retrospec | VIDEO ► 2017.07.15 "Something smells fishy"

Yosuke Hanamura shared a video.
07/15 near Recolle

[ The live feed starts with Yosuke leaning back into a chair in what appears to be a well-kept but quaint kitchen. He sits down at a dining table, looking seriously at the lens of his webcam. ]

Okay guys. I know people have posted stuff like this before, but I wanted this..."unveiling" or whatever to be live for public record. Or, well, our record anyway.

[ He shakes his head and reaches off the screen. As he sits back down he holds up an unmarked package in an unassuming manila hue. Just the type of thing anyone in Recolle wants to receive. It's just over a foot long and somewhat rounded and squishy looking, probably padded with bubble-wrap on the inside. ]

Yeah, so I got one too. I just got home like 20 minutes ago-- [ Not at all after spending a night at the Narukami's place making sure the twins weren't actually being as dumb as they seemed on their post. ] --folks are gone--and this was sitting on the doorstep with my name on it. I'm assuming a gift from our benevolent overlords and probably not a refund to that dumb gift from Jim's registry.

[ A pointed look at the camera. ]

Were they waiting for no one to be home? Gives me the creeps.

[ He shudders for effect. ]

Anyway...people have found like random weapons and tech just showing up at their door, so...whatever this is--whatever happens I want some witnesses.

[ Yosuke sets the package down and takes a deep breath. ]

Okay...here we go!

[ He starts to peel away the packaging tape, tearing away some of the paper of the package at the same time. Getting a little frustrated with that, he grabs a pair of kitchen scissors and decides to cut open one end. Suddenly, he pauses, giving the back a disgusting look. ]

What...what the...? This smells like shit...

[ Taking a tentative whiff, Yosuke makes a disgusted face and reels backwards. ]

Ugh!

[ This is suspicious. There's some hesitance, but Yosuke somehow musters up the courage and peels back the packaging...

...nope, it's not bubble wrap. It's just two large, definitely dead trout. ]

What the hell is this!?!?!

[ Yosuke scrambles backwards and quite literally falls out of his chair, knocking it over so that it hits the table and shakes his laptop. There's a short yelp as he tumbles and then a very loud shout from the floor. ]

You've gotta be kidding me!! Am I being punked?!

[ The dead eyes of the fish somehow seem like they're staring right at the webcam. It's almost like they know it's their time to shine. But Yosuke cuts it short, hauling himself up to his feet and nearly pushing the computer away as the frantically reaches out to smash the keyboard. ]

Screw this!

[ The live feed cuts.

And screw you, Jim. ]

(( OOC; Yosuke got back his fish weapons??. He hates fish. Replies can come in any format (text, video, facebook, whatever). I'll match you! ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tame?

[ He...he's upset about it, but he does realize.. ]

Yeah, I know. It's still annoying, though. It seems like everyone else is at least getting something interesting.

[ Look Yosuke, he got a dismembered human arm in the mail. If he had his pick of weird dead things to receive in the mail, he'd easily pick the fish.

Not that he's going to admit to the arm thing here. ]

'Interesting' is a double-edged sword. It's more exciting, but usually only because it's more dangerous and messed up.

[ Bucky please tell him about the arm. Please. ]

They're not all dangerous, are they? I guess one guy did get an arm...but it's been working for him so far, I guess.

[ Different person's arm. ]

What? Who? Who got an arm?

[ James is suddenly very panicked and very interested in this. Did somebody snitch? It was Malik, wasn't it. Malik told somebody about James's mail-order arm and somehow word spread. ]

Uh...this guy named Noah?

[ He...freely talked about it to Yosuke on the network so it's not a secret, right? He hopes so. ]

Oh. ...oh.

[ Now that Yosuke's clarified, James relaxes. He'd forgotten about that guy and his arm. He'd forgotten that he wasn't the first person to receive body parts (although, he's pretty sure his is the first one to be completely detached and dead). ]

Yeah, that's the kind of thing I mean. You're lucky you just got fish. Retrospec basically delivered you dinner, instead of a living nightmare.

No, there's no way I'm gonna eat these! How do we not know they're a living nightmare??

[ What if they're like...zombie fish. The fish he eats to start the zombie apocalypse? Hell no. ]

I didn't say you should eat them! Just that they're technically edible.

God, you're better off getting those tested for poison or radioactivity or something, than trying to eat them.

...

[ Hold on a sec. ]

Oh god, should I??

Were you planning on doing anything else with them?

Destroying the evidence?!?

[ He barks out a laugh--he can't help it. Yosuke is freaking out the exact same way he did earlier that week--except Yosuke's case seems so much less severe than his own package of a dismembered arm. ]

Evidence of what? It's just fish, man. People are gonna think you got it at a market.

[ ...No, really, in comparison Yosuke should be glad. He's just butthurt. And jealous of his friends. ]

I don't know! I just--...argh! Okay, I know it doesn't make sense, but fish are just really gross!

Really? Fish?

[ He can't help but sound a little judgmental. It's really weird, Yosuke. ]

So just give it to someone to check for suspicious crap, then let them dispose of it.

[ Look. He doesn't like fish. Some people don't like fish. ]

Does that mean you're offering?

[ ROOOOLLLS EYES ]

Alright, alright, if you're really that squeamish about fish, sure. But you're coming with.

VIDEO ► 2017.07.15 "Something smells fishy"

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