retrospec | Lingering Worries

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Lingering Worries

Hitori Togusa
10/2 near Recolle Police Station
I've got a question, and I don't mean for it to scare people, because what I'm really looking for is proof that I'm wrong.
If these other people, the ones Retrospec is giving us the memories of? Retrospec is also slowly giving us their bodies. A piece at a time, it seems.
What if they were sick? Is it slowly going to happen to us, too?
How can we help each other out if it does start happening?

So that I'm not wasting everybody's time with this, though. I've been asking about Dr. James Halliday, a memory researcher a bunch of us came across the name of in August. Despite the fact that Retrospec seems to have been interested in his work, I don't think they're using it.
It specialized in deep-brain stimulation, but I personally had a check done to see if there were any changes to my brain from being on the app for eight months now, and there's nothing.
Just so we can rule that one out.

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I hate to say it but I'm starting to suspect their goal is recreation of all the conditions involved, not recreation plus improvement.

I don't know if you were aware but they were willing to take a young lady's eye recently. Unless she gets a fancy replacement or special powers from this experience they simply took it for the sake of recreating a wound the "Other Her" experienced. What's to keep them from... taking someone's ability to walk next? [ Or you know, their sight? If Matt sounds upset despite the calm coating his voice it's not just Togusa's imagination. ]

Togusa, do you mind me asking what inspired this question? It's definitely worth looking into I just- [ He pauses, bites his lip as he thinks on how to put this. ] Were you made aware of someone whose memory counterpart has a condition or injury that they don't?

[Togusa's response turns private. There is no way he is making this public.]

"I'm sorry to bring it up. But yes, I saw that post. That was definitely one of the things that started this."

"I-" Togusa cuts himself off. "I have the opposite. An injury, that popped up and I have no idea how I got it. Somehow seeing the scar wasn't enough to trigger the memory."

"But there is someone. Don't ask me to reveal who it is, please. I don't want to betray their trust." His voice is quite tense.

It's fine, you don't have to give any names. [ Secrets are a part of both their careers. Matt had 'privacy is of the utmost importance' drilled into his head all throughout law school. That and Togusa just plain sounds... uncomfortable. ]

I didn't realize that they can give people completely healed and scarred injuries. Growing something new or inflicting a fresh wound made some sort of sense but... All that trouble to create a scar? Are we talking about a particularly large scar?

[There is a very long pause, maybe so long that it almost seems like he's disconnected, before Togusa gets up the courage to say it out loud.]

"Gunshot wound to the chest. Entry and exit. Grell said it probably shouldn't have killed-" quick fix of what he was about to say, "the guy who got it. Because she could see that he got medical attention very quickly."

Very soft, "But I've never been shot."

[ Matt sits back in his chair, blinking in surprise, then squeezing his eyes closed and taking a deep breath. That's really something to take in. How does a person wrap their head around a would be injury that both did and did not happen? ]

I'm sorry. That has to be hard to process. A scar like that is... Well I imagine it was a life changing experience for the other man.

"Yeah," Togusa agrees. "I've been keeping it quiet, though. Just- I don't know if it's something positive. Most of the guys that get injured on the job, it's something to be proud of. A cost that came at a price that was worth it. They'll have a whole story about how they were protecting someone, or they took the other guy down with them."

"If I don't know how it happened? I don't want the false praise."

Of course. I don't think anyone will be upset or accuse you of "cheating" as long as you aren't bragging. And I know you're not that type of guy to begin with.

Most of the people working in the department with you have the app as well. They'll understand the situation.

"Fynn gets it, you know? I had to call him when it happened, ask him to cover for me so I could go to the hospital, and he was concerned more than anything."

Togusa sighs deeply. "But that's the sort of thing that Retrospec is capable of. I wish I knew how, or even why. If what you want is the other person, why not, I don't even know, why not choose not to hurt them or cripple them in the process?"

"Early on, there was a young lady who had lost her arm in an accident years ago. And she got it back, thanks to Retrospec. At the time, I'm embarrassed to say I started thinking what Retrospec was up to was good."

I would have thought that Retrospec was here to do good too hearing that someone was healed like that. Maybe- Maybe they're really like many powerful companies and organizations are. Secretive, ultimately self-serving but sometimes they do a little charity. A mix of good and bad.

And I don't know about you but I don't want to try convincing the teens on the app that their cool newfound super powers are a bad thing. That's just asking for a headache.

... I definitely agree with you about the decision to wound and scar people. Why attempt to restore the other people if you're not going to restore them to good health? You don't rebuild an old car and use bad parts if you want to drive it.

Togusa lets out a wry laugh when Matt suggests that asking teenagers to be reasonable is drawing trouble. “Too late...” He shakes his head.

“At least, can we ask that if you’re trying out the fact that you can shoot fireballs now, do it somewhere safe? Or realize that if you do test it out on someone, we’ll come after you anyway?” Togusa sighs.

“I know some people that would argue against the car analogy. But I get what you mean. If you want a backup force to defend the city like in August? Why cripple us?”

It's great that they can practice at the dojo though I wonder at times if there's a risk of damage to the building with some of the powers people are getting. We might need to establish a safe practice space outdoors.

If they wanted a fighting force they didn't pick the cream of the crop either. Not everyone has the memories of a fighter or someone with support skills. Unless for some reason they had to draw at random? ...That begs the question of how much Retrospec knows about the "others" from the memories. The randomization also seems to support the idea that the other people are or were real.

[ His voice gets gruffer with that last thought. He still fights against accepting the memories as true events. ]

"The other people we're seeing in memories, like the people who would have interacted with the people we're remembering?"

Togusa pauses for too long after that. It's not his own memory that has convinced him that these people would have to be real, but it's the very same person who has prompted this post in the first place. He can't look Koutarou in the eye and tell him that the woman he remembers loving was never real.

"There's- I saw someone that the other Togusa worked with. His former partner, Yamaguchi. Someone else, Pazu?" Togusa shakes his head. "If the people we are remembering were real, the others should be, too."

That begs the question... Are there people that resemble all of them out there somewhere? My niece shares memories with several of her classmates and a teacher. And that implies that everyone else in those memories should have a counterpart out there somewhere.

The odd thing about that theory is not only how or why Retrospec chose the app users they have but... I've heard vastly different memory descriptions from different people. It's difficult to believe all of the stories match up to one Earth, if that makes sense.

"I'm with you on that one," Togusa's voice perks up. "I've had people describe worlds that can't be Earth. Or, even, oh geez, what was the name Fynn said he'd remembered? Cocoon? That's the place that a good number of people seem to be coming from."

This is not true, but Togusa is still working on the assumption that Fynn and Ardyn had to be brothers in their other lives and then there are a lot of people sharing memories with Ardyn so it all works out and shhhh, just let him have this okay?

Multiple worlds are involved then. And multiple worlds had been accessed by Retrospec when they sent people to fix their reality problem before. Maybe it the tears were more than a quick form of teleportation between planets. Maybe it was dimensional travel. The fact reality instead of space had been mentioned made it all the more suspect.

"Could this be... proof of a Multiverse? Do we have any reason to believe the Other Selves aren't alive and well in their own worlds right now? In simplest terms, another version of each of us from a different dimension."

The deep groan with tones of whining on the end of it that Togusa lets out should give Matt all the information he needs about what Togusa thinks of this theory. He thunks his head on the chair behind him. "This is one too many maybes for me!"

"Multiverse theory, that's- what, that thing out of science fiction that says any world that could exist does exist? Before you even get into the physics aspect of it, philosophically, I'm still going to argue that a quote, version of us, on a different world has had different experiences, a whole different life. It's a different person, which is one of the things I've been trying to argue with Retrospec this whole time."

"I was thinking more along the lines of multiple universes, not necessarily the existence of every silly idea someone can imagine. I wouldn't call the Others the same people either. Different versions mean different people."

"Okay. So. A lot of different possibilities, but not everything. So. Multiverse within reason?" Fuck, just thinking about this hurts.

"So, okay, let's say this is correct. Big leap. But I'll go along for a thought experiment." The fact that Togusa is even willing to relent that much is a huge step. "What ties the Matt of this world to the Matt in some other universe? How is it different versions of the same person? Does he still live in Recolle, 2017?"

"I know he lives in a modern city. I don't know which one. Then again if there are multiple Matt's then there could be a large number of them living a very similar life in Recolle or another city. What is so special about that specific Matt that Retrospec wants to give me his memories and qualities?"

Well. He can think of a couple reasons this Other Matt would be considered "a special" individual.

"That brings us back to the subject of unusual abilities. This Other Matt had talents I still don't fully understand but valuable skills nonetheless in the right circumstances. Retrospec has chosen a large number of users with super powers and other dangerous skills."

More than just the two Matts, or the two Togusas. Togusa has switched his phone to speaker at this point and is using both hands to rub at his temples. "I'll agree with that last statement. It's disconcerting. Most mild way I can put it."

His eyes close, and he is thinking back over what Matt has said, and the words come out suddenly, "What kind of talents?" That might be the important part. "And how dangerous? You think you're going to be okay if they suddenly pop up?"

"I'm still trying to figure out out a large part of it but this is what I do know... Other Matt has some sort of martial arts skills and he moves very effectively. He might possess some sort of acrobatic skill." That was the easy half of it. Now for the really weird part. Matt tried to explain it before to Tatsuo and Derek but all three of them were left stumped.

"I think he's blind like I am. The memories don't look like a world seen with eyesight. He doesn't see color or the writing on signs. But he still sees somehow. He must have some kind of unnatural power. From an alleyway he sees the couple walking together half a block away. He knows there's what the man in the building he's standing next to is listening to on the radio and that there are rats crawling in the walls and pigeons sleeping on the roof. Every memory is an overwhelming flood of information."

Togusa is very quiet for a long time, before he speaks up. "I saw a memory of a man with cybernetic eyes. They were- not just a visor, but mechanical units that went over where his eyes should be. I don't know if he could see on his own."

"But I'll admit I wondered what the world looked like to him. How could a machine simulate everything the brain does for us to see? Would it be even sharper vision in some ways, but missing information in others?" The suggestion Togusa is making is too clear to point out.

"I did joke around that I might be getting a pair of robot eyes in the mail. Scary red glowing ones of course," Matt says with a snort. "You'd think cybernetic eyes would include everything a regular camera can pick up which looks very much like normal human sight. I'm not sure why that basic form of vision would be left out of that tech. Maybe it's not mechanical after all."

"In all seriousness, if you get any indication that those are a thing in the world Retrospec is trying to show you? Apparently I'm the guy to bounce it off of. I haven't talked to too many other people with that possibility." A pause. "Yin- ah, Jinying, on the network, but Yin, she's one."

"Maybe it isn't mechanical. Maybe any machine has to still work off of whatever organic component is left." Togusa ponders. "As you said, if the wire is cut, how much vision would be able to be restored in your case?"

"True. Technology isn't necessarily a perfect fix. I don't actually know why the Other Guy is blind yet. It could have been from a different type of injury or he might have been born that way. Without that knowledge I can't be absolutely sure about his options. I'll have to wait and find out more about the technology that was available in that world. So far it seems pretty close to our own world."

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Lingering Worries

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