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[selfloving]

What an impressive turnout for the date auction this past weekend. I won't presume to speak for all of ReVA, but I myself appreciate the support we received. And I should say I'm impressed by the strength of some of our bidders. I hope the exchange was satisfactory. :)

... It's difficult. Even with everything that we try to accomplish, horrifying things happen nonetheless. It can be so easy to still feel powerless. But I'd like to use this momentum we've build this month for good.

Some of you may still be wanting to make a charitable donation. Say you were outbid or couldn't come. I've decided to bring in one last collection for the orphanage for the end of the month if you'd like to pitch in. Tell me your ideas and I'll try to set a date. Say, a week from today?

An orphanage isn't like an animal shelter. I say this not to be glib but because it can be easy to forget. Little luxuries and enrichment are very meaningful. I've put some thought into things that people don't usually think to donate.

Such as bathing suits. It's summer, lots of children will not have one, and trips to the beach aren't unheard of. And many of those at the facility are out of foster homes for a reason, so toys like Legos or putty. Anything geared toward teenagers or older children. People tend to forget that orphans older than ten are still orphans.

With everything that's happened these past months... I wonder if our presence here is just harmful to them all, in the end. Don't you think it would be better if they could just live their lives unhindered by these disruptions?

Comments

[breakingvoice]

i know i have people like that, even outside of you and Rose, but i appreciate the reminder. i do.

it would be really easy to slip into a place where i don't talk to anybody about anything, and that's almost as bad as the alternative. at least, for me. maybe it works for other people. but i'm trying really hard to talk about things that bother me even if it's hard sometimes.

[selfloving]

[She knows she's probably one of the "other people" being mentioned in that comment, and it gives her some pause.]

It's sad, not seeing you as vibrant as you usually are. But that's how I know when something is really bothering you, too.

Is it more from last month, or something new?

[breakingvoice]

[now's not the time for a breakdown, girl. you can do this. you can say exactly as much as you need to say. you've got this.]

it's... everything. i remembered more things i don't want to think about and two of our sisters are missing and there's just... so much happening. i've been trying as hard as i can to bring everybody back because i feel like it's the only thing i have any control over anymore.

i guess we'll see if it worked.

[selfloving]

[She doesn't want to go ahead and tell Lina that there might not be anything they can do. Jasmine doesn't want to believe it herself, for starters. Withholding information to protect feelings... She's been doing something like that more and more lately.]

They're still there. It's difficult to say this given that "memories" have caused us so much grief, but if they haven't vanished from our memories, then we should take that as a sign they're still around. Still themselves.

Do you want to help me get things ready for the orphanage?

[breakingvoice]

i do. i should be out there doing things instead of here on my phone anyway. i can't do anything useful here.

[should she tell Jasmine about what R... Zero offered to do? is it something she already knows? maybe she'll keep quiet. she will. no maybe about it. she doesn't want to be some simple, foolish idiot in Jasmine's eyes like when she said that oh-so-helpful little tidbit about everything being named after archangels.]

thank you for offering.

[selfloving]

Sometimes you need to be ready before you act. There's no shame in needing to know what you're doing first.

I know you still care about the kids there, so this is a nice way to show we still think of them, too. Even if most of them there don't even know us by now... It's nice to have that legacy.

[breakingvoice]

i try to tell stories about some of the more fun things we all got up to when i come visit, but it's getting harder and harder to find something that's actually appropriate to tell children, so i haven't done it in a while. we weren't exactly model kids ourselves, after all.

the ones there now only know the part of me i think it's okay to show them. i'm auntie Lina, the one who comes by and makes them some really nice food every so often. they don't know much about our family and i think the employees like it that way.