retrospec | text ❁ keep out of reach of children is an understatement

A few brief orders of business:

In the first: a package I retreived from the mailbox recently has afforded me a package of seeds with unusually helpful properties, given the current state of perpetual darkness we've found ourselves in. I've performed a handful of experiments with them and, as best I can tell, they're perfectly normal and harmless plants not unlike dandelions, with the one unusual property that the blossoms are luminescent — while in bloom, they glow.

Mass-producing them shouldn't be altogether difficult for me at my current state of...ability, so for anyone who would find it helpful to have one or several of these as an alternative light source, please let me know. Potting them seems as though it would be the easiest method of transfer, though I suppose if you really had your heart set on my weaving them into a glowing flower crown or somesuch, I could see about obliging.

In the second: in somewhat more alarming news, I also received a secondary package from Retrospec, which I'd like to have examined by...well, someone with some expertise in artifacts of an unusual nature. This request is slightly more...complicated, as I'm not really certain how to explain what it is I'm looking for, other than that if you happen to possess some means of perceiving when a potentially cursed object is actively working its curse, please let me know. I think it's rather imperative that I find out, as quickly as possible, whether this particular object is...operational, or not.

In the third: has anyone felt particularly restless lately, on account of the perpetual darkness or otherwise? I suppose it might just be me, but one never knows with matters including Retrospec, so I thought it prudent to ask.

In the fourth: I'm twenty-four now. Not that that's really an order of any sort of business, of course, but I thought it at least worthy of a footnote.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

probably just by misspelling jim's name
that's pretty fucking insulting

foxy
what the actual fuck

do you want to howl at the moon
please say yes

if i responded to that the way i wanted to
i'd probably end up in more trouble than just pouring you a few shots

J U M 🖕
would be just four characters in total, really.

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SOUL-STEALING ORB.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyymaybe.

Trouble with Chuuya, or trouble with me?

oh that's good
you do emojis?

so what the fuck are you holding it for a friend?????

that's good enough
i'll stand guard while you howl at the moon
make sure none of your students you teach see you
etc etc
no need to thank me

chuu probably

I don't see why not, if they're simple enough. More elaborate ones might be an issue.

It's not MY fault Retrospec sent it to me in the mail.

Are you going to borrow a Red Riding Hood costume while you do just for thematic harmony.

...Most likely, yes.

💃
how about this one

it sort of is
do you know your connection to it?
or maybe they sent you someone else's soul sucking shit orb

i was the wolf for halloween thanks
but i'd prefer granny i think??

i like to pick my battles and cheap shots with that one

Complicated. That one will cost extra.

...I told you what I, ah...did, in a past life, didn't I? As a profession. That's my connection to it.

Does this end with an innuendo where I eat you all up because if so, let's pull ourselves back from the point of no return while we still have a chance.

Cheap shots, or shots cheap? Both seem relevant in this particular story.

i guess it makes sense that the best emoji would cost extra

that makes some sort of sense
text me?

look if you're the one who supplies the innuendo it's definitely not my fault

i'd never give you shots cheap foxy
you deserve the good shit

The hula girl is the best emoji? And here I thought it was the eggplant.

Of course, give me just a minute.

Perhaps not, but it might at least make you an accomplice.

Now I'm touched. You'd risk Chuuya's ire to deliver me the good shit, I really AM special.

do i look like a frat boy to you

accomplice might as well be my middle name
it's not a bad one
i like the ring of it

i mean i guess
have you ever annoyed chuu just for fun?
more satisfying than you'd think
his irritated faces are hilarious

You have a legend about you on the university campus and your moniker is "Party Satan". You're doing a fine imitation of it.

And I don't know that I've ever deliberately annoyed him. I've teased him, certainly, but that's a little different. Gunning more for fluster than for irritation.