retrospec | (no subject)

Meet Berry. Berry's something called a Pokémon, which seems to be shorthand for "we needed something to call our rpg monster friends that sounds a little less like we're going to take up a sword and hack them down for experience and quest fulfillment." He's a Sneasel. I don't know why he's called a Sneasel. I guess Sneacat was already taken. He loves snow, attention, and eating all of my food.

At the passing suggestion of a friend of mine (hi Dave) and with the help of my impulse control, I decided to spend a semester in college learning sign language to see if that was something I could teach my trusted magical creatures. Berry here was my prime test subject because of a distinct presence of hands and because he's a nosy jerk that reads my texts. He definitely has the intelligence for something like that, or so I thought, anyway. Even without any help, he's pretty good at expressing himself. They all are.

Anyway, the answer is yes. He can absolutely learn whatever he wants. The problem is that all he wants to learn is more creative ways to demand that I feed him. I'm not sure what I expected from the magical cat weasel.

The real punchline is that I learned that there are magical people that can just read these guys' thoughts and memories. All that work, just to find out some guy that was in my world once can just peek into their head like it's google. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people, and sign language is actually pretty neat to learn. I'd have to take way more classes to make learning it into anything worthwhile, though, and I'm already regretting the price of college tuition.

I've been thinking about regrets a lot lately. I regret getting spray paint on my favorite shoes. I regret that time in fourth grade when I underestimated high tide and lost my backpack. I regret not sharing masterpieces from regretsy with more people before their site went down. I regret going out to the frozen north like anything good ever happens in cold places like that, and I definitely regret buying nyquil instead of dayquil.

I can think of dozens of others, but hey, let's level the playing field here. I'd like to hear about other people's regrets here on the internet, where hundreds can hear. Maybe we can all appreciate our collective errors together.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well I'm certainly not going to announce my secrets all over the network! So stars will have to do instead!

☆

Then you'll share your secrets in person?

☆☆☆

Depends on what you're asking! You're lucky I'm even considering!

☆☆☆☆☆

I just want to learn something new about you, Boss.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

How sweet of you! You're going to have to try harder to butter me up before I reveal anything though! ☆

Hey, I don't try to butter you up. I only come to you with the most honest of intentions. ☆

Oh, of course! I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Silver! ☆

So you shouldn't have any trouble with sharing a couple of secrets, right? You even said they weren't really regrets. ☆

Perhaps~ We'll just see how I'm feeling during work, won't we? ☆

Yeah, at

I need to call in sick.

[Silver never calls in sick. Silver would rather get carted off to the hospital straight from work than call in sick. He even forgot his stupid star-]

[whoa, hang on]

You're calling in sick? My, that's a new one. Are you in the hospital?

[like honestly, he wouldn't put it past you to be writing this from a hospital bed.]

I don't think the hospital can help. I'll get it together within a day, promise.

[Somehow. Sleeping it off isn't going to cut it... Maybe Wesker has some sort of miracle drug?]

Although I don't think it's contagious, so I could come in anyway.

Your health does come first, so if you're in no condition to work, don't come in.

Yes sir.

I mean... Thanks.

You're welcome. Focus on taking care of yourself! It really would be a shame if anything happened to you.

That's the real secret, isn't it? I'm lucky I've got such a caring boss.

[Maybe a little jab will lighten the mood.]

Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me.

Well, I certainly can't have that getting out, now can I?

[Of course he's going to go along with it, he can't help it!!

...But.]

Let me know if there's anything I can do, though.

Be careful if you head out of the city.
That's the best thing you can do.

I'll be sure to keep that in mind, but I was asking if there's anything I can do for you.

[...You know, he gets what Jaeger's trying to do here, but-]

Can I get a raise?

Very funny. I suppose this is something you're going to keep brushing off?

[It's possible it's just because this is on the network, but Jaeger wouldn't be surprised if Silver's just Like This when people try to help him.]