retrospec | (no subject)

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Kasen Kaneda shared a photo.
9/20 near Home

San-ju-roku Kasen

三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry

My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women.

And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand.

I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had

seen great violence. in their new memories.

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In all honesty, it's never made sense to me, even when I learned about things like this in history lessons back home. The world of my ancestors seemed so needlessly cruel, and yet even this could not put this whole thing in perspective. What can one even do when they are not the executor of action, but the tool itself? Do I not have any will in this legacy of madness?

hey wait
can you explain a little?
about the tool thing
i mean i'm still not going to have anything to say that'll help but at least this part i can get, i think

-He could get being a tool? Kasen took a moment to digest that before replying, careful in how he chose his words.-

At first, I thought it was simply disassociation. But recent revelations in the visions granted us have made it abundantly clear that my previous self was not human. Or even a living being in the conventional sense at all. At least, this is the impression I have been given.

like a ghost
or a weapon
something like that maybe?

Like a sword.

[It's tragic that there's no real elegant way of saying "welcome to the club".]

yeah
that part i can get
a few of us can actually

I beg your pardon?

i know it sounds super nuts but there are a few of us like that
probably even more tbh i mean
there are a lot of people on the network and not everyone likes talking about this stuff you know?

-...-

I'm not sure what to say. Or really even how to feel about this. Though now that I think about it, a friend named Kenta mentioned your name to me before. Said you had photographs of another shared experience that, at the very least, the three of us recalled.

same tbh
but yeah i got some footage of a fight from back when we were split into groups and stuff
do you want me to send it to you?

There's part of me that doesn't want to see it. That it may confirm something I'm not yet ready to comprehend. But at this point, there's no sense in turning away from this truth.

[A pause, and then a video file transfer. When he chooses to watch it, the fight itself takes place in a fancy room and is clearly being filmed by someone else, since Kashuu is in the frame, fighting three possibly familiar creatures.]

take your time ok?
i get how it can be

-He does take his time. A whole day seems to pass before he responds, having taken a sleepless night to digest what he'd seen, and that it was as real as any of them, and that...

He wasn't alone.-

Those are the same creatures from my memories.

[He's seen everyone deal with this in their own way, so the pause isn't new. He wouldn't even be surprised if nothing was ever said, since he's run into a couple people who'd rather not face it head-on yet.]

they're called the historical retrograding force btw
in case you didn't remember that part yet

I had a vague recollection of their name. I remember being motivated to cut them down in order to protect Japan's rich history of art from being destroyed by whatever it is they wished to do. It seems like something out of a bad pulp novel.

yeah a lot of it is like that
spoilers it doesn't really start making much more sense either

I suppose that *is* too much to ask. Is there anything else you can tell me?

i know a few things yeah
stuff about how the swords work
what we are
what those guys are
a little about where we all used to live
anything in particular? all of it?

As much as you can, really. So much of this vexes me. But what particularly weighs on my soul is the conflict between my humanity and an apparent existence as a tool.

idk if i can help with that part because i still don't really get it
anyway
do you want to meet up at a cafe or something?
this seems like the kind of convo to have in person

That may be for the best. Do you have a preferred venue?

we can use the employee table at a good bean
no one should come back there so we can talk as long as we need to

Sounds like a plan. Is there a good time in particular?

i work today and tomorrow in the afternoon if you want to stop by after around 4
either day works for me

I can do that. Thank you, again, for the invitation.

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Kasen Kaneda shared a photo. 9/20 near Home
San-ju-roku Kasen 三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women. And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand. I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had seen great violence. in their new memories.