text; can you let me out? can you set me free from this dark inner world?

[truedetective]

[Why, what is this text message going out in the middle of the night?

It's someone who's hoping that not only will everyone be consumed with larger matters of what's happening in the world around them, but who will be fast asleep and not get this.

She knows she has to do this. She knows she needs to be honest with everyone, that she can't keep just hiding behind her assumed identity anymore.

It doesn't mean Naoto has to like it.]

"To thine own self be true." It's kind of a cliche saying at this point.
That doesn't make it inaccurate.

I can't think of any subtle or sensitive way to say this, so I might as well just be blunt: I've been keeping a secret from everyone as long as I've been living in this city. I haven't been honest.
While I've been outwardly presenting as male for quite some time now, I am-- and have always been-- a girl.

I apologize to anyone who feels that I've lied to them or deceived them. I'm sorry.
I hope this won't lead any of you to think differently of me, but that may be asking too much.

Good night.

[She hits send, and immediately regrets doing this at all. Oh god, this was a mistake.]

Comments

[truedetective]

I did. I've since had reason to reconsider. To take a long, objective look at it. I need to be more honest with myself-- and others.

[admiringly]

do you feel freer?
like a weight's been lifted?

[truedetective]

Honestly, not yet. Just a sense of dread that this was a mistake. I'm hoping the weight being lifted will come later.

[admiringly]

i don't know if this will help you at all but i don't think that your honesty is a mistake
i think it's a good thing
it's a step that you thought about and you want to take right?
maybe if you take a couple more steps you'll be able to lift it yourself?

[truedetective]

It just feels too raw at the moment.
Like an exposed nerve. Like I'm having to saw a limb off to escape a trap, and perhaps I'll be better off for it later, but it's exceedingly uncomfortable at the moment.

That was... maybe a little melodramatic.

I hope you're right. I will do my best.

[admiringly]

if you feel that strongly about it that you needed to describe it that way that's ok
you should express yourself
you should be yourself in the way you think is best
i'll be cheering you on naoto

[truedetective]

Thank you, Chiyo. I will try. I think I need to figure out who "myself" is.

[admiringly]

you'll get there
figuring things out is one of the things you do best isn't it?
i believe in you

[truedetective]

Detective work is a little easier.
Thank you, Chiyo.
I really do appreciate it.

[admiringly]

you just have to detect things about yourself!
it's different but i know you'll find your truth

[truedetective]

Ha.
That's a pretty funny way of looking at it, actually.

I'll certainly try.