A wish.

[livingimpaired]

[ The Holy Grail. He does not recall exactly what it is, but from what he gathers from the brief memory with the "King of Heroes," it is something to wish upon. And Kei's other self would allow that man to "wish for death." What does that mean? No, he understands it simply, but there is more said and unsaid than he can unravel. ]

With all this business going on, some frivolousness ponderings might be an enjoyable distraction.

Well, then. If you could wish for anything, what would it be? [ A pause. Kei thinks of sending it like that yet he feels that may be too telling. Too telling of what? He's uncertain, but adds more to cover up his uncertainty. ] Though, with Valentine's Day is coming, most are thinking of just wishing for someone to spend that day with, hm? :)

Comments

[livingimpaired]

It would be.
But you aren't wrong.

Who we meet. What we decide to do. What course our actions take. What others did for us. What others didn't do to us. It all piles together to simply be "luck."

[vitis]

[ ... mm. ]

how bout you? if you could wish for anything?

[livingimpaired]

I'd wish for nothing. Even if I could wish for anything, I'd ask for nothing. I'm afraid that I don't have any frivolous or serious things that I want. Not for myself and not for others.

I don't mean that I don't care about those that are my friends and wish them eternal happiness. But I could never take away the tribulations that have made them themselves either. They're who they are because of what they've triumphed over. There are those that they've met through their struggles and their smiles. Through all the hardships, there is light in them, and so I cannot think to wish to take that away.

I cannot wish to make the road ahead of them easier because they're the ones that made it easier for themselves with their own luck.

[vitis]

ain't that some high ground
i mean, not that i can't understand where you're coming from, at least in owning hardships. it's good that you're contented with however your friends turn out in the end.

is it nice, wanting for nothing like that?

[livingimpaired]

Is it? It feels fairly low to me.

No. It's not nice at all.
It honestly feels rather empty to me.
Which begs the question -- why don't I wish to change the emptiness, yes?

Well, your first idea of a wish was for everyone to choose their own course of happiness.
I could only honestly say there wasn't anything I wanted to change in the world that isn't already in motion by the actions of others.
And so to ask to fill up the emptiness inside of me when I could not think to wish something for others even out of a fake sense of goodwill is almost sinful.

[vitis]

i see.
well, if you believe that sort of nothingness is something you deserve, then there's not a whole lot helping that, is there?

[ he doesn't really know this man, and thus care to try, to even assert to the contrary, anyway. ]

it does all seem pretty self-defeatist to me.
but at least you have those morals, huh?

[livingimpaired]

Unfortunately, no.

And that's right.
Without morals, I may be in dire straits.
But they're in place and keep me out of trouble.

[vitis]

[ hm. ]

[ that does remind him of something— well, someone, more accurately. ]

that's good to hear.
been on the app, long? if you don't mind me asking.

[livingimpaired]

No, I'm afraid I'm very new.
Terribly and unfortunately new.
I hope you'll forgive some of my foolishness as I attempt to steady myself here.

[vitis]

no prob!
well, like i already said, retrospec tends not to be the kindest to people. so cheers to that unshakeable foundation at least, yeah?
who knows what sorta crap you'll eventually recall.

i'm john, by the way. nice to meet you

[livingimpaired]

Who knows, indeed?

Kei Shigaraki. It's nice to meet you as well, John.