04 | swipe left for what you need, swipe right for what you want

[elevelvetor]

hello once again, fellow users!
this time i bring neither a game, play, nor incredibly true public service announcement about a friend.
nay, this time i am here to...

MAKE A MATCH

not for myself, however, but for a woman who's been very kind to me.
i'd like to give back to her somehow, and i decided finding her company for the holidays would be fitting...
regardless, let me begin. i hope you will at least consider this advertisement for a rather noble lady.

she is very beautiful, kind, strong in every way imaginable, and completely unafraid of werellamas. she's also on the older side of things, offering an intelligent and mature viewpoint on any discussion you may have.
that doesn't mean she's boring, however. far from it! i can personally attest to having more fun with her than i have had with most people her age...
her favorite time of day is actually the night, when the stars come out and constellations glitter endlessly above, and everything is aglow thanks to the moon's dim light.
she's also quite magnanimous, acquiescing to even the simplest requests... as long as they're harmless, of course.

as far as preferences go, she likes handsome men and pretty women, with charming and intelligent minds... and an air of mystery and danger about them, without diving into actual criminal activity. unfortunately for our younger people, she'd like all serious relationships to be with those thirty and over.

please reply with an inquiries, offers, or recommendations if you have them.
thank you for taking the time to read as well. please accept this video as a token of my gratitude.

Comments

[liberal_arts]

Lack of capitalization aside, this is actually pretty well written. I'm certain people would even be willing to pay for this level of service in creating a personal advert.

[floret]

Thank you for the video!

[devilsadvocato]

Quick question. What's a werellama? Is is a person who turns into a llama or a llama that becomes wolf-like? Or a person who become a wolf-like llama?

[elevelvetor]

[ that second one manages to sound more terrifying that the truth. ]

the first. though i would have called him a llamaman myself, if he were not more llama than man.

[elevelvetor]

of course. it is one of my recent favorites and i wanted to share it.

[elevelvetor]

thank you, though i would never charge regardless of if i wished to do something like this again.

[ ...she's just not smarting for money. ]

[liberal_arts]

All artists should be paid, but I understand. And your friend sounds like a rather lovely person, all things considered. I know how difficult it can be at our age to handle the whole dating scene.

[compendiem]

Sounds too good to be true. Sure this is not for yourself?

[elevelvetor]

[ dating profiles aren't an art....!! in her mind. ]

i'd imagine so. most of the users i've met are closer to my age than not... i wonder why that is?

[liberal_arts]

Oh I'm sure it's merely a coincidence, in the end. After all, some of us don't even match the age of our 'other selves', so it doesn't seem to mean much.

[elevelvetor]

i'm flattered, but not at all. i wouldn't deserve a whole post for myself in the slightest.

[ .......wait, more importantly— ]

i am also taken, so there's not a particular need for it.

[ this is a recent development and she hasn't really told anyone anyway and nothing's really changed so she keeps... forgetting..... ]

[compendiem]

Hm. I think you'd deserve glitter text and several paragraphs lauding your person. Especially going this far for a friend. How is she still single?

[megatechbody]

She sounds positively charming. I'm hoping that Private Investigator would suffice for mystery and danger?

[devilsadvocato]

Wow was this something in a memory or did you actually meet this guy?

[elevelvetor]

unfortunately, he was very much part of my present life.

[elevelvetor]

is that so? most people i've met are closer to their age...
though i suppose i'm not really certain how old my other self is.
she doesn't look much older than i am, so i assume she's somewhere around there as well
are you speaking from experience, sir?

[elevelvetor]

that's quite simple!
she's actually a rather shy person. friendly and wonderful and a lover of pets, but awfully, terribly shy.
in fact, she wouldn't even agree to my doing this for her unless i took her name out of the equation.

[compendiem]

Would a shy person be amenable to meeting up with what's essentially a stranger?

[elevelvetor]

according to my esteemed colleague, naturally.
are you one such investigator, or do you have a friend to offer?

[elevelvetor]

she'll have to be.
she already agreed to let me do this, after all.

[ ...she may have accidentally guilted her into agreeing to this. Slightly. ]

[compendiem]

I see. I don't know about shy, then. It's a bolder move than I would make.

[elevelvetor]

ah, so you're not as easy to persuade into this sort of thing as she is.
a shame. i was looking forward to writing your dating profile.

[ ...she's probably joking. ]

[compendiem]

It'd be a blank profile aside from the glitter text.

[elevelvetor]

it absolutely wouldn't be.

[compendiem]

And an animal video. I request sea jellies if possible.