[ hero complex intensifies ]

[hjack69]

aight weve talked about the memollucinations ( im calling them flashbacks bc i never want to type memollucination ever again ) before so w/e about those

now i wanna hear from you folks that had new weird shit happen
im talking physical marks showing up out of nowhere
getting stuff from retrospec
the ability to make gravity your bitch ( or some other weird power thing i guess )

nothings happened to me personally outside of remembering stuff but people are starting to get hurt and im gonna make damn sure it doesnt end up a regular thing
you can share what you remember if you want it might trigger someone elses flashbacks

here i even made a survey

Name: Age: Occupation: Describe the weird crap you've had to deal with:

ya welc

[ This can kind of function like an open post if you like! Threadjacking is cool, etc. ]

Comments

[hjack69]

nah see all you gotta do is make a water bottle silencer
theyre one-shotters but theres a crapass ton of water bottles everywhere so idk i guess the best gun to have would be a sniper rifle
finding bullets would be a pain in the ass but bullets arent that hard to MAKE really
quality would be ass but if you cast them right theyd work

so basically im good

[alienates]

Sooooooooo
Is there a particular reason you know all of this information?

[hjack69]

nnnnnnot any that id be willing to share in public
i used to run with a bad crowd when i was your age basically
like " we have our own bars " bad

[alienates]

Alright I got it you had a bar and also knew how to silence guns.
I am not going to ask any questions.
... Ok I may ask some questions but not in a public setting.

[hjack69]

i also know how to make prison hooch so strong itll make you blind for fifteen minutes
the 80s were a hell of a time kiddo

[alienates]

I didn't think you were going to raise more questions, but here they are, just goddamn popping out of the ground like overeager carrots.
What the fuck is prison hooch?

[hjack69]

now THIS i can tell you bc ill cut out the parts where you could actually make it
kinda like when they show you how to cook meth on tv?

[ no he won't. ]

i know the joke abt prison is toilet wine but thats not how my friends did it
see what you do is you get one of those big waterproof sack things they bring crap into the prison with and in this sack you mash up whatever flavor fruit of like 800 proof alcohol you want and let it ferment
then you strain it all through a sock
then you wait more
then you strain it

theres a lot of straining involved
eventually you get your product and if you use potatoes itll be so strong youll go blind for a few minutes
its like shooting up w frickin everclear

also dont do this drugs and prison hooch are bad

[alienates]

First of all, all of that sounds disgusting?
I am sure the options in prison are pretty limited though so I will forgive that.
They're clean socks though right? Just tell me that they are clean.
Also how long are you supposed to let it ferment?

[hjack69]

i mean when youre stuck in a box with a whole lotta people that know how to kill other people really well you work with what ya got
hopefully theyre clean?? jesus christ i hope so
and it takes a period of time that i will not publicly specify in order to cover my ass should any of you dumbshits reading actually try this
but yeah
fermentation process and all

[ so if you really want to know, google it. ]

never went to prison but im tellin you i wasnt always this educated and badass
or particularly literate

[alienates]

[ he is googling it?? prison hooch sounds disgusting but the fact that jack refuses to tell karkat the exact process makes him want to know the exact process. ]

To give you the benefit of the doubt most people do not pop out of the birth hole educated, badass, or particular literate.
Although now I am wondering why you are drinking prison hooch when you are not in prison.

[hjack69]

hey I dont drink prison hooch ive actually got the money for decent shit im just describing the super cool process somebody figured out all on their own
thats kind of awesome
this is only step one of the "i made poor decisions in my youth " package
step two is making shanks out of newspaper
step three: meth

im joking btw i wont teach you how to make meth

[alienates]

I will cross out trying out meth from my list of extremely dumb shit to try out.
You sure have talked me out of that one.
Anyway so does this mean you're going to teach me how to make a shank out of a newspaper?

[hjack69]

i thought sickles transcended all levels of awesome and bladed weaponry

[alienates]

Well they do.
Sickles > literally goddamn everything.
But knowing how to make one of those seems like a pretty useful life skill to have and I will not say no to the opportunity of broadening my horizons.

[hjack69]

absolutely not i am a responsible adult and a functioning member of society and i would NEVER hand over such clandestine information

i mean that would be bad

[alienates]

I am going to put out a possible scenario for you.
Let's say that I am walking home after my shift from work. My shifts are pretty late, btw, so it's pretty dark out when I get out.
And as I am an amazing worker, I would not think of bringing a sickle to the premises of my place of employment.
But then I get jumped by the... fuck I don't know, the mob or something.
Random gangster #4646 or just some hobo who really wants coke. I don't know. Their backstory is unimportant.
If I had known how to make a shank out of newspaper then MAYBE I could have defended myself.
Yet some people decided I didn't need to know so instead I fucking die.
Can you live with my death on your shoulders?

[hjack69]

ok one backstory is SO important
does random gangster #4646 have a family to feed??
is the coked out hobo actually a vietnam vet??
also coke doesnt necessarily put you in a stabbin mood and if hes a hobo i doubt he has the budget for a frickin coke habit anyway
nah hes probably drunk
which means you oughta be able to dodge him no prob
with the gangster the thing is you gotta throw em off their guard and assert dominance any way you can, even if it involves acting fucking terrifyingly crazy
90% of the time theyre just dumbass brats who spook easy and dont want to deal with a difficult mark
i mean the other 10% youre super dead but hey personally i like those odds

[alienates]

You raise very good points once again.
Also questions, but I am just going to shove those aside for the time being and instead focus on the matter at hand here.
We will go back to those other ones though in time.
Also wouldn't it be easier to act crazy if they saw me with a newspaper shank?
So we just went around in a circle that just lead back to why you need to show me how this is done because holy fuck I am really curious now.

[hjack69]

i mean screaming and waving your arms around like noodles always worked for me?
thats what i did before i bought a knife
makes people think you know kung fu
anyway howre they gonna know its a shank?
those things are kinda like the predator of the knife world you dont even see them coming

but no i will DEFINITELY ABSOLUTELY NEVER EVER show you how to make a knife out of newspaper that would just be
man thatd be pretty irresponsible of me huh
even if you show up around my class sometime and ask in person im not doing it kemosabe

[alienates]

I am not a shank expert I don't know all the inner workings and etiquette of the shanking world.
Also wouldn't screaming like that just make you look stupid??
I know that's the point but still.

But alright.
I will definitely not go to that campus with the intention of asking you to teach me how to make a shank.
That is a thing that I have zero plans on doing so we are both on the same page here. Got it.

[hjack69]

well considering where i lived as a kid the only alternatives were throwing rocks rattlesnakes or THE WORD OF THE LORD at people instead
noodle arms was all i had

and thats good bc i dont know ANY other cool stuff either like at ALL
nothing useful for a young go getter like yourself since you flatter me and i like you for that

[alienates]

While I would take the rattlesnakes over the Bible fuckers, I see your point.
Noodle arms does seem like a better alternative even if you are more likely to get stabbed in that one.

I am so very disappointed by this turn of events and that I am going to get absolutely nothing from this conversation.
Thank you for being such a good adult figure, man.