at some random point during the festival

[hjack69]

trapped in an empty room probably abt to get murdered send help
may or may not have taken a baby chicken thing w me
if not for me do it for the chicken thing this bitey little asshole is adorable

[ attached is a selfie with a (much much smaller) chocobo that looks kind of like this. ]

what the hell is with the chicken things anyway did i miss something

Comments

[parodeity]

apparently theyre our new horses
or smth
my bro is looking into it
im pretty sure hes gonna start a crusade
but like
google horses you get zero results its kind of fucking weird

chicken things are chocobos btw
apparently
thats apparently a Thing now

1/2

[hjack69]

whats a horse

[hjack69]

nah im shittin you i remember what a horse is
huh
thats not totally goddamn weird and more than a little alarming or anything
this is apparently a chickabo then and its a gigantic jackass and it wont leave me alone
a guy just walks into the retrospec building and gets locked in wtf

[parodeity]

so youre like for reals trapped
have you tried kicking the door
or i guess one of us can like go see if its locked from the outside

are there like people in there ?
also man the animal handlers this year are not on the ball
i keep seeing freeroaming giant chickens its a little concerning

[hjack69]

ive been throwing myself at this goddamn door for like 20 minutes now and its not budging
i mean i tried like
EVERY wrestling move i could remember and no dice
unrelated but now my shoulder hurts
theres nobody even IN here its just a shitty fake plant and a waiting area and some doors that wont open
what the hell kind of multilevel building doesnt have stairs??
fire code is gonna be all UP this places ass

wait theyre not terrorizing the city and eating people right
bc if they are ill wait this one out

[parodeity]

ok well
ill meander that way
i think itll take me like 10 minutes though
but like if it wont open from the outside
i can try delinquency and attempt to pick the lock
if it is like
pickable
im not sure what kind of lock were talking about here

and so far they havent gone zombie chicken on us
but it could be only a matter of time before they develop a taste for flesh
ill keep you posted dude

[hjack69]

thank god kids are still learning how to break into things i was afraid that particular set of skills died with my generation
if that doesnt work then go hotwire a car and run it into the door itll prob be fine

[parodeity]

ok hotwiring cars i have not learned to do
tho i bet that skill is in my fam somewhere
but ok ive started on my way itll take me like
five or ten minutes?
im in the district but not right there you know

er
i think
are you in the retrospec building if its a diff building i may be in the wrong district

[hjack69]

idk if theres more than one retrospec building but i picked the one downtown
let me look

[ Cue Jack unthinkingly trying the door again--

--and it opening, just like that. ]

You're fucking kidding me.

[ When Dave shows up, the fat little chocobo chick is going to rush him. Because that's what it does. ]

[parodeity]

[ all right. well. THERE GOES HIS DRAMATIC RESCUE although honestly dave prefers it that way, but also: chocobo chick shit???? dave kind of. crouches down to...pet...? it? how does one bird he doesn't know. where have the horses gone. ]

So you got to rescue yourself? Why'd it lock, I wonder? Or...how'd it unlock. Hm.