out of these jerks.
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Maybe if Jack had been there, he'd have been able to give us some damn answers about this company for once.
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Re: March 5th. This is ridiculous. These had vanished again?
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But from what I keep hearing, whatever was on that wall last month is gone now and the elevator is "back." Not like it matters anyway, it won't open.
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[she has such good priorities. but also:]
how odd
is it an office or a joke shop ?
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If "breaking into the offices of a reality-altering social media app together" counts as friends, then yes.
Looks more like a joke shop to me so far. No one was even around, so it's not like any work was getting done.
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i'm just going to resign myself to infinite threadjacks right now
LAUGHS sounds like the right life to live
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Which goes both ways, since this whole app has been a crappy joke since the start.
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Like last month, with the ad libs security door.
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im basically baskin robbins
[ Obligatory. It's kind of a "you say the name of an eldritch being and it summons them" type deal. ]
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I LAUGHED
i aim 2 please
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I know this app is the worst. It's creepy, and all that other stuff. I don't even think they're a legitimate company, honestly. But if they were, would going straight to the building reveal anything?
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If they've got a building, they've gotta be doing something in there that has to do with all this crayola.
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im starting 2 believe these ppl dont even exist
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your username cracks me up every time, jsyk
I'M SO GLAD......THANK YOU......
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That's too convenient to be anything but purposeful. But why?
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Best guess so far is it's all just trolling. The weird packages, the dumb app, the hallucinomemories...I'm starting to think this whole thing is a large scale practical joke from start to finish.