retrospec | loading...overflow

hey. looks like you're all busy right now and joanne is down with a cold, so this probably doesn't have to be fancy. r&d doesn't report anything major for the next month so don't be dumbasses and make a problem of your own. don't fuck with the liaison, we're not replacing him.

looks like there's some weird fucking stone at city hall now. enjoy that, i guess.

pretty sure zee warned you about the stones, but if you broke it, that sucks and we don't know how to fucking fix it yet so good job, idiot. you might need to be a little proactive. r&d probably has something in mind, but good fucking luck getting a straight answer out of any of them but the kid. maybe they'll at least tell zee what they need, though. or if you're chill with the loss, whatever.

that's about it.

wait, right. joanne wanted to thank two of you for letting her help with holiday shit last month. thanks for not being assholes. the kid likes having stuff to do, i guess.

and that's really it. later.

Wendy Guo
Security/Archivist
Retr

spec Incorporated

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[ That sees her laughing again, adopting a somewhat ironic tone. ]

Ah, there's that sort of righteousness that I would have expected. Of course, it was silly of me to think you'd feel special for this sort of thing.

[ Sip. ]

But to have that sort of response to me, I wonder, Clover? Are these thoughts you have yourself?

You can wonder all you like. I didn't come here to talk about myself.

[ Her tone implies especially, to talk about myself with you.

Sorry, Natalia. ]

No, of course not.

[ ah... it's odd. She actually feels a little bit lighter to have said something, even if it accomplished nothing and it's just her and Clover arguing again.

She takes another longer sip, perhaps even smiling a little. Maybe she just wanted to argue? She barely understands what she's feeling herself. ]

I don't know why you seem so happy when you've more or less admitted you could be turning into a murderer.

[ Did talking it loosen some screws in her head? ]

I don't either, really! It's odd.

[ It's odd, isn't it? But it's ... Maybe it's the fact it was the truth? Maybe it's the fact that Clover's outburst means she is suffering too> ]

Are you out of your mind?

[ Not that Clover knows Natalia might get some happiness from her suffering. ]

I don't think so. But these days, I might be getting closer...? I do actually feel much better now.

[ Not that it'll last, but. ]

[ Clover holds back a nasty comment that there's no might about it.

She takes a drink of her tea. ]

Is that so? I'm... [ not actually glad. ] Relieved to hear that. I hope talking about it with me helps you parse your thoughts about your memories and what to do about them.

[ She hums, pressing her cheek against the palm of her right hand, resting the elbow on the table. Her heart rate is still up... She... Mmm. ]

... I don't want to imagine the family I had in that world is the "real" one.

[ I THOUGHT I TAGGED THIS BACK ALREADY AHHHH SORRY

Those words hit a chord within Clover. It's a sentiment she shares. It's a sentiment that she hates to share. ]

They don't have to be. They're not the ones here with you in this place, at this time. You can choose your family.

[ She shakes her head, exhaling. She looks down at the table and... ]

Your family was chosen already, right...?

[ She doesn't mean to be ... okay no, for Clover she doesn't necessarily care if she's rude, but it's a delicate thing. She doesn't know much of anything about Clover's family, per se, but she had picked up she has some sisters and ... they don't look that much alike, when she's met and/or glanced at them on the network, given some are on there. So she's sort of... wondered. Made some assumptions. ]

That's a good point.

[ How much was it really chosen when she and all her other sisters were abandoned or neglected by their parents? How much of it was it up to chance if slowly, one by one, all her sisters are showing up in her "memories"? Her bitterness steeps with these questions, and it makes her hateful. ]

Yes. I would choose my sisters over anyone else. If my birth parents suddenly appeared, I'd choose my sisters without a second thought.

[ She's not afraid to admit her sisters aren't her sisters by blood. To Clover, those bonds are worth more than blood. ]

[ Mmmm. She nods all the same, bringing up her iced tea and taking a long, long sip from it, as she works hard to keep her red eyes timed on Clover's face. She weighs a response before... ]

That's so different... But that's probably helpful.

[ ... Mmm ] If you have a different family in your new memories, I mean.

I would choose my family now over the family in my memories as well.

[ There's little hesitation in that. Who would want to have a family out to kill you?

To Clover, it is a different family in her memories. ]

[ and Natalia, for a moment, focuses on Clover. Her face. Her eyes. And the looks down at her drink and does something she never allows around Clover, at least not without it being the form of shouting, like earlier: she shows her weakness. She blows some bubbles into her iced tea, and after a moment. ]

... As would I, of course. [ That's not what she meant to say. She lowers her gaze again and she... ] It's terrifying to me, how small and lonely that one is.

[ Despite the front Clover puts up, despite how she was willing enough to listen to Natalia, she's not completely moved by this show of weakness. It gets her to budge a little, but her sympathy is shallow.

She drinks the last of her tea. ]

That's why you should focus on the here and now, on your family that's here now.

[ She's a hypocrite, saying those words, but they're the right words. ]

[ She nods at that, blowing more bubbles in her tea. But she's also putting up her guard. That was hard for her to say and it's perhaps because she doesn't like Clover that she did so. It's somehow...

Expected?

That's perhaps the right word. Expected that an enemy should know some weakness like that, rather than dealing with the deeper sympathies of some loved one. She thinks on it for only a moment, and resists any urge to give some sharp reply.

After all, Clover was "humoring" her here, some humility is needed. ]

[ It's a little surprising that she doesn't get some of reply back, but she doesn't hate it. However, the more the silence stretches on, the more Clover has the chance to feel awkward. She looks down at her empty cup before she looks at Natalia again.

What else is she to say or do now? ]

Is there anything else you want to talk about? If not, I'll leave.

No, I would say that's all.

[ ... Does she thank her... ?

... No, thanking her would be too much, wouldn't it. So instead she exhales ever so softly. ]

Take care, Natalia.

[ Clover doesn't expect thanks, so with that, she stands and leaves after putting her cup away.

There's no reason for her to stay if Natalia has nothing else to share. ]

And you as well, of course.

[ If Clover will stand to leave, then she'll naturally sit a moment more, linger here to allow Clover to go without her in case they're heading the same way. It'd be obnoxious to be that close together. ]

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