retrospec | (no subject)

(no subject)

Breaking news!

Okay, it's not that breaking, but I had to get your attention somehow. I'm doing this as a favor to my buddy Zoro, who is weirdly shy about promoting himself (c'mon buddy not good when you're starting a business!)

Have you ever wanted to get fit? Get sexy? Learn to dance??

Here's your chance! Come down to the Strongman Gym across the street from the Inkwell Bar tomorrow at 10PM and you can take your very first Pole Dancing class with resident strongman Ryouta "Zoro" Ono! Trust me, you won't regret it. I've seen him on a pole. He's very good.

[Everything in this post is a lie (except for the part where Toshi really has seen Zoro on a pole before). There are no dance classes. Just someone trolling his good friend...and maybe knocking out a bingo square in the process.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

0/10 sounds fake
guy can't even work a dance cage
don't trust

i have video evidence to the contrary
about the pole
not the cage
when was he in a dance cage??

dunno like a week ago?
actually
don't know how he got out
someone hates art i guess

i'm sad i missed this
zoro in a cage sounds awesome

like i said
0/10
no idea how to swing his hips
modern day tragedy

that is a damn shame
i've been on the wrong end of his hip swings
not sexy
but effective

IF IT'S NOT SEXY WHAT'S EVEN THE FUCKIN POINT TOASTY

listen sexy can be taught!!
look at me
two weeks in zoro's pole class and i can move with the best of them!

z has all the sexuality of a sad, soggy, smelly graham cracker
so
no
i don't believe you

ok but
was he still sober when he got put in the cage
that's important

i left him with a whole bottle of tequila
trust me
it wasn't gonna get any better

you're trying too hard to convince me that z is sexy
lying is a sin y'know
and not one of the fun ones