text; can you let me out? can you set me free from this dark inner world?

[truedetective]

[Why, what is this text message going out in the middle of the night?

It's someone who's hoping that not only will everyone be consumed with larger matters of what's happening in the world around them, but who will be fast asleep and not get this.

She knows she has to do this. She knows she needs to be honest with everyone, that she can't keep just hiding behind her assumed identity anymore.

It doesn't mean Naoto has to like it.]

"To thine own self be true." It's kind of a cliche saying at this point.
That doesn't make it inaccurate.

I can't think of any subtle or sensitive way to say this, so I might as well just be blunt: I've been keeping a secret from everyone as long as I've been living in this city. I haven't been honest.
While I've been outwardly presenting as male for quite some time now, I am-- and have always been-- a girl.

I apologize to anyone who feels that I've lied to them or deceived them. I'm sorry.
I hope this won't lead any of you to think differently of me, but that may be asking too much.

Good night.

[She hits send, and immediately regrets doing this at all. Oh god, this was a mistake.]

Comments

Private

[kagepuro]

I'm so proud of you, naoto

[redarm]

[ What is sleep when you can stay up at absurd hours of the night ]

oh
ok

so which pronouns should i use at school?

Private

[truedetective]

I hope I will be, too.
This feels like a mistake.

[cattack]

[Well. After October, Cleo'd known some stuff was up with Naoto in regards to that, but... It's odd to see her come clean like this.

She wonders if, somehow, she was forced into it...]

I'm glad you were comfortable enough to say it.
But are you all right?

[Cleo's not exactly close to Naoto, they don't exactly get along, but if Naoto was forced to come out about this somehow, she's going to fight someone.]

[truedetective]

I don't know. The teachers have known this whole time, of course; I couldn't exactly forge paperwork. I suppose female. That's the truth, after all.

[truedetective]

Completely? Not really. This feels dangerously exposed. Like a nerve being touched. But secrets get people hurt. I couldn't keep the pretense up for ever.

[redarm]

if thats what you want, ok.
you ok?

[truedetective]

Nervous. I feel exposed, doing this. I can't imagine everyone will be happy to learn they've been deceived.

Private

[standalonehuman]

This is what you were trying to tell me about obstacles.

We should talk. I'm not angry or disappointed. I'd still like to support you how I can. And this won't change things currently with the Department. But you're right that it does change things long term.

[kagepuro]

it's not

Do you remember when i told you that i wouldn't find you inspiring? As a woman? Because of how you shirked your identity

Well

You're really inspiring for finding the strength to do this

I mean that

[redarm]

[ Noah is a master in the school of "w/e idgaf about opinions", so- ]

so? if theyre pissed
they can just fucking deal.

pretty sure everyones got skeletons in their closets anyway.

[Noah sure has plenty he doesn't tell people]

private

[cattack]

Did something happen to force you?
After what happened in the fog, I'm worried.
And such a thing is your secret to keep, should you desire to.

[reaquila]

That's a huge secret to keep. I don't know you too well, but it takes a lot of courage to be honest.

Do you feel better after speaking up?

[truedetective]

Thank you. I don't feel inspiring right now, Ayano. I just feel a little nauseous. Like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and looking down. And I'm supposed to jump because there's something good at the bottom and I'll be better off for it. But it's still a cliff.

[truedetective]

That is an almost admirable dedication to not caring about others' opinions of you. Unfortunately, some people who I have not been forthright with include classmates, friends, and even people who can potentially torpedo my own career goals.

[truedetective]

Force? No. Nobody is forcing me to do this. As I said: Secrets get people hurt. This is for the best. Ultimately. I think.

[truedetective]

Yes. It is.

The precinct captain knows. He, at least, remembered that Ken Shirogane didn't have
a son, but a daughter.
It does change things with the others, though.

[kagepuro]

i would offer to come be with you but it's the middle of the night : (

You're doing great, though....

The truth is, you already jumped

[cattack]

I see...
I hope this goes well for you.
I'll be glad to have another woman around in the precinct, as well.

[truedetective]

I don't know.
I keep thinking it's a mistake, but one that can't be taken back.

I couldn't have kept the secret up forever, though. Pretending to be a late bloomer would only last so long.

[truedetective]

And the fall isn't much more reassuring, I can tell you. I'm sure this will end up for the best. I do believe that. But at the moment it feels overwhelming.

[truedetective]

I do too. The precinct captain knows. Even if I hadn't told him, he worked with my father. He knows Ken Shirogane didn't have a son, but a daughter.

[standalonehuman]

Does it, though? Does it have to change things now?

I can respect your decision to keep your biological gender a secret. I don't need to grill you for your reasons behind it. You only need to take a quick look around the gender ratio of the bullpen to know you'd face more difficulties coming out as a woman in this job. So before you think it, no, I don't blame you.

What made you decide to share this publicly?

[kagepuro]

it must be, i'm really sorry

I think most everyone is going to support you, though....

It's gonna be okay!

Just take some deep breaths and try to relax...i may not be there to hug you but kanji is!!

[redarm]

not really?
i mean you lied about your gender, but its not like you committed a crime.
youre still you.