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[recollecters]

Welcome to Retrospec™, the last social media network you will ever need. You are one of the few selected to test this exciting new platform based on our cutting-edge algorithms. Less than two hundred invitations have gone out, and membership is not currently open to the public. However, we hope you will come to see how useful Retrospec™ is, given time. We have for your use a variety of features such as text, voice, video, and image posts. We encourage you to explore our many options. Anyway, now that the copypaste part is out of the way! Jim here, requesting you guys make your secret meetings a little more exciting. It's not like you're not trying with the whole "let's meet off the network!" dealio, but I have some serious concerns. For one thing, no secret handshakes or phrases? Not even dramatic meeting locations? The trying rating is about half a star if that. And I'm almost bored to tears with the whole back and forth about what's going on. Not bored enough to give you a cheat sheet, but still. I can't get myself taken off surveillance duty, so at least try to make it a little more exciting! You guys might like this wikihow. Later! Jim Halloway Research & Development Retrspec Incorporated Please feel free to use this post as a network mingle. Every toplevel can be considered a new post, and threadjacking is permitted. No NPC response will be given. Usernames are the character's full real AU names, not aliases or chosen nicknames or usernames, and seemed to have filled themselves in; nothing characters do can change or obscure their names currently. Characters who have been in game for more than one month will find they can change their profile pictures; newcomers are locked into their first choice. At various points throughout the day users will be sent images of themselves from behind, regardless of where they are. There doesn't seem to be any way to catch whoever might be taking and sending these, however, especially since being alone in a room doesn't seem to be a deterrent. This post is an overflow from the original post here. Feel free to either carry over threads from there or create entirely new ones.

Comments

Karkat

[true_noir]

(OOC: From here)

Whatever will I do without a signed, autographed and monogrammed piece of paper by you to mount on my wall? My life will be a sham, a pitiful husk of what could have been without your personal approval of myself as somehow worse than Jim Halloway. I am almost tempted to outdo him.

[Not in the slightest. All talk and hyperbole, but it sounded funny to mock Jim by proxy right now.]

Though I suppose getting rid of the competition also works.

[alienates]

Honestly I am pretty sure getting rid of him would do absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things in the Retrospec chain of fuckery.
But I would feel a lot better because fuck Jim.
Also everyone should strive to earn my approval because it is the only thing that matters in the end.

[true_noir]

I am afraid that you are right, even if it would feel very very good to do it. I don't want you to be right, but I think you are.

And, so you say, so you say. But how can I earn the approval, the notice or the adulation of the all great and wise Karkat Vantas, dispenser of practical wisdom? That feels like the makings of quite a quest of virtue and trial.

[alienates]

I am definitely right here.
If this is supposed to be some mysterious company then they wouldn't show off the final boss right away.
Although if Jim is like some secret boss then it would make sense, I guess.

You have to pass a series of trials of varying difficulty levels.

[true_noir]

You make this sound like a video game. But, if we think about that Pac Man game they made us play, it was always the same villains, yes?

Very well, throw the first of these horrible and grueling trials my way. I will surpass whatever you have for me.

[She was just bored enough to play along. Besides, beating his tests usually gave a chance to tease him more, so... win win.]

[alienates]

Your first take is to get Yu Narukami to say that he dislikes cats.
If you don't do this and provide proof of it, you cannot advance to the next tier.

[true_noir]

A challenge is it? Very well. I can manage something like that. I will net this fabled next tier soon enough.

[alienates]

I won't be implementing a time limit either, so consider yourself lucky in that regard.

[true_noir]

And if I were to place a wager? You will also not remember this little dare of yours when I come and bring you proof. But I am used to it. It's all part of the charm of getting your attention.

[alienates]

WOW
How dare you imply that I am a cheater??
You just sound like someone who already knows that you won't be able to accomplish this so you're trying to discredit me early.

[true_noir]

Now, did I say cheater? Oh no, those are your words condemning you, Karkat. No, I wouldn't say you're a cheater at all, but you do seem to forget our little plans sometimes. But don't worry, you'll have your video soon enough, and if you forget this challenge, I will simply "rub it in your face" a little as my prize for saying I told you so?

[Excuse her, she's totally going to cheat and try to convince Yu to be a co-conspirator on this.]

[alienates]

Good fucking luck.
And even if you somehow pass this stage, the next one is going to be something harder.
That's the whole point of tasks, dude. The difficulty level goes UP.

[true_noir]

Well, of course! This is meant to be like the tests of Heracles, is it not? Ever harder until you are sure I couldn't possibly do it, with no actual reward other than your grudging approval as I leap through your hoops?

Yes, I believe I understand the game.

[alienates]

I mean you won't be leaping through them.
You will stumble and fall embarrassingly on your face, until you have no choice but to stop and go back, your metaphorical tail between your legs.

[true_noir]

Keep telling yourself that, even if it will end up being you with the tail between your legs in the long run. I'm going to look forward to the annoyed look of irritation when I start beating your challenges.

[alienates]

I am ending this conversation now because I am getting a lot of secondhand embarrassment watching you hype yourself up even though it's just going to end in critical failure.

[true_noir]

[And she was willing to let the conversation end right before she laughed at it again and went off to convince Yu to be a co-conspirator, because she was entirely entitled to cheat on this one.]