text | into the mess that scalpels make

[spes_phthisica]

Soujirou Katsuki 4/30 near Tribunal Terrace

you know, normally I'd probably come up with some kind of excuse for why I've been kind of reclusive and like nowadays, basically ANYTHING would sound plausible, right? "I got back memories suggesting I was a serial killer and I've been avoiding people for the public good" or "I've become possessed with the spirit of a hermit" or "I now have the power to turn people into pudding with my eyes" btw if this has happened to anyone, I'm sorry I was just really insensitive (ㄒoㄒ) but I guess the truth is that my health took a huge dip and I've been in and out of hospital for a bit and I don't like talking about that much at all but yeah they're considering a lung transplant if I can get my health better so I guess hit me with all the classic social media health tips? not kombucha tho I would rather die thanks y(^ｰ^)y also I'm so incredibly bored, please send cat vids or something

Comments

[drydrown]

Well, that's depressing; honestly, I think I would have preferred the memories of being a serial killer.

But then, I'm terrible at offering people my condolences.

[...There's a huge pause before another is sent.]

Sympathies. It's sympathies when people are still alive, isn't it.

[spes_phthisica]

well for what it's worth you made me laugh
startled the nurse a bit, but that's what they get for walking on eggshells

and I mean I have memories of being a fearsome warrior, so I guess it's not too far from the serial killer :P
but I think I prefer them to how boring hospitals are too

[drydrown]

Glad to be of service, I suppose.

I can send you a picture of my cat if you want, but in the meantime - and in the interest of entertainment - what sort of warrior were you?

[spes_phthisica]

I am always so open to pictures of cats, and especially now
not many pets in hospitals
samurai. apparently one that is quite historically famous (　◜◡‾)

[drydrown]

Well! You're doing far better than I am, at any rate. Apparently I used to be a knight of some sort, though not from any world that even halfway resembles Earth.

[spes_phthisica]

not sure about that. he was famous for being terrifying and deadly + dying young in tuberculosis ^^; but it sure is something
is it one of those worlds full of magic and monsters and things like that?

[drydrown]

It is, yes. Unfortunately, I don't have any magic that I know of; I was more of the swordsmanship and politics sort. Not a particularly kind one, either, if we're taking the deadly route.

[spes_phthisica]

that's a bit of a shame, but it could still be some quite exciting memories, right? a lot of what I've heard from people sound like epic scifi or fantasy adventures
then again some things kind of sound like horror

[drydrown]

I wouldn't say mine are all that terrible, though the most exciting thing I've remembered so far is dying. It wasn't a pleasant way to go, either.

So take that as you will, I suppose.

[spes_phthisica]

no I imagine not
I’ve seen someone receive a memory like that and it did not look like a nurturing experience
I’m not looking forward to it at all

then again I’ve remembered killing people too and that wasn’t much fun either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
have you remembered anything like that? since you mentioned swordsmanship I mean

[drydrown]

I know a lot of people died because of me, but I don't remember explicitly murdering anyone. Not for want of trying; I was stopped before I could, once.

[spes_phthisica]

oh
those kind of memories are hard to deal with

was it actual murder you were trying or was it more a battle kind of thing?
I mean not that there's a huge difference, I guess

[drydrown]

It was more that I decided to play judge, jury, and executioner when I encountered a group of criminals that I was supposed to arrest. A lack of following due process, I suppose, outside of the notion that there certainly was a process involved and I was definitely doing it.

[me_matey]

hey whoa wait lung transplant?

[spes_phthisica]

[Thats the problem with not telling people about little things like chronic illness. Awkward.]

well the ones I have aren’t up to much, and there’s not really any way of fixing them
so... yeah

[me_matey]

thats



pretty heavy, im so sorry

[spes_phthisica]

it's not much fun to talk about
it's why I usually don't （　´∀｀）
but it's not like I can probably keep it hidden much longer and I don't want to worry people so

anyway I'm not dead yet, right?

[me_matey]

guess thats true. i aint about to start mournin u either.

[spes_phthisica]

good. it would be kind of embarrassing to have like
black dressed weeping people following me about (^◇^；)
pretty depressing too.
besides I've already decided that I'm going to at least finish my studies and get a job. I've worked too hard to just die before that.

[me_matey]

hell ye dude give the reaper the bird and tell em to get bent

[windowdressing]

If it's any reassurance, the medical facilities here are pretty good with that kind of thing, even if it obviously fucking sucks going through it regardless.

I had a bone marrow transplant there over a decade ago, and I'm still here now, so.

[ ...anyway here's a brief video of his beautiful queen staring into the kitchen sink with grave alarm after the garbage disposal is turned on for half a second. ]

[spes_phthisica]

mm I really hate hospitals but everyone here is really nice at least
also I realize that's pretty long ago and the procedures are wildly different but... do you remember how you felt before the treatment?
if it's not weird to ask

also not to be weird but I think I would take a bullet for your cat (ᗒᗨᗕ)

[windowdressing]

I mean, immediately before, I felt terrible, since I had to go through several days of chemo in preparation for it. Though I assume that's not what you're asking.

[ hm. he's never really talked about this, or even thought too hard on it, so he doesn't have an immediate answer. ]

I don't know, I was a kid with no friends who hadn't done much. I didn't have much of a life, so I don't think I cared that much about how it turned out, as long as I didn't have to keep feeling like shit all the time. I was more scared of suffering through possible complications than of dying.

[ ...this really is an awkward conversation shift, but he brought it on himself. ]

I'm sure she'll be flattered to hear that. :)