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[liberal_arts]

Kasen Kaneda shared a photo. 9/20 near Home

San-ju-roku Kasen 三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women. And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand. I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had seen great violence. in their new memories.

Comments

[ Private ]

[totallynotanoni]

Hi Kasen, this is Katherine.
I texted you in a misfire a few days ago.

I'm very sorry to hear you have to deal with this.
Would you feel oak talking about this with me?

Re: [ Private ]

[liberal_arts]

This may be a bit heavy to lay upon you so soon into our friendship.

[ Private ]

[totallynotanoni]

[ ....Damn, how do you respond to that? ]

I guess it is a bit weird for someone you barely know to offer that.
Sorry about that.
Its my instinct to worry about other people.

Are you doing ok, though?

Re: [ Private ]

[liberal_arts]

I'm honestly not sure. A recent memory has not sat well with me. Several haven't.

[totallynotanoni]

It doesn't sound pleasant from what your post says.

[ "grave act of brutality" doesn't exactly sit well with her. ]

If its okay, could you explain to me who the 36 Immortal Poets are?
My knowledge of Japanese poetry isn't that strong so I'm a bit in the dark.

[liberal_arts]

Fujiwara no Kintou, a famous poet himself, collected the works of 36 other poets, both his peers and those that came before him, into a series of publications during Japanese antiquity, the Heian period specifically. These men and women are basically considered legends in the crafting the art of Japanese poetry. I had to study their works in high school.

[totallynotanoni]

That sounds fascinating.
You seem to know a decent amount about this.
Are you a poet as well as an artist?

[liberal_arts]

Poetry is art.

But yes, I try to explore all mediums.

[totallynotanoni]

I guess it is when you think about it.
You sound like a bit of a renaissance man at this point.

[liberal_arts]

I try to be. Lately, it's been especially important. An affirmation of my reality, so to speak.

[totallynotanoni]

[ Now thats a curious thing to say. ]

What exactly do you mean by that?

[liberal_arts]

It's difficult to explain. At first I thought it was disassociation, but some memories I've had placed in my mind suggests it's significantly more complicated than that.

[totallynotanoni]

I see.
What exactly made you think it was disassociation?

[liberal_arts]

It wasn't so much that I felt this body wasn't my own, or didn't feel human at all. It's that I didn't even feel like a living thing, in the traditional sense. An object.

A tool.

[totallynotanoni]

[ "didn't feel human". That one gets her, in more ways than one. ]

I see.

[ If she didn't already have experience with how feelings got transferred through the regains, she would have immediately written this off as disassociation. ]

Out of curiosity, did you get this feeling as a memory on its own, or did you feel this during the memory?

[liberal_arts]

I felt it for some time. But more and more that I understand of what I once was, the truth of the matter becomes more and more clear.

[totallynotanoni]

Your saying that this "past self" wasn't human?
Or just didn't feel human?

[liberal_arts]

This past self wasn't even a living being, in the conventional sense.

An object. A tool.

A sword.

[totallynotanoni]

I've never heard of anything like that.
I can only imagine what your memories have been like.

[liberal_arts]

Even experiencing them, I can't quite describe them.

[totallynotanoni]

If its okay for me to ask, how do you receive most of your memories?
Most of mine come in a flash, like whenever their triggered I'm instantly set on seeing them.

[liberal_arts]

They come to me the same way as my artistic visions, seeping into my mind when I empty it of outside influence, or during my dreams.

[totallynotanoni]

I've had the dream memories before.
Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to figure out whats even going on.

[liberal_arts]

I didn't even accept them for what they were until some time later.

[totallynotanoni]

Mine are usually pretty obvious.
The first memory I ever had was triggered when I tried to ride a chocobo.
Next thing I knew I was hundreds of feet in the air on the back of a massive eagle.