retrospec | UN: Lily; April Fool's!

[A video flickers to life on the screens of the app users today. In it, two masked people stand on either arm of an ominous machine, one tall and one quite short. When they speak, their voices have obviously been altered, most likely thanks to the small mics by their mouths that have been attached to some wire - leading no doubt to some kind of speaker, even if it’s hidden by their matching dark hoodies. Black seems to be a theme for them really - aside from the purple masks, their identities are completely concealed with not only their hoodies, but black face masks under the animal ones, black gloves, black pants--

There is basically no way to read this message as anything but ominous.]

Greetings, users of Retrospec.

[The taller figure speaks first. They keep their hands in their hoodie pocket and keeps their tone low and flat.]

We have felt that it has become quite stale and boring in Recolle lately, so we have decided to take things into our own hands. As a result, today, we have a little game planned out for you all.

We have taken the liberty of planting a number of sinister and dangerous objects around the city. What these items are, they are up to your own imagination but understand that they are potentially threatening to you and those around you. If even just one of them is left undiscovered by midnight, we cannot guarantee what might happen. Therefore, we highly recommend that you heed our warning and search for them.

We also recommend that you focus on scouring the city for these items rather than looking for us. We have already incapacitated one of your fellow users, taking her phone and using it to record us now. We will not hesitate to do the same to anyone who might come across us, regardless if it was intentional or not.

[The taller hooded stranger then pulls out a photo from their hoodie pocket and holds it towards the camera. In it, Yuuki (

sleepingknight) is seen face down on the ground with a large mechanical foot crushing her back. Looking at the design and colour scheme of this foot, it's clear that it belongs to the terrifying machine in this video transmission. After a few seconds of displaying the photo, the figure takes it back and places it back into their pocket.]

We're sure that some of you must recognize her. Rest assured, we will release her when we see fit.

[And once the taller one finishes their speech, the shorter of the pair snatches the phone for their turn.]

She reeeally screamed the whole time - Vanderweele, Retrospec, things like that.

[They wave a hand, as though waving away the very concepts of the two.]

How trite. Allowing such people to have their way with this city...

I think it’s time for Vivarium to step up and stake their claim. We are many more than Vanderweele or Retrospec can muster, and we’re ready to have a little fun.

[The figure then gives a bow, arms out in an elegant twirl. The taller one follows in a bow as well, but they hold themselves closer with a hand to their chest and the other arm flat on their side.]

We hope to see your very best performance here... for the sake of the city, and for the sake of your little friend.

Best of luck, Retrospecters.

((OOC: Yuuki and Kokichi decided to help bring the best holiday ever to Retrospec app users! Those who know of their guild Vivarium are free to recognize the masks and realize this is probably not nearly as sinister as they’re making it out to be. Both will be responding, and they have indeed hidden items across the city in various locations around town, behind dumpsters, under benches, basically tucked away all over. The items are just little black boxes with a cheerfully scrawled “April Fool’s!” note inside along with a single sad piece of off-brand and expired candy. Congrats on your dedication to protecting this fair city!))

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[Normally, Asami would be absolutely freaking out. It's Vivarium! And... she actually has a chance to talk to them! But at the same time, she's a little freaked out after seeing Yuuki in the video. What if they just remembered they were arch villains in a previous life and went back to their old job?]

[Either way, she's going to speak to them in their language.]

Even the most obscure side quests have SOME kind of hint. You guys are too good to need any kind of unfair advantage!

Finally, a real challenger!

It's true that there's a ton out there. And I am feeling merciful.

Try this one on for size!

A platform for stars of all ages
Grab a pamphlet, turn the pages
Surrounded on all sides by sound

[She means the Atrium.]

NOW this is a proper fetch quest! Just you wait, I'll put a stop to your evil schemes!

[Serious or not, Asami can't help but let a little drama bleed into her response. Though... gosh that clue's throwing her for a loop, at least at first...]

[Oh Asuna, how are you so perfect.

Luckily, even if she doesn't find the Atrium, there's plenty of places around town where she might notice a little black box hidden away - under benches, behind dumpsters, just enough to give the sense of being hidden without being totally out of sight of a passerby.

Hmmm!

>Open?]

[She'd been wandering for about a good twenty minutes, and though she didn't find the Atrium right away, it was a pretty good way to explore the city. It was only when she stopped to rest at a bench that she discovered one of the boxes, her foot tapped it while she plotted her next move. She reaches under, stares at the box a moment with a mixture of curiosity and dread. Slowly, she pries off the lid and looks within...]

[A moment later, she sends another message.]

I thought I'd feared the worst, but I underestimated the depths of your wickedness! This piece of Funnee Taffee is hard as a rock! Someone might've chipped a tooth!

[If only you could see how big the smile on her face was right now...]

Horrible, isn't it?

Think of the havoc that will be wrought if it's all left for the poor children to discover instead!

You fiends! In that case, I'll scour the city and protect all the little ones from your schemes!

[She really is looking, too... ever so often she sends selfies of her holding up different boxes and making silly faces. In one she even nibbles on a piece of candy, making an exaggerated look of disgust.]

[Is this the greatest April Fool's Day ever? It might be, she's actually having fun!]

[Yuuki keeps up the game, responding to the selfies with messages of her own- no, not that one! Argh, our nefarious plan, being dismantled-!!]

Even I can't believe it... we've really been defeated.

You may have won this time, but we'll always be plotting, always preparing to take over this world for ourselves!

And I'll always be here, ready to stop you!

[Though, she can't quite leave it at that.]

This was a lot of fun. Thanks, I needed this!

[Aw, at least one person had fun!]

Mark my words, this won't be the last you see of us!

Good luck at our future games... You'll need it!

[Seriously, she got to play with Vivarium! Well, sort of. And she didn't make a complete fool of herself. This has been a pretty awesome day.]

I look forward to seeing what you'll throw at us next. I'm not afraid!

Who's to say that this was supposed to be fair?

[Squealing "I'VE SEEN ALL YOUR VIDEOS!!" isn't an appropriate response, is it?]

If you didn't want us finding them, you wouldn't have made an announcement at all. It's not a fun game without competition, is it?

[ maybe not but kokichi would certainly change up his online persona (his many... online personas...) into something nicer! gotta be nice to the fans. ]

It seems as if you are very familiar with how these sort of games work and I see that you have already found one of our traps.

Perhaps we finally have a very serious contender on our hands.

[Did... did he really just...]

[She can't tamp down the excited squeal. Hopefully there's no one around her right now, because that just made her week.]

Yes, and they are so remarkably devious and sinister! Shall I continue searching to keep the city safe from expired store brands?

[ if only they knew who each other were irl. ]

Of course.

... unless you're willing to give up and forfeit your victory to us. We'd understand if you wish to save face and end everything on a good note.

[If she ever finds out, it's going to be a HUGE ~~disappointment~~ shock.]

Give up? Are you crazy? If I have to find every single one of your surprise boxes, then I'll do it! I have no intention of backing off!

UN: Lily; April Fool's!

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