retrospec | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Rosalind Lutece shared a photo.
11/10 near Viea Village

Well. Unless someone else has gotten an entire house from Retrospec, I rather think I win. In bragging rights, if nothing else.

[There's a pause, and then Rosalind adds a few photos: these ones, specifically, that I'll link so I don't spam yall. also ETA: there's no wires or pipes and certainly no giant machine in the midst of all this; it's just an ordinary house. ...with a giant hole in the second floor.]

That being said: points off for the giant gaping hole in the second floor.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mostly around the full moon. You tend to get aggressive around that time, have you noticed? Most possessive, more aggressive, more eager to dominate . . . I suspect you'd see that pattern if you were fighting regularly too.

Are we so sure I'm really a kitsune? Put like that, it almost sounds more like I'm a werewolf.

Nonsense. You've bitten me plenty of times, and yet I've never once changed into an equivalent form, have I?

Are there even female kitsune?

Oh, absolutely. Some of the oldest kitsune stories involve them changing into beautiful women and becoming the wives of human men.

Well, you're not human. And I don't know about marriage just yet. But I could fulfill the rest of that, I think, fairly easily enough. It might be fun, getting to be taller.

...I'm at least somewhat human...

You're as human as I am, I should think.

[Which is to say: mostly, but not quite.]

It's just not something I'd want to lose, if I could help it. The right to still call myself human, in some capacity.

I know.

It was a thoughtless comment. But I wouldn't say you've lost that right.

I know. It's all right — just something I think about, that's all.

Often?

Occasionally. Usually after moments when I've found it's been more convenient to be Youko, somehow.

Has that happened often when I'm not around? I think I have a bit of a biased view on that; he usually comes around primarily when I need to reach things off the top shelf.

[And other times, naturally, but who's counting.]

When you're not around to ogle him, you mean?

Yes, those times.

[and then, right on the heels of that:]

I don't /ogle/ him.

What verb would you use in its place, then?

I /appreciate/ him.

Stop dodging the question.

Of course you do.

And it's usually when I'm feeling...mm. Not upset, exactly, but...more emotionally volatile than I might like? Whatever I am when I'm him, "emotionally volatile" certainly isn't one of them.

[. . .]

So he's a way to escape your feelings? Or at least, temper them down into something manageable.

To cope with them in some manner, yes. As though he's just another tool in my toolbox — dancing, drinking, sleeping...or Youko.

[There's a little pause, and then:]

Be careful in relying on him solely for that. You dance and drink and sleep for reasons other than coping, and so you have more associations than just emotional distance. But Youko is still relatively new . . . and what you associate with him now might last you ages.

In other words, I should be careful not to ONLY become someone else when its particularly difficult to be myself?

Precisely so. What memories you've received aren't entirely negative, but there are a few that are overwhelmingly distressing, adding to your association. So if you were to only become him when you felt upset, or angry, or in some way overwhelmed . . . I should think it would be easy to regard him as nothing more than an amalgam of all the negative emotions you feel. A relief, yes, but still the one you think of only when you're upset.

And I think it would be quite harmful for you in the long run, to associate a part of yourself that way.

Would you suggest I seek to remedy that by becoming him sometime when I'm happiest, as well?

I would suggest a variety of emotions, mostly spanning the positive. Happiest, yes, and excited, and content . . . any variation, really, so long as you get the association.

If I'm involved, it would be a lovely bonus.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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