Lingering Worries

[standalonehuman]

Hitori Togusa 10/2 near Recolle Police Station

I've got a question, and I don't mean for it to scare people, because what I'm really looking for is proof that I'm wrong. If these other people, the ones Retrospec is giving us the memories of? Retrospec is also slowly giving us their bodies. A piece at a time, it seems. What if they were sick? Is it slowly going to happen to us, too? How can we help each other out if it does start happening? So that I'm not wasting everybody's time with this, though. I've been asking about Dr. James Halliday, a memory researcher a bunch of us came across the name of in August. Despite the fact that Retrospec seems to have been interested in his work, I don't think they're using it. It specialized in deep-brain stimulation, but I personally had a check done to see if there were any changes to my brain from being on the app for eight months now, and there's nothing. Just so we can rule that one out.

Comments

[standalonehuman]

Yeah, bet I know who's tried it...

For one of our healers out there, the best I can explain is that he feels the injury, takes the pain onto himself when he takes it away from someone else.

It's not fair to be protective of him, try to tell him he's not allowed to help people, but I worry anyway.

[lostapprentice]

that is unfortunate, but at least it's only temporary pain rather than the injury itself.

[He'd be up for having powers like those. It doesn't sound like that bad a trade off. Yeah, masochism!]

i understand not wanting him to overuse it, however. I think that would go for most "magic" or "powers" that we might get. nothing comes without a price.

[standalonehuman]

I misinterpreted it at first and thought that's what it was, that he was literally moving the injury from another person to himself. Maybe that's kept me watching over him, even though it's not turned out to be true.

Makes me wonder what price Retrospec is paying to give us these things.

[lostapprentice]

i hope they have to suffer as much as we do whenever they mess up our lives with things that should have been left in the past.

[standalonehuman]

I wouldn't wish that on all of them. Joanne, Maurice, they're too young. I don't know if they've gotten much of a choice but to work with Retrospec.

[lostapprentice]

everyone has a choice. if they're old enough to be talking with us like they have, they're old enough for us to hold them accountable.

[standalonehuman]

But maybe they didn't at one point.

Joanne Wiseman, her sister is Janet Wiseman, now Janet Halloway. When she and Maurice were talking, they mentioned that they had known each other since they were kids. Suggested that they had grown up with the company. Maybe it was Janet's choice that brought Joanne into this mess.

So, I'm hesitant to lay blame at Joanne's feet.

[lostapprentice]

i'll admit their communications have been far less aggravating than the others', but it doesn't mean i'm inclined to let them off the hook entirely.

they've still accepted their role in all of this.

[standalonehuman]

Whatever it is that Retrospec is trying to stop, it's enough to scare them into hiding so deep. If Maurice was to step out here? Would he forget everything? Turn into one of the normal people?

[lostapprentice]

you really think it's because they're scared? my assumption was that they couldn't be bothered to interact with the rest of us because of their ego.

[standalonehuman]

I think they're scared of whatever they're holding back. It's fear that'll drive you to something so desperate as to cut yourself off from the rest of the world, live apart from everyone else. They would lose something if they came out of the Retrospec HQ.

And, for some reason, having a higher security clearance in Retrospec seems to draw more of the 'unreality' towards people. We saw that firsthand.

[lostapprentice]

i'll continue to have doubts until i see proof of that myself.

how so? what did you see?

[standalonehuman]

When we entered one of the 'twists', we were all underwater. Retrospec could temporarily give two of us increased security clearance, as if we were employees. Koutarou and I didn't take it, and we got in and out with zero problem.

The two people who did take it kept drawing monsters to themselves, like piranha fish or pirate skeletons.

[lostapprentice]

security clearance. [Obviously there's more to it than just that—if what Togusa is saying is true, anyway.]

do you really think that was the only factor?

[standalonehuman]

I couldn't point to any other factor but luck, if you're talking about the difference between our experiences once we were inside.

Because we aren't sure what it actually means to have security clearance.

[lostapprentice]

wonderful. another annoying mystery that likely won't be solved for months, if that.

either way, i have little sympathy for them given what they've done to us without proper explanation.

[What Ren hates the most about all of it is how infuriatingly vague Retrospec has been. He would even be willing to accept the dangers that came with knowing if they just bothered to offer the option.]

[standalonehuman]

I get that, and I know you're not alone, so forgive me if I can still muster up some sympathy for them. Even as I keep getting impossibly frustrated by their methods. I just can't lose sight of the fact that it's still a bunch of people. Probably scared people. Which is comforting and frightening at once.

[lostapprentice]

just know i'm going to think you're an idiot for it.

[But it's not like Togusa is the first person Ren thinks of that way, and he certainly won't be the last.]

either way i suppose it doesn't matter. the danger we face is the same regardless of who's causing it.

[standalonehuman]

Fair. I'm willing to accept that.

You're very right, though. I wish there was some way to get ahead of the game. If Retrospec would tell us what they know. What some of us can hope to expect, or fear for.

[lostapprentice]

and so we're back to the problem of retrospec in particular and the issue of not even giving us the option of an explanation.

[standalonehuman]

So what do we do from here? How do we combat this feeling of not having any control over our situations? Most people are trying to focus on their regular lives, just a day at a time. But, how else do we get some normality back? I think that's really the big question.

[lostapprentice]

if there's one thing that's obvious, it's that there's no such thing as normal anymore. the only way i see anything returning to "normal" is when we actually get that control back.

but my coping methods tend to involve violence, so perhaps i'm not the person to be asking.

[standalonehuman]

Interesting. But I haven't come across your name officially anywhere, so those 'coping methods' are going to have to involve a boxing ring or those meetings down at Tatsuo Kihara's dojo every Sunday, I am so hoping.

[lostapprentice]

[ha ha ha ha ha]

you won't be seeing it if i have anything to say about it.

[For a few reasons. For instance, that his ID doesn't exactly say Ben Solo on it. Guess who's legally been declared dead several states over!]

but yes, i've been attending the dojo, as i've finally remembered how to wield a sword. or the science fiction equivalent, anyway.

[standalonehuman]

I'll have to trust you in their hands. Most people who joke about violent tendencies are people I run across later.

I'm hoping you're as young as you seem, and you won't fall into that trap.