tw: child death talk for this whole post

[spirithacker]

retrospec memory stuff

if you remembered dying
does it ever stop being scary
because its scary right now and i dont know why anyone would want to remember this

or does anyone know how to forget stuff
ill pay you
or do your homework
or something

Comments

[fabrefactions]

Not dying specifically, but something that was unnerving to recall.

You become used to the idea, although it helps to share the memory with someone so you are not shouldering it alone. If that helps at all. Unfortunately, I do not know a way to make the process quicker.

[spirithacker]

talking about it is hard
i can try tho

this sucks a whole lot

[fabrefactions]

Death is never going to be an easy topic.

Even if you talk about it a little, it's probably better than boxing it up inside and letting it overwhelm you.

[spirithacker]

what if i dont know who to talk to
my parents dont have retrospec so they arent around

[fabrefactions]

You don't have any adult or friends on the app that you can trust to speak to? Someone like a guardian, or a family friend...?

[spirithacker]

i have a cousin on the app
and i talked to her but it made stuff worse

[fabrefactions]

Then perhaps someone who is not family. Someone who cares for you, but is not so close to you that they can't offer unbiased help.

[spirithacker]

there might be a person like that
maybe

[fabrefactions]

Would you feel better talking to them, than to no one at all?

[spirithacker]

y
ill do that

thanks

[fabrefactions]

Good. It's a heavy subject, and especially so in the case you described. It isn't one worth facing alone.

[spirithacker]

what do u do if u talk to 1 person a lot about this stuff
and then they forget about retrospec

[fabrefactions]

If you don't talk to people because you are afraid they may vanish from Retrospec, then you are limiting yourself quite considerably. We could all vanish from the app at any time. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't speak with people about these sorts of things.

[spirithacker]

thats scary too
not like dying is scary
but its still scary

[fabrefactions]

A lot of things are, unfortunately. I can't really suggest anything to change that.

[spirithacker]

grownups get scared too?

i thought you knew how to handle stuff
thats why kids are supposed to ask grownups for help

[fabrefactions]

Yes. Grown ups have more experience and can deal with things better, but we still have fears of our own.

[ ... I mean. He's a whole 19 years old. What an adult. ]

[spirithacker]

[Ten years older = adult.]

thats kinda disappointing
u have all that extra responsibility
but ur still scared of stuff??
id rather stay a kid

[fabrefactions]

We do not have much say in the matter, sadly.
It is not all that bad, really.
There are other things that balance out the responsibilities.

[spirithacker]

like what
theyd better be rly good

[fabrefactions]

Depends on what you enjoy. For some, it's being able to drink, or drive, or have control of their own choices.
Perhaps it's the idea of owning a home, or finding a long lasting relationship.

Or maybe it's being able to eat what you want, when you want. And no homework, once you have left education.

[spirithacker]

candy and no homework sounds p great rn
im on board with growing up

[fabrefactions]

That's a good thing, as it will happen either way. Finding positives makes it a little less scary.

[spirithacker]

lately i feel like i dont get to choose about anything

[fabrefactions]

I'm sure you do, but it's difficult to not feel that way while we're at the mercy of the app...