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Kasen Kaneda shared a photo.
9/20 near Home

San-ju-roku Kasen

三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry

My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women.

And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand.

I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had

seen great violence. in their new memories.

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I guess it is when you think about it.
You sound like a bit of a renaissance man at this point.

I try to be. Lately, it's been especially important. An affirmation of my reality, so to speak.

[ Now thats a curious thing to say. ]

What exactly do you mean by that?

It's difficult to explain. At first I thought it was disassociation, but some memories I've had placed in my mind suggests it's significantly more complicated than that.

I see.
What exactly made you think it was disassociation?

It wasn't so much that I felt this body wasn't my own, or didn't feel human at all. It's that I didn't even feel like a living thing, in the traditional sense. An object. A tool.

[ "didn't feel human". That one gets her, in more ways than one. ]

I see.

[ If she didn't already have experience with how feelings got transferred through the regains, she would have immediately written this off as disassociation. ]

Out of curiosity, did you get this feeling as a memory on its own, or did you feel this during the memory?

I felt it for some time. But more and more that I understand of what I once was, the truth of the matter becomes more and more clear.

Your saying that this "past self" wasn't human?
Or just didn't feel human?

This past self wasn't even a living being, in the conventional sense. An object. A tool. A sword.

I've never heard of anything like that.
I can only imagine what your memories have been like.

Even experiencing them, I can't quite describe them.

If its okay for me to ask, how do you receive most of your memories?
Most of mine come in a flash, like whenever their triggered I'm instantly set on seeing them.

They come to me the same way as my artistic visions, seeping into my mind when I empty it of outside influence, or during my dreams.

I've had the dream memories before.
Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to figure out whats even going on.

I didn't even accept them for what they were until some time later.

Mine are usually pretty obvious.
The first memory I ever had was triggered when I tried to ride a chocobo.
Next thing I knew I was hundreds of feet in the air on the back of a massive eagle.

Edited 2017-10-01 23:14 (UTC)

That sounds rather fascinating, actually. Exhilarating, even. Did it feel like something familiar or something extraordinary?

It was pretty lovely, actually.
Flying so high like that can be both scary and really exhilarating, but I felt actually free for awhile.

I find myself envious. Most of my memories haven't been nearly so exciting.

Not all of mine have exactly been glamorous, either.
I doubt any of us has avoided getting a mixed package.

I don't think any of mine have been.

I see.

[ He sounds like he's been through one hell of a ride. ]

How many have you gotten?

Several. The thing that sits most heavily with me is my lack of agency during these moments.

What do you mean by that?
That, as its a memory, you can't control whats happening
or as a sword, you have little command over yourself?

Kasen Kaneda shared a photo. 9/20 near Home
San-ju-roku Kasen 三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women. And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand. I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had seen great violence. in their new memories.