retrospec | (no subject)

(no subject)

[he can't believe it's easier to confess things to the internet than talking about them irl but. well. thanks fucking speech bubbles.]

know most of us are in that not my memories not me state so this'll probably be an unpopular question.

i need to get back more memories. seem to only get them while dying but i promised not to do that anymore. no drugs either.

[although given his memories, they'd probably help]

i've got five people i need to know more about. and a freakish reindeer. might be a raccoon. whatever. don't give me shit.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

least now you know another lone survivor.

how you handling it?

I'm not, that's the problem.

I keep trying to push the problem away with work or alcohol and it's not working. Of course it's not working. I'm starting to really doubt myself here. All my life, I knew exactly what I wanted to do and who I was but now...there's doubt.

I can't rid of these doubts. Once the first memory flared up, I was doomed for the start. I don't even think Ardyn, I love him to death, is really my brother...

I'm officially losing it, man.

[it's a familiar train of thought, not that he'll admit it.]

does it matter if he is?

...No, cause I'll kick anyone's ass who messes with Ardyn. Guaranteed.

that's all that matters isn't it?

[even if ardyn's still on his petty shit list]

don't really think either life is fake.

When you're right, you're 100% right.

[Oh the irony. Usually everyone and their dog likes his brother.]

So you think both realities are real?

yeah. not a popular opinion.

but i know what i feel and both feel true. so both are true.

But how can we be both "the person we are now" and "the men we were prior"?

Don't we have to pick? I know for me being the Captain of the Cavalry sounds better than being a beat cop.

don't know. how can you have a brother but not have a brother? everyone thinks they have to pick.

who says we don't have the freedom to be both?

don't really know how to explain it.

...That's a real unique way to think about it. It's probably the best way to think about this. No one said we had to pick.

No one.

[it was better before he knew he was the only one left]

pretty much.

and if someone does? fuck them.

Pretty much! I'm certainly down with that logic but one thing--

What have you figured out about your past life?

i was a pirate. big bounty. had a crew of at least six people. only remember the names of three. only really remember one.

we went to weird places. fought weird things. met weird people.

doesn't seem like a lot of it can be replicated here.

You was "pirate"? Like Long John Silver? Wow. I never would've guessed.

Is that why you liked living on a ship prior to the disaster?

dunno. could have been? i've always liked the water. might have something to do with it.

hard to say.

I swear you and I are opposites! I keep staring at the sky because I sort of remember how life was up there.

I miss it.

I feel so uncomfortable on land. As if I gotten my wings clipped.

tell me about it.

living in an apartment's got me claustrophobic.

We need "freedom", man. Like some breathing room.

Being grounded like this sucks completely. The only time I feel "free" is when I'm driving.

driving's good but tame.

nothing like the thrill of death.

[zORO]

The thrill of death?! Man, are you serious?

I think I know why you're a stunt man.

pretty much.

think there's some studies on us or something. something about how we don't fear death or something. just remember it sounded cool.

Men who laugh at the face a death and risk it all.

This sounds like the Guardian Corps motto.

guardian corps?

The Sanctum's eyes in the sky. We were the military flyboys who guarded Cocoon from any and all external threat.

From what little I can remember, we had airships, Zoro. Honest to god airships.

does that mean you had sky pirates too?

[he wants to be a sky pirate]