ayano's theory of advertising

[kagepuro]

[the following is a glitched up post that looks a lot like one of those text ads you'd see at the bottom of the screen on facebook]

Retrospec got ya down? Sad? Upset? Stressed out?

Relief is just a phone call away! Ayano Tateyama is an FDC approved Empatherapist! That's right! Using our patented RET (Red Eye Therapy) treatment, happy thoughts are just a glance away! RET creates a resonant connection between our mind and yours, projecting onto it any feeling you wish! Happiness, excitement, relaxation, bemusement, you name it, we give it!

RET treatment is short-term solution and should not be used to alleviate deep-seated trouble and trauma. Upon your first visit we will establish a schedule for you that keeps your mental and emotional well-being in mind when it comes to enjoying the affects of RET treatment.

What are you waiting for? Say goodbye to your bad day, and hello to a fresh start for tomorrow!

Call 555-612-5555 now for a FREE consultation with Ayano Tateyama herself OR text the phrase RET PLS for more information on our new and exciting treatments!

We hope to hear from you soon! 

Comments

[compendiem]

RET PLS

[kagepuro]

Thank you for your interest in the Tateyama RET treatment program!

Based out of Recollé, the RET treatment program utilizes state of the art empath technology to stabilize the mind by rooting them in a strong, typically pleasurable emotion of their choosing. Upon joining the program following your FREE consultation, you will be given a recommended schedule for future appointments in a way that safely considers the pros and cons of the program on your current emotional stress level. RET treatment is subject to DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY, which means everything that happens during RET treatment stays between you and Dr. Tateyama.

May I answer any other questions?

[compendiem]

Can you project anger?

[frostythehitman]

[ he texts the number, but not with the given phrase. ]

why
what's this ret thing supposed to do

[kagepuro]

The RET treatment program involves empatherapy, a new breed of psychological treatment pioneered by Dr. Ayano Tateyama in Recollé. By projecting thoughts and feelings onto the patient, the patient can feel mentally and emotionally at ease following difficult personal circumstances.

Would you like to set up a FREE consultation?

[frostythehitman]

wait
am i just texting ayano
are you just talking about yourself in the third person
since when are you a doctor
you're practically my age

[eyestitch]

whoa

what's happening here? is my phone infected? do i have some kind of virus now? 💀 i'm totally not due for an upgrade yet! what ever am i going to do?

[kagepuro]

It's not a virus is just a personal ad for my new RET treatment program. Would you like to schedule a free consultation?

[eyestitch]

oh phew! it really sounded like one of those 'local girl finds cure to happiness, doctors HATE her' kinda ads! which, like, i guess you might wanna tone down a little bit! heehee

what's a late night plane ticket got to do with therapy neway though?

hits aj twice idgaf

[selfloving]

[Oh Concern.]

Ayano, what does FDC stand for? Maybe you should explain it to us.

[kagepuro]

Family Dynamics Council...?

They decide if stuff is good for the community.

And the RET treatment program is!

Would you like to schedule a FREE consultation?

[grumpei]

empatherapist?
i dont think thats actually a thing
sorry

[kagepuro]

It's a thing. I know it is, because I am one.

[promisedyou]

Important question: are there any weird side effects or after effects to this?

[Not that she's actually considering it, but she can't help but be curious.]

[kagepuro]

Is "a pleasant disposition" a weird side effect? I'm mostly just here to improve moods. Nothing weird has ever happened before.

[doesntdiscriminate]

...Is this actually a real thing or are we being punked?
Also, what exactly is Red Eye Therapy? 'Cause I tried google but it's not helping.

[kagepuro]

That's because it's a recent breakthrough invented by Dr. Tateyama.

Based out of Recollé, the RET treatment program utilizes state of the art empath technology to stabilize the mind by rooting them in a strong, typically pleasurable emotion of their choosing. Upon joining the program following your FREE consultation, you will be given a recommended schedule for future appointments in a way that safely considers the pros and cons of the program on your current emotional stress level. RET treatment is subject to DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY, which means everything that happens during RET treatment stays between you and Dr. Tateyama

Would you like to schedule a FREE consultation?

[theveilisin]

I can't think of any possible way this could go wrong or be misused.

[kagepuro]

The RET Treatment Program is a 100% altruistic organization.

[thesettingsun]

Does RET come with any side effects? In particular, does it have any addictive qualities?

[kagepuro]

RET has shown 0 side effects of addiction or other harmful experiences.

However, Dr. Tateyama takes expert care into making sure that the treatment is provided safely and on a schedule that discourages over-reliance on treatment and encourages self-improvement.

text

[truedetective]

How goes business?

[kagepuro]

Booming.

[sanephiroth]

RET PLS

[and after]

Something completely other than what this 'other me' experiences would be appreciated.

[twostringsonebow]

[Well.

He has no real use for it himself, but this seems nice. Ahem.]

Making a name for yourself, Ayano?