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Kasen Kaneda shared a photo.
9/20 near Home

San-ju-roku Kasen

三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry

My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women.

And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand.

I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had

seen great violence. in their new memories.

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Several. The thing that sits most heavily with me is my lack of agency during these moments.

What do you mean by that?
That, as its a memory, you can't control whats happening
or as a sword, you have little command over yourself?

A mix of both. A tool is at the mercy of the person who uses it, ultimately.

I get that feeling when I receive more intense memories.
Though I guess its a bit different for everyone.

Sometimes I don't know what my counterpart is doing, just that I can't make her do otherwise.
And even though I know I'm not her, its like our bodies and wills are the same, and I'm doing what she's doing.

Edited 2017-10-03 21:38 (UTC)

That is something I unfortunately cannot relate to. Though I wished all the world that I could.

Its not an easy feeling.
Its like I'm a puppet inside of a person.

I suppose that, despite what I said, it's impossible to tell which situation is worse. Having a melded will, or having none at all.

I think its different for everyone.

Then I can only say I do not care for my current situation very much.

Sorry.
I think I've dug into something uncomfortable now that I reread everything.

It's fine, really. I don't think there's much sense in keeping all of this bottled in.

I guess not.
Though I feel like I dumped some things on you.

Is that really so bad? Despite how things may seem, we are in this together, right?

It isn't, no.
I know for a fact talking with others on this is beneficial.

[ She's just not used to talking about this stuff with others. ]

I'm just usually the one people are letting these kinds of things out to.

Well I can talk more about myself, if that makes you more comfortable.

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Kasen Kaneda shared a photo. 9/20 near Home
San-ju-roku Kasen 三十六歌仙. The 36 Immortals of Poetry My namesake. 歌仙. I was named after these men and women. And that name, associated with these creators of beauty, was used to carry out an act grave brutality. All for some point I don't even understand. I could really use someone to talk to right now. Someone who has had seen great violence. in their new memories.