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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ need. You are one of the few ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ We encourage you to explore our many options. Our HR staff ̡̨̨̨̡̧̹͉̹͉̞̪̮͙͉̟͔͉͎͎̤̹͙͉̟̱̠̻͚͎͔͉̤͚͇̳̘̭̩͇͕͔͜ͅị̷̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̛̛̹͈̙̹̼̼̱̱͓͓̱͎͚̝͚̥͕̻͇͎̖̘̪̭̼̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙̾̄̃̒̾̎͆͆̈́̑͊̋͌̀̑̌̆̽͌͑͆̽͛̀̀͋̔͊̃̾̾̃̂͆̀̍̽̏̀̃̚͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅç̶̨̨̨̛̛̼͈͖͔̼̖̙͕͍̟͇̤̩̳͇̳̰̤͓̳̱͍̻̖̼̩͉̜͎̹͖̺̯̣͔̗̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀́̋̽̿͑̽͑̋͗͋͌͗͗̅̒̐͒͆̒̎͒͋̀͋̾͛͌̽̒̉̽̌̈̉̀͋͐̆̽̅̉̐͆͑̓̑͛͋̀̓͋̒͌͒͌͒̈́̔̽͒̚͘͘̚̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͝͝e̷̒͑̄͒͂̑̆̂̈́̕new features. If ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ one new feature for Retrospec™, ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅe winning ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅprize. ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝remember? ̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙c̶̛̛̔̍͛̌̿̈̈̿̑͆̓̔̎͋̍̐̋͑͗̿̃̈́̆͌͒̐͋͆̓̑̎̉͂͛̍͋̔̎̈́́̍̆͊̇̄͗̃̌́̐̈͋͆̄̀̚͘͘̚͠͠͠͠͝ ̧̡̧̡̡̨̢̻̘̘͓͇̻̗̗̺̹̩̳̤̞̱͙͈̗̫̟͙̫̟̙͖͓̩͇̻̜̦͚̲̱̫̳͈̖͇̱̠̞̺̤͚͙̪̳̲̪̗̻̞̰̻̻̖͈̟̠̰̝̹̟̩̯͕̬̭̭̟̙͚͙̩̙̣͈̫̪̮͓͙͜ͅ Users, for your continued patronage! Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for one month will find they can now change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. Upon opening this entry at all, characters will find themselves spammed with notifications and strange glitched texts until they make some sort of suggestion for a new application feature on the Retrospec app. This can range from a personalized friends list to a watermelon image gallery to a watergun charging station. It doesn't have to make sense or be useful - it just has to be a suggestion, at which point the application will return to normal.

Comments

[true_noir]

Oh, Iris, I think we both know that they will never do any of those things. I dare say that I won't believe it if someone claims that elevator started working properly.

[borntoolate]

Did you get stuck in there too?
I didn't even try the elevator.
Don't people always say to use the stairs in emergencies?

[true_noir]

Twice, and the second time I had a weird vision that I still don't fully understand. Someone told me the elevator panel doesn't even lead to anything, like it is just looks like an elevator door. It's like it is a room that looks like it's supposed to look, but isn't actually anything like that.

[borntoolate]

Wait.
You had a vision?
And the elevator is fake?
This is starting to sound like a super weird horror movie.

[true_noir]

I've had two, actually. Nothing sinister, just visions of vacations I apparently took and then forgot about, to places I would never have forgotten. And now retrospec has apparently mailed me something.

A fondue fork.

If this is a horror, I am extremely nervous.

[borntoolate]

A fondue fork?
What's up with that?
I didn't get a vision or a mystery prize.
I don't know whether I'm relieved or jealous.

[true_noir]

Yes, a bona fide fondue fork, little and metal and plain. There's nothing special about it. It was just a package from Retrospec, with the fork inside. No notes, no explanations.

And it feels familiar somehow, so I don't want to let it out of my sight, which is even odder. I don't know that you would want any of this, Iris. It's all very confusing.

[borntoolate]

Maybe not.
But it's hard to resist the allure of a mystery prize.

[true_noir]

Perhaps you will receive a strange package from Retrospec in the mail. If we both get one again, we could each open each other's gifts and stare in wonder.

[Probably not a good idea. Chloe was eventually going to start finding copious amounts of throwing knives.]

[borntoolate]

No way.
If I get a mystery gift, I'm opening it right away.
I'll send you pics though.

[true_noir]

An acceptable compromise. I hate to say that I will look forward to it, as I have many suspicions about these as is. But perhaps it will be something interesting, no?

[borntoolate]

A girl can dream.
But if they gave you a fondue fork then I might get a waffle iron or something.

[true_noir]

It is quite possible. If I begin to get a cutlery collection one at a time, I will be convinced that they are weird and generous, if not insane themselves, so why should you no have a waffle iron?

[She's totally thinking of buying Iris one now.]

[borntoolate]

Maybe they're sending you a fondue set.
One piece at a time.
Hey if they complete the set you should have a fondue party!
And invite me.

[true_noir]

I do have a set already, but yes. Let us use this as an excuse. If they send a full set over, we will have a fondue party.

And in the meantime, I will still invite you for fondue or tea regardless. A win win.

[borntoolate]

Sweet!
And if I get that waffle iron maybe we can have a waffle party.
Or something.

[true_noir]

(OOC: Continued here)