A wish.

[livingimpaired]

[ The Holy Grail. He does not recall exactly what it is, but from what he gathers from the brief memory with the "King of Heroes," it is something to wish upon. And Kei's other self would allow that man to "wish for death." What does that mean? No, he understands it simply, but there is more said and unsaid than he can unravel. ]

With all this business going on, some frivolousness ponderings might be an enjoyable distraction.

Well, then. If you could wish for anything, what would it be? [ A pause. Kei thinks of sending it like that yet he feels that may be too telling. Too telling of what? He's uncertain, but adds more to cover up his uncertainty. ] Though, with Valentine's Day is coming, most are thinking of just wishing for someone to spend that day with, hm? :)

Comments

[drydrown]

Oh, do love yourself a little more than that, you're going to make me feel sorry for you.

Your fragile masculinity has my apologies, however, it won't happen again.

[livingimpaired]

I refuse.

Is it fragile? I merely don't like affectionate nicknames.

[drydrown]

Whether it's fragile or not, it is being at least somewhat baffling right now - is there a reason you refuse to be nice to yourself outside of being contrary?

[livingimpaired]

I don't like myself, but I don't hate myself. That's all there is to it.

[drydrown]

...No one utterly lacks an opinion on themselves.

[livingimpaired]

And I don't.

The way that I am isn't something that makes me happy or unhappy. It isn't anything that I like, but it isn't anything that I dislike since I am not suffering in any way due to it. I have such a painfully nihilistic view on life that I refuse to praise anything about myself.

But I'm also told I'm one of the most positive people others know. So, there's that.

[drydrown]

...So dislike is something that's solely reserved for that which causes suffering?

[livingimpaired]

Only in terms of personalities and actions. Though, I would change "dislike" to "hate" in that case.

[drydrown]

Hopefully you aren't in for any unfortunate surprises from your past life, then.

[livingimpaired]

[ BOY-- ]

I already had some, but I believe that I am on the path to correcting a few actions that lead to the unfortunate surprises.

[drydrown]

...Charming.

Best of luck with it, I suppose.

[livingimpaired]

Thank you for your insincere regards. I appreciate them all the same.

[drydrown]

I don't know what you expected. A fair amount of us were absolute winners in our past lives.

[livingimpaired]

I'm aware.

I don't expect sympathy or pity, at the very least. I'm only commenting on my own situation, and so there's no real need for you to do anything to console me on it. As I said, my nihilistic view on life is a negative even to myself.

[drydrown]

Take it as a formality, then, because it's a bit odd to say nothing.

[livingimpaired]

Are you feeling well?

I haven't known you long, but you seem like the sort that wouldn't worry about social constraints when speaking to an irritating person.

[drydrown]

It depends on the sort of annoyance, honestly.

[livingimpaired]

Have I leveled-up somehow?

[drydrown]

More like you're nowhere near the most irritating thing I've dealt with, and as such professional social courtesy can still be afforded, at least.

If you're trying to ensure that I won't bother at all, you're going to have to try a little harder. It was a valiant attempt, however. ♡

[livingimpaired]

Now I WILL accept that sincere compliment.

I truly had not been attempting to annoy or harass you. But it's nice to know that my general behavior toward other people is not as bad as others.

[drydrown]

Please. A good amount of my job is trying to convince my clients that they really don't want to open their mouths. You'd be surprised at the level of irritation that one can get used to on a daily basis.

But no, you're not that bad, I suppose. Albeit lacking a brain-to-mouth filter.

[livingimpaired]

I suppose that I would. I am someone who works at a restaurant and enjoy listening to whatever anyone has to say. It doesn't matter what it is, but if they're feeling the desire to speak to me honestly, I would never wish for them to feel like they should be silent.

If it makes you feel better, I was a reclusive individual until just recently. But I doubt I am going to fix my lack of filter anytime soon.

[drydrown]

Might I ask why the reclusiveness?

[livingimpaired]

You may. I like humanity quite a bit, as we have already discussed, but my view on my own life is so dangerously nihilistic that I found it best to avoid others rather than upset them.

And I say nihilistic but it is only because we have not come up with a better word for my views. I'm actually quite religious, for example, but I won't get into that with you. But just saying that I'm negative doesn't quite describe it. Nihilism puts a better image in your head, I'm sure, and so that is why I use that word.

In short, I recognize myself to be an odd person and avoided people so that I would not trouble them. I suppose I could have just written that, but oh well.

[drydrown]

I see what you mean about the negativity, anyway, because I wouldn't consider you to be such. More just rather...null? So I guess it gets the point across well enough.

That said, that's...interesting? A bit surprisingly self-sacrificing to something of an insipid degree, but interesting regardless.