What I do know is that he used me to kill... senselessly so. I knew it was important to him, but in my own mind I can find no reason why he did the things he did. This disconnect makes these truths that I am faced with that much more troubling.

I can't turn away from this truth, and yet I desperately wish I could. I am locked, gazing into a void, knowing I will soon become one with it, and can do nothing to stop it. Or if I even should.