[Text] From Late Night

[matchbreaker]

[ I mean she's still out in Magatus but there's a thought which has sort of lingered in the back of her mind for a while now and as such more to clear her mind from thoughts of wolves and the thoughts of her own son (including of all things puns, why??? she's going to put out vaguepost in the form of: ]

So does anyone else have children in the memories they've been getting?

To answer my own question the woman I am in my memories has a son and then her son has three children as well.

[ So this tbh pretty young looking 41 year old is a grandmother in her memories but that's beside the point. ]

Comments

[livingimpaired]

For right now, I'd say we're about the same age.
I've only received a few memories.
Some were in his twenties.
Some were at an age I'd say is close to mine.
His skills and sharpness is far beyond my own, however.
It's a little humbling, honestly.

Why?

[matchbreaker]

A realization I had a while ago, I guess?

A the memories I've gotten concentrate on two main ages and while one's younger than me, one's much older than me. These are the whole lives of people, right? So there could be more to it and some people might be older or younger than they are here.

[livingimpaired]

That's true.

We could very well see how we died.

[matchbreaker]

Yeah, that's a possibility. Maybe someone'll even see that whole world ending thing.

[livingimpaired]

The world ending -- that would be something.

[matchbreaker]

Something, that's for sure

[livingimpaired]

It is not a something I want to see, however.
I cannot even fathom it.
I cannot comprehend it.
I apologize for how dismissive I sounded as I reread what I wrote, but it is honestly something I cannot humor in my thoughts.
If someone sees such a sight in their memories, our efforts should be to care for them.

Would that be something you'd be interested in adding to your notes about this app?

[matchbreaker]

[ She has one already. A poor teenage girl who should never have had to deal with it. But there's no reason to be so public with it. She exhales and... ]

If the information should come to someone then... yes. There's a significance chance that risk could exist still, if all our souls are supposedly from dead worlds.

Not that I would wish that on anyone.

But if it was, then that ought to serve as a warning.

[livingimpaired]

A warning?
Perhaps, you misunderstand my intention.
I have no need to know the way the world ends.
I have no reason to know what it looks like.
I merely believe a person that sees may end up broken underneath the sight and should be looked after by others to ensure that they can return to the light.

[matchbreaker]

I agree that's the priority.

But I also think that should someone remember what Retrospec's supposedly been cleaning up after, we should try to know more.

[livingimpaired]

It is good that you agree on my thoughts.

But I disagree on the later.
What if they were just a bystander in the chaos?
What knowledge could they have?
Sometimes, the pursuit of knowledge is not worth it, Elda Marker.

[matchbreaker]

[ The pursuit of knowledge isn't... Mmmmmm ]

Something is better than nothing, if we're going to do anything about it.

[livingimpaired]

There is that pride talking.
Pride and very little thought.

My morals tell me to leave them be with what they know.

[matchbreaker]

Then you do that, there's no reason you shouldn't.

My moral say to respect what people want, and I would like them to choose to volunteer. You're right, it is thoughtlessly prideful for me to say something like "save the world," but . . .

My family's on this world.

[1/2]

[livingimpaired]

I understand.

You want to know so that you can protect your family.
You want to know so that you can use the abilities of everyone to keep them safe.
It's a wish born of the purest of intentions.
The wish of a mother that wants to see her children outlive her.
The wish to protect this world from what could destroy it with the knowledge of other worlds.

But your wish and your love for your family does not mean others should suffer.

[livingimpaired]

No one should feel they should volunteer.
It shouldn't even be asked of them.
Because what could they say to these honest feelings?
What person could say that they would wish to never think of it again in the face of such pure love for one's family?
They would think of their own family on this world.
If not them, then the people that matter to them.
Moral obligation.
Social obligation.
Or they are silent and they never tell anyone.
So no one knows that they can volunteer.
Then, what, Elda Marker? What happens to those people that you wanted the priority to be to watch over them?

1/2

[matchbreaker]

[ Jesus Christ, this guy. ]

[matchbreaker]

Then I'll look after them too!

Anyone can volunteer their information or their abilities if they want, and if they don't want to, then they can stand back and keep living as they have. I've made it clear this whole conversation, that whole guide, there's no shame in either of those.

But if someone's going to making themselves that vulnerable to me of all people, then I'm responsible. Now, are you done being circular?

[livingimpaired]

You feel there is no shame in it.
But you're doing something.
You're on missions and you're hoping for us to defend the city.
What would you know about shame of not wanting to do anything?
You can't, because you have those you want to fight for.
There are those that have such people, but unable to do anything.
You can say all you like that they needn't feel shame, but that pours more salt into the wounds coming from a capable person who is doing their best.

So no. I am not done being circular.
Because you didn't see I was walking in a straight line this entire time.

[matchbreaker]

I said there's no shame, and there's no shame in it. Plenty of people aren't capable, sure. Or just think they aren't, which maybe they want to work on that, but that's also fine Plenty of people just don't want to, and that's fine too.

I'm not something special just because I signed up knowing my son would be out here.

[livingimpaired]

And that is why you cannot take responsibility for another person's vulnerability.

As I said, you are not a saint.
You are a mother that loves her children very much.
You cannot hold onto someone else's vulnerability and shame when you are nothing special.

[matchbreaker]

Why not?

I can sure help them with it, I can sure talk to them and look after them.

[livingimpaired]

What was the main reason you wanted this knowledge and inflict this hurt? To possibly protect your children, correct?

How can you help someone with it when your thoughts were already on yours and your own?
The answer is you can't.
You can't put someone first unless you put them before your family.
And you can't do that, Elda Marker.

[matchbreaker]

Don't tell me what I can can can't do.

[livingimpaired]

Then can you place someone's happiness before your sons'?
Someone's well-being before their own?