005. Text // my world is unaffected

[manufactured]

It's been some time since Retrospec has properly dropped some sort of identity crisis on us, though I suppose it's good to know that we're getting a bit more information out of them now than we were in the past; I'm in no way looking down on small favors and silver linings. Just the same, I wonder for the time being where that leaves us - I know I've asked a few of you about this in the past, and I'm sure that a fair amount of you have made your decisions regarding it since.

I suppose what I want to hear is your thoughts on these people you're receiving memories of, whether you consider them "you" or otherwise - do you still think of them as a separate person from yourself or do you consider them to be the same as "you", and why you've come to feel that way. I'm not going to argue for feeling one way or another on the matter, I'm just wondering how you've come to see these people that technically don't exist anymore.

Of course, if you reject this entire matter completely and just consider this to be an example of some corporate entity you hate ruining your life for no apparent reason, that's likewise fair.

I've formed my own views on this fairly recently; I tend to find it calming, having some sort of conclusion that I can accept as reasonably true for the time being. It's not always convenient, but it's calming.

Comments

[manufactured]

Something that could have been, but ultimately isn't. I suppose that's fair.

You prefer that sort of distance from it, then?

[manufactured]

Do you think so?

[manufactured]

A version of you that existed, but doesn't anymore. Yet you don't seem to be distancing yourself from it as much as some of the others.

I think of it similarly, I suppose.

[manufactured]

Do you know why...?

[standalonehuman]

Despite everything that Retrospec has been saying, I know the man I'm seeing is not me. It doesn't make any sense for that to be true, philosophically or biologically, or from any perspective I can discern.

I respect that a lot of other people have a different perspective, and if they are instead getting some inspiration from what they are seeing? Learning what they think they can become? Then I can support that.

[manufactured]

A fair amount of the things that have happened over the past several months don't make biological sense; at this point I wouldn't consider that cause to rule out the possibility, personally.

[onemillion]

Yes, I do. I feel like I don't have enough information right now to really form an opinion on the matter. I mean, I have one anyway, of course, but it's subject to change.

[thebeastwithout]

man my past self was way cooler than who i am now
i mean the one down side is that i keep turning into more of a weirdo freak but like
i'm ok with being him!!!

if he could do it then so can i
he's done all the stuff that i always dreamed about

like that's kind of inspiring or whatever

[elevelvetor]

[ ...mm. this is a difficult topic for her, and she's biting her thumb before she reponds ]

i find it more comfortable to refer to her as someone other than myself, though i'm aware that isn't entirely true, either...
but for the sake of myself and relationships she had, and that i have, i think it's for the best to differentiate the two of us
and i still believe that who we are now is more important than who we were--i would like to take lessons and such from the memories i've remembered, but i don't wish to let them define me or others
does any of that make sense?

[standalonehuman]

But he and I, other-Togusa and I. We've had different lives, made different choices, have completely different memories. The difference is only going to get more pronounced over time, not less.

The problem is, that, so far, every time there's a physical difference between us? This process has chosen the other person's physicality to take over our own. I've never been injured, but I got an injury that the other-Togusa received.

[dulynoted]

An important question.

[ Which, he shouldn't be surprised given how this man originally piqued his interest. ]

Neither theory has any more basis than the other. From what I'm understanding, it's mostly personal preference based on memories and experiences. Ones that you might find less agreeable could make you want to distance yourself from them and think of the person in your memories as some "other", while if you're seeing things that you like or want then you'll be more inclined to align yourself with that person.

Also, whether or not these memories exist as remnants of a past life in our souls or if they're purely fabrications by Retrospec is up for debate.

[ Of course, that doesn't answer the question. ]

My own thoughts are undecided. I'm waiting for more evidence to sway my opinion. I haven't found merit in analyzing the situation by prescribing to one theory or the other yet, but I'm open to change.

[stressweets]

I can't be the same person in my memories, because he's a lot more confident and rich and talented and everything than I am?
But I want to be!
Ah, within reason, I guess. I'm still not really interested in what he was learning, and he had completely different friends...
Personality-wise though, I think I'd be really happy. Even if I've been told that I'm perfectly fine the way I am... It's not really how I want to be.

[ It'd be nice if he could stop being such a nervous, anxious mess around people and fucking up perfectly good moments, after all. The him in his memories doesn't seem to have that issue at all. ]

[frostythehitman]

whatever i think of the past me and whether or not i'm really him changes day by day

[mincingminuet]

Well, I've thought a lot about that. This is a good question, Mr. Wesker.

My answer is no, that person is not me.
I don't reject that person, Penelo was her name. I think she was a good person who was doing things for the right reasons. But she cannot be me.

Why? Because I think that without the experiences I've lived, the ones I've had, that she cannot. Even if I remember her entire life, gain all of her possessions, I still remember everything from this life.

Thus, I'm becoming something more than her.

[manufactured]

Some people have entirely too much ambition for that; some people are just naive and content with everything that life throws at them. Either way, the realization never comes.

[manufactured]

So is everything still just somewhat bizarre for you overall?

[onemillion]

Yes. I've only been on the network for a couple of months so I'm still getting used to everything. The memories I've received haven't been all that bad, at least.

I wanted to ask what you make of this entire situation. You've asked us for our opinions, but it sounds like you've already formed your own. Would you mind sharing your thoughts?

[sivard]

Nah, not really.

I just know people with very strong spiritual resonance are usually the ones who can see us.

[manufactured]

I understand. It's disconcerting at best, and the differences between one's current life and the lives we remember are often jarring; I'm not going to try to claim that they aren't. The life represented in my own memories was... Well, there were a lot of things about it that I'm not proud of, and more things about it that I'm disinterested in repeating. It isn't the kind of life I would want for myself, to put it rather gently, nor is it the one I choose to lead now.

I would think, however, that the physical changes would make more of a case for those memories truly being ours, not less?

[manufactured]

It's good to hear from someone who considers all of this a good thing, honestly. Oftentimes these sorts of discussions have a fair few who are having difficulty with the process; it's good to have reminders once in a while that some of us consider it beneficial.

What sort of changes are we talking about, however...?

[manufactured]

It makes sense, yes, as does the desire to compartmentalize it both for simplicity's sake and for the sake of keeping one's sanity more or less intact. You aren't the first I've spoken to that feels that way, and I don't fault you for it, even if it's not something I can subscribe to myself.

[manufactured]

I'm not going to try to sway anyone's opinion one way or another, personally. Engaging in discussion about why certain opinions are as they are is one thing, but I'm not interested in dictating how others should see the situation.

I will say that what you're describing is vastly oversimplified, however.

[manufactured]

The person in your memories seems to have overcome all of what you perceive as flaws, then? Or perhaps never seemed to be contending with them in the first place... Is that it?

[manufactured]

How do you mean...?

[manufactured]

That's an entirely fair way of looking at it. I can't say it's one that I agree with entirely, but I believe we see it similarly just on principle. Which I'm sure counts for something or another.