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Go on, try me. One of my roommates comes to me for advice all the time, and I'd say he's a pretty satisfied customer. I mean, just today he asked me how many flowers is too many flowers and I told him that if he had too many, he could always sacrifice a few to spread some petals on his bed. I'm sure his boyfriend would get a kick out of that. I couldn't tell you if he liked that or the flower crown suggestion better.
Anyway, I mean it. If you've got any questions, I come equipped with an honest, expert answer for any situation.
[Nothing about his advice is expert, but he can do honest... Or at least stupid. Whatever helps him procrastinate on getting to sleep.]