retrospec | {1st Clear Card, video}

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{1st Clear Card, video}

[Sakura's back again on the app. Which, once she gets back home and realizes she still can't find certain items, well. Of course she is Concerned. Though not necessarily for reasons others might assume. Not so much for what this means for herself, especially given how defenseless this leaves her without her magic and cards, but she is. Worrying about the cards. Because of course she is.

She idly brushes a longer strand of hair framing her face behind her ear, biting her lip as she uses her phone, opening the Retrospec app. Which shows her bedroom in Fai and Iwai's place, where she sits cross-legged on her bed.]

Um, if everyone missed it before? I'm back. I mean, I have the app again. I'm sorry if I worried everyone before. But I just wanted to check. To ask, I mean. Others have probably gotten the app after having it deleted from their phones too, right? Only, when I got back, I realized some things were missing still. My cards. And my neckla-- my staff I use with them. They're gone. So is my bear.

[Anyone might question the bear, but this particular bear is unique and special, given her bond with Xiaolang. With his Other in her memories, Syaoran. Let alone if someone thinks she might be talking about normal playing cards or something.]

I usually always have the cards and necklace on me, and the bear usually stays in my room, but. When I got home, I can't find them anywhere. And I'm sure I didn't leave anything in...in that glass case I woke up in. If anyone has seen the cards, please tell me! Or at least, make sure they're alright.

[To be fair, it isn't like the cards are exactly defenseless, or necessarily vulnerable, considering the chaos they caused in her memories, but even so. She can't help worrying. And not just because she isn't sure how she is supposed to figure tricking her family with stopping them from worrying if she doesn't have Mirror to stay home in her stead while dealing with App Things?

She holds up a couple of drawings to try show what the necklace and an example of one of the Clow Cards look like.]

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No? I guess I won't be able to help everyone as much then. Not until I get them back, at least. Or, I hope I do.

[Not because she feels vulnerable and is much more defenseless without her magic and cards. But because it limits her ability to help everyone else in all of this. Because of course she is more focused on what this means for the rest, her friends and family, more than Sakura herself.]

I think you should. I don't know the process behind it, but there's probably a wait before you get them back again. If they're intent on restoring you to your 'original' self, then they shouldn't keep those from you.

[And while he has... Thoughts on the idea of Sakura fighting against anything, especially in this state, he knows better than to say them. Had he lost his own abilities, he wouldn't want someone rubbing it in or coddling him.]

Even without your cards, there's still plenty you can do. There's lots of people here without... magic, and I'm sure they can offer suggestions on what to do should we wind up in another situation like last month. But even then...

I don't mind helping you, or protecting you, whenever you need it. That hasn't changed before, and that's not changing now.

I don't want to worry everyone, until I do get my magic back though. You and everyone else have already done so much. And it might be fine? I might be alright.

... maybe.

But with the way the city's been the past few months, it's good to be on your guard. The bugs are gone, for now, but we don't know if whatever issue Retrospec's been dealing with is completely fixed.

Anyway, I can't speak for anyone else, but... it really isn't asking a lot of me, to do any of this for you. I don't want to let anything else happento you, if I can help it.

[Like vanishing, or being stuck in a glass case, or losing all of her abilities--]

If you want, we can probably practice your self defense in the meantime. Those gems from Respatrum could probably come in useful, too.

Right.

I know you don't mind. I just wouldn't want you getting hurt because you stepped in to help me or something. But you're right. I can at least still practice my self defense. And you still have those gems too.

I'd rather be the one getting hurt than you, though.

[XIAOLANG, THAT'S NOT THE POINT, YOU SELF-SACRIFICING WALNUT]

Do you still happen to have the ones that I gave you? The gems, I mean? I'm not sure if you... lost those along with the other things when you went off the app, but I can always give you mine if you did.

[Because, to his knowledge, the NPCs didn't seem to be aware of the other regions, so it's possible that anything from there may have vanished, too.]

Xiaolang-kun, no.

[Not that she doesn't feel the same. Heck, she would have rather been defeated in her Judgement against Yue if fighting him had meant hurting Yukito. Not that she remembered that yet, but still. Even so.]

I'll have a look?

[Her reply takes him aback for a second, and he considers how to respond. It was something she didn't want him to do, so he should respect that, but his protective instincts in regards to her all but scream otherwise. Did she think he wasn't strong enough, even with his magic intact?]

... I'm not going to let myself get hurt, if I can help it. But I'm not going to stand back and let something try to harm you, either. I can't. You're too important to me for that.

[Had this been in person, she'd probably see his cheeks flush quite the shade of pink, but thank goodness for text replies!! But maybe best to divert this topic to something less heavy--]

Um... the gems aside... you said you couldn't find the bear, either...?

[Again, he figured this would happen when she got back the app, but... should he tell her he's making her a new one? Surprising her would be more romantic, but if she was worried about it...]

I guess...I feel the same. I know I can't do as much to help out at the moment, but.

[That doesn't mean she wants to need to get hurt or have anyone else get hurt. But she herself couldn't just stand back and let that happen. The same way he can't. It's just not how either of them work.]

No. I usually keep my soft toys on my bed, but. It wasn't there when I got home.

[If Meiling was here, she'd probably say something about the difficulties of caring about one another too much, but!! She's not, so it was up to these two to try to puzzle it out for themselves. The heat in his cheeks doesn't exactly die down once he realizes she shares the same sentiments in regards to him, though.]

You don't have to worry about that for now. Just do what you can, and that will be more than enough. I might not have been your bodyguard in that life, but I'll protect you the best that I can, no matter what.

[....... Xiaolang don't say that on the network, it's public]

I do remember those being there, but... I guess, since you got the bear from Retrospec, it'd make sense it would go back to them like everything else. I'm sorry.

[Because, really, he'd be distraught if he had lost Sakura bear too. It might not have been one he made, but it was a symbol of the relationship the two of them shared in that other life.]

You shouldn't have to. But I know you will.

Maybe I'll get the bear back. Along with the cards. It'll just take time for them to show up in the mail.

[Or so she hopes is the case. It's strange, lonely now to be without the bear given how significant it is to the both of them. In both their lives and memories.]

... maybe. I know I got mine after I was on the app for a month, so it might not be very long of a wait.

[But still... to be without it for that long probably was heartbreaking, no doubt about it. And if there was a way he could make her happy, to fix whatever problem she had, then he'd gladly do it.

So, with that in mind, he comes to a decision. The replacement bear was nearly done anyway, so--]

Are you free later on today? If you are, there's something I need to talk to you about in person.

Hopefully not.

Later today? Sure. I'll be around. Just let me know and I'll come let you in.

[Not that she is sure on what he is intending here. What he's been working on for her all this time.]

[It's around four or five when Xiaolang makes his way over to Fai's house, a medium-sized, modestly decorated bag in one hand, and a smaller bag filled with some sweets in another. If he was coming over to her place, he may as well bring some sort of gift for the rest of the family, too, especially if her brother was home. He's casually dressed, spending more time focusing on finishing up the bear than putting any extra effort into his attire (though he still looks decent, because he IS seeing Sakura after all--), taking a few seconds to tame down his perpetually messy hair before shooting her a text.]

Sakura, I'm almost there. Are you home?

I'm here! Just give me a minute to get downstairs to meet you at the door.

[At the least, it doesn't take long. She was just in her room waiting for him before they would later be sorting dinner and all. She rushes down from her bedroom to get the door, to wait outside if he isn't quite there already just yet. She's dressed pretty casually too, given she was just at home relaxing and not intending to head out anywhere.]

[He's just making his way up the path when he sees her bound towards the door, his heartbeat going into it's usual happy flutter whenever he catches sight of her. An easy smile makes it's way upon his face as he holds up his hand in greeting, quickening his pace to meet her on the porch. Even in normal house clothes, she still looked absolutely adorable, at least in his opinion, and he can't help but take a moment to admire her quietly.]

Hey.

[But he remembers he has bags in his hands, important ones, and he hands the one full of sweets over to Sakura. The bear could wait until they got inside.]

Um-- I don't know if you guys have already eaten yet, but I brought some cookies over, if you or anyone else there wants them. I hope that's alright?

Cookies? Oh! Thanks! I'll have some for after dinner!

[You know, assuming the boys don't beat her to it and devour them beforehand. Still, she invites him in as she takes the offered sweets. Sakura exclaims to whoever might be in the kitchen that night cooking that Xiaolang is over, before gesturing for him to follow up to her room. She gestures for him to take a seat, either next to her on the bed or by shifting the one she has at her desk.]

You wanted to see me though. Did you remember something else?

[At this point, he was well aware of the appetites of some of the residents in her household, so he was conscious enough to bake a little bit more than necessary. (Though if anyone should hoard the cookies from her, he'd gladly fight them for her sake) He gives a small wave to whoever was in the kitchen, out of politeness, although he can't help but fluster a little when she invites him into her room. Maybe it was the better option, since Fai and Iwai were home, and it offered a bit more privacy, anyway. But something about it always made him nervous, no matter how many times he's been there...

It takes him a moment to decide where to sit, before finally settling on the edge of the bed next to her. Normally, he'd choose the desk seat, but this felt like something he had to be a little closer to her for. Her question has him gripping the bag closer to his chest, some color springing to his face, and he shakes his head. It says something that memories would be her first assumption, but he wasn't going to dwell on that now.]

N... No, it doesn't have to do with any of that. Not... entirely, anyway.

[His hold on the bag eases up, and he passes it over to her, his cheeks and the tips of his ears still dusted a light pink. Within is a green teddy bear, clearly handmade, very much similar to a certain bear that had gone missing. Of course, it wasn't entirely the same-- there was no way he could replicate what his other self had made, even if he tried. But maybe that was a good thing. The bear she had before represented the love Syaoran had for her, in their past lives; this bear was a symbol of the love that he had for her here and now, as Xiaolang.]

With what we were talking about earlier, on the network-- I started working on it when you first went off the app, but with everything that happened last month, I didn't get to finish it until now.

It's not really the same as your old one, but...

Started working on -- oh?!

[The bear. He'd made a new one? She hadn't even considered that possibility, amid her upset at finding her previous one gone from her bed. But somehow, this still worked. Might be even better. Not just that he is older and thus better with his sewing skills and craft. But that this wasn't just a reminder of their feelings for each other in their memories of Japan. But here. This wasn't from Syaoran. It was made by him, by Xiaolang.

Now she sees it, realizes, part of her wonders if she should make him one too. Sakura takes the bear from him when he passes it to her, sitting it on her lap to admire it for a moment before hugging it.]

It's perfect. Thank you!

[Something warm and fond blooms in his chest as he sees her enthusiastic reaction, a gentle smile breaking across his face at how happy she became. It was enough to make all the hard work worth it-- he was good at crafting, it was true, but teddy bears were a tricky beast to tackle, and he had wanted to make it the absolute best for her. (Of course, it wasn't entirely perfect, but that's what added to it's charm!!)

His hands settle on his lap, now empty thanks to giving her all that he needed to, and his expression grows a little wistful.]

... it was nothing. I'm just glad that you like it.

[The color in his face deepens a little, shy even after all this time about getting his softer feelings into the open.]

I figured... if something like that was to happen again, with either of us losing the app... you'd at least still have it with you. Because even if we forget about our past selves, and how they felt... it wouldn't change my feelings for you, one bit.

This isn't nothing. You took time to make this. Just for me.

[So of course this is special. Important. It was even an improvement from the previous one she had had, given he has more practice now, is older and more skilled. She's not sure if she wants to imagine dealing with all this without his support. If things were the other way around and he didn't have access to the app anymore....

Well. She probably wouldn't deal with it nearly so well.]

It's a good idea. Maybe I should....so you would still have one too. I know those memories -- we cared about each other too, but. That's not it. Not why I...why I like you.

... I'd do anything for you.

[His voice is quiet, and a little shy, but the look he gives her is nothing but earnest and meaningful. She didn't know the extents he went to for her sake-- but that was how he preferred it. A bear really was nothing in comparison to fighting off bugs, trying to keep her digital form safe, but if she treasured it, then all the better. Of course, he was fairly modest, too-- being praised over things like this always left him a little flustered.

Her next words catch him off-guard, however, and he can feel his heart nearly seizing in his chest. It was so easy to forget, at times, that love was a two way street. He had spent so long crushing on her, pining after her, that to have her reflect those feelings right back at him... it left him so wonderfully nervous and confused, and unsure what to do. He was happy enough for her to accept how he felt, but for her to treasure him as much as he did her, even without the connections of their past lives...

He ducks his face, feeling it heat up something fierce, his ears burning a bright red.]

You-- You don't have to. I mean... I--I wouldn't mind it if you did, but... it's only if you want to. I don't want you to feel like you need to do it just because I did.

[Xiaolang HOW ARE YOU STILL BEING A TSUNDERE AT THIS POINT IN THE RELATIONSHIP?? He'd honestly love anything Sakura made for him, but he didn't want her to feel pressured to return the favor!!

His eyes glance over towards her, his face still flushed.]

I guess... our feelings are the same, though. We would have... liked one another, regardless of what wound up happening.

Edited 2018-10-21 00:21 (UTC)

N-no, it's. If you lost the app and didn't have the bear, this way you'd still have the one I made here. So, that way we'd both still have one. Besides, making one now, I think I can do a little better.....

[This time around. Since she's older and a little better at sewing and crafts now. Given her penchant for making gifts more often than buying something for someone on their birthday or Christmas. She's not even registering quite how overwhelmed he might be from this.]

I guess. But that's a good thing, right?

I think the one I have is perfect...!!

[The words shoot out of his mouth faster than his brain can process it, and it's not until a moment or so later that he realizes how it may have come off. He was so intent on defending her work that it made it seem like he preferred that other Sakura instead of her, which certainly wasn't true. He really was overwhelmed, not entirely in a bad way, and it was messing with his mental filters something fierce. Shaking his head, as if to negate the last thing he said, he starts over, hoping he could say it right this time.]

I mean--! I--I'd be happy with anything you'd give me. It doesn't matter if it's better than the other one or not. Anything you'd take your time to make for me is something I'd cherish.

[But he can only swallow and nod in response to her last question, working up the nerve to look her in the eyes as he fights down the color in his face. He had to get better at expressing his feelings towards her. Losing her those few weeks made him realize just how precious their time together was, and he didn't want to have any regrets should something like that happen to them again.]

... yeah. I think it's a really, really good thing.

I... I'm glad to have met you, you know. Moving from Hong Kong to Recolle... it was worth it, if only because of you.

You don't -- oh. Alright then! I'll make you one too!

[She smiles, clapping her hands together while the bear sits in her lap. Sakura hadn't really been reading into it all that much, as much as he might have suspected, but it's fine. As long as she has a chance to make him smile again by giving him a new bear she made.]

Because of me?

[Well. Obviously he feels for her, given their dating but. She still can't help but to feel a blush at her cheeks and nose at that. Moving across the world being worth it, away from some of his family, being worth it just because of her.]

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