text ❁ alternatively, a youtube challenge in the making

[roseblooms]

Kit Fawkes shared a photo. 4/28 near Viea Village

I am being abducted, please find attached an image of my last known whereabouts. Actually, no, it's rather that apparently that my current living situation has become simply untenable to some people I know, and therefore I am now the recipient of an intervention seeking to Do Something About It, whether I like it or not. On the upside, I suppose a little extra room would mean more space to cultivate a proper garden, including some particularly interesting berry plants we found growing in Bosuma a few months back. Allegedly they render anyone who consumes them immune to toxins for several hours, but understandably I'm not entirely certain how to test that assertion. One can't exactly ask for volunteers to "eat this questionable berry and then allow yourself to be stung by these ten thousand bees", for example. ...Though now that I say it, I suppose that does rather sound like exactly sort of thing that someone would advertise for on Craigslist, doesn't it? ETA: Well, I've received at least one taker for the "eat the questionable berry and then drink poison" experiment, contingent on having a magical healer on immediate standby. Is there perhaps a magical doctor in the house?

[OOC: Berry plant link is solely for OOC reference!]

Comments

[crudest]

abduction is such a cold word
would a true abduction include lunch
which we'll do once you find someone that's up for your shitty experiment ig

[roseblooms]

Why are you texting me?

You're literally right next to me.

I'm looking at you as I press send on this.

[thesettingsun]

Much as I would like to volunteer to be stung by ten thousand bees, I'd introduce too many variables into the data, so I'll have to pass.

How bad is your home?

[doublesmall]

yeah he does this to me too, welcome to the club.

you guys found anything promising yet?

you know you could just move into our complex, it's not bad

[quiet_storm]

You'll need a squishy human to try that, right?
If you've got a magic healer on hand and a bottle of poison then sure.
Why not?

[roseblooms]

Every time we come across something that seems feasible, there's always a neighbor with a dog. A big dog.

How is the rent, in your complex?

[roseblooms]

As far as I'm concerned, it's perfectly reasonable living accommodations.

As far as other people are concerned, it's completely unacceptable. So I suppose there's a spectrum of opinion.

[roseblooms]

...

I'm sorry, are you actually volunteering to drink poison for the sake of my bizarre and poorly-explained cause?

I'm just checking.

[crudest]

see chuu?
we especially can't get a dog now

anyway don't worry about the rent

there might be some units
couple floors down
or up

[baren probably bought starbucks for their adventure

he brings it up to his mouth and takes a looooong sip from the straw as he makes eye contact with fawkes and hits Send]

[thesettingsun]

Important question, can you see the floor?

[quiet_storm]

It doesn't sound bizarre at all.
I do want to see proof that the magic healer is up to the task first though.

[roseblooms]

Of course I can see the floor.

...Just how bad of a disaster are you envisioning?

[roseblooms]

Stop looking directly at me while you send me things over social media.

[thesettingsun]

Have you ever watched an episode of Hoarders?

[roseblooms]

I...suppose there are a handful of people we might solicit for such a thing. One moment, I'll update my ad.

You're really serious about this?

[roseblooms]

I am not a HOARDER.

[Says the guy who in two of his past lives had caches of stolen treasure hidden all over the fucking world, you disaster.]

[quiet_storm]

Yes I'm serious.
Why wouldn't I be?

[roseblooms]

Tone is difficult to interpret through text. You can hardly blame me for being a little skeptical.

[crudest]

but i wanna

[roseblooms]

Also, are you really sure you'd want me living in the same complex as you?

[crudest]

[this is actually where he bothers to just talk out loud, pocketing his phone as they head back to the car probably]

Why wouldn't I?

[thesettingsun]

Don't capslock at me, how was I supposed to know that? All I know is that someone decided to stage an intervention.

[roseblooms]

Yes, because apparently my apartment is too small and unbefitting of my greatness. Or something like that.

[quiet_storm]

I guess you're right about that part.

The previous commenter makes a good point.
There probably aren't a lot of good test subjects around with all the people here that have magic or powers or special physical abilities.

Anti-poison berries could be really useful though.
This is something I can do but they can't.

[roseblooms]

Oh, I don't know. Because it'd double the number of redheads in your immediate proximity? Because it increases the likelihood of Chuuya and I ganging up on you at any given moment? Because once a month I like to transform into a werefox and go out to howl at the full moon?

[He shrugs, hiding a wry smile.]

There's any number of possibilities.