005. Text // my world is unaffected

[manufactured]

It's been some time since Retrospec has properly dropped some sort of identity crisis on us, though I suppose it's good to know that we're getting a bit more information out of them now than we were in the past; I'm in no way looking down on small favors and silver linings. Just the same, I wonder for the time being where that leaves us - I know I've asked a few of you about this in the past, and I'm sure that a fair amount of you have made your decisions regarding it since.

I suppose what I want to hear is your thoughts on these people you're receiving memories of, whether you consider them "you" or otherwise - do you still think of them as a separate person from yourself or do you consider them to be the same as "you", and why you've come to feel that way. I'm not going to argue for feeling one way or another on the matter, I'm just wondering how you've come to see these people that technically don't exist anymore.

Of course, if you reject this entire matter completely and just consider this to be an example of some corporate entity you hate ruining your life for no apparent reason, that's likewise fair.

I've formed my own views on this fairly recently; I tend to find it calming, having some sort of conclusion that I can accept as reasonably true for the time being. It's not always convenient, but it's calming.

Comments

[manufactured]

Forgive my saying so, but that's almost impressively New Age.

[sivard]

Yeah, maybe.
I figure there are other things people could see besides malakhim, but I couldn't tell you what.

There's also a corrupting force that humans give off naturally that's extremely toxic to us, so there's that.

[ohrlyeh]

i shudder to think that that man is real

and i do not want to become him in any capacity even though retrospec thinks otherwise

[manufactured]

...That's charming. And potentially a problem, I'd imagine.

[manufactured]

What about him do you find so reprehensible?

[sivard]

It ultimately killed at least two people I cared about.

Honestly, that alone makes me think about all the reasons why rebuilding my world is a terrible idea.

[ohrlyeh]

[........]

the things i've seen about him are...inhuman

[manufactured]

Physically speaking, in terms of actions, or both?

[twostringsonebow]

[... Difficult. Something he's barely talked about with the people close to him, though he has always felt it easier to open up to those he doesn't quite know; Wesker edges more on the latter, but it's still very much a public forum, so he decides his words carefully on the matter.]

While I would like to differentiate myself from the young man in my memories, circumstances prove it to be rather impossible, in terms of duty. My personal feelings have no bearing on it whatsoever.

[He doesn't have much of a choice; that person may not be him exactly, but feeling the things he did and knowing what he does guilts him far too much to be able to think that he's free to live his own life without consequence. For the most part he can! There's plenty he can do! But he's just as shackled to the past as the other him was.]

But, since you did ask, I think I may have discovered a new form of self-loathing.

[ohrlyeh]

let's just say both

[standalonehuman]

I'll tell you the same thing I've been trying to encourage everyone of, then: don't carry the burdens of the choices someone else made. Learn from their mistakes, or get inspired from their successes, I'd encourage that. But the guilt of two people is too much.

I'm not a dramatic enough example to explain what I mean, so let's take one of our police cadets. Her body here in Recolle had human ears, while the woman she is remembering had feline ears. When it came time to rectify the difference between the two? Retrospec chose the form that had cat ears, over-writing her body in this life.

[wordcarvings]

I don't know if I consider him me as such, but we have similarities. Too many similarities to be completely different people. I do think that some of the memories are very important, and would not want to forget them.

[thebeastwithout]

oh uh
you know
the usual
fangs and hair and sometimes my arms turn into tentacles now without meaning to so

it's whatevs
i'll probably be fine

or i'm gonna turn into a sewer monster and have to go live in a septic tank one or the other

anyway we're here to talk about the bright side!!!

[feistytrader]

And then, when it's brought back, we can all celebrate at the waffle place, right?

[Do zombies still eat. Was this inconsiderate of him-]

Even if it's not brought back in the best state, you can only go up from nothing.

[parodeity]

oh i guess
i imagine its a thing most network people are gonna hit someday though
past lives and weird bullshit tend to help out

[stressweets]

That's right!
Or if he still has those flaws, then he just deals with them a lot better...

[ ...Tsukasa has not really gotten to the legitimate issues of his other self yet, which mainly lay in "I don't ask people for help, even for really important things, because I don't want to be a bother/it isn't any of their business/I should be able to handle this much" despite

you know

being an entirely too nosy brat.

He... knows Suou isn't completely infallible, but he still seems way better than his current self in a lot of ways, so. ]

That might be because my memories have been relatively...
Tame? Some really gross imagery one of the people in my memories've said aside. "Squeezing the pus out" and stuff like that.
I even played with cats once ♪ They were super cute kittens!!

[mincingminuet]

More or less.

For fairness, can I ask what you believe? Not to argue, just for perspective.

[frostythehitman]

it means some days it feels like it's just me and the only difference is it was all 70 years ago
and some days i actually remember to refer to him as HIM and not as ME
like
does it even MATTER if you did something on some other world or in some alternate past
or does it only start meaning anything once you start doing the same thing here and now

[elevelvetor]

thank you.
i've been worried (perhaps reasonably, perhaps unreasonably) that fully accepting it and acknowledging it would change things between myself and others
or perhaps, more distressingly, make me feel certain emotions that would be
let's call them "difficult to deal with".
purely as an example: memories of being incredibly fond of someone, and such things coloring your interactions with them, regardless of your current relationship with them or theirs with others
another example: a relationship, no matter the type, being pushed upon you because "we were [like this] in our memories, why can't we be that here?"

[ ............. ]

to be frank
speaking about this in such terms makes me feel quite melodramatic and overreactionary
my apologizes for the long message

[impulsives]

...well, either ways, this is an entirely new world from the old one. or at least, that's what retrospec wants us to believe.

i'm not naive enough to trust what they say, but sometimes, there's just merit in assuming some things are true. so in that way, you being the way you are... i guess what i mean to say is that you're doing a pretty good job at it.

still, i do hope that one day those memories will just stop coming to you, so that you can at least have some peace.

[coinflipped]

The more I'm learning about this 'other me' the more I'm finding I disassociate myself with him.

[vitis]

sure do
i'd say i'd be surprised to hear if more people didn't

[dulynoted]

You're right, it is. People might be prone to believe the other they're seeing is themselves for a number of reasons, that's just the general trend I've noticed.

For example, whether or not someone calls them "visions" or "memories" tends to give an idea of their feelings.

[ He does remember this man mentioning death before, so Akira wonders what is calming about that... ]

I'd ask for specifics on your own thoughts, if you're willing to share them.

[manufactured]

Perhaps, if you feel that that decision is yours to make in the first place.

[manufactured]

...It will be fine, even if they don't stop. It's unpleasant, but not unmanageable.

I'm doing what I can for now, at any rate.