at some random point during the festival

[hjack69]

trapped in an empty room probably abt to get murdered send help
may or may not have taken a baby chicken thing w me
if not for me do it for the chicken thing this bitey little asshole is adorable

[ attached is a selfie with a (much much smaller) chocobo that looks kind of like this. ]

what the hell is with the chicken things anyway did i miss something

Comments

[jinglejangle]

could be a murder? like crows
or a squad
i'm not sure it matters because the word is probably just as fake as the word chocobo is

also that might just be one of the dumbest things i've heard of in a long while
how exactly is a fat baby bird you birdnapped going to get you dates?
i hope you weren't planning on telling people about your cock

[hjack69]

jesus frickin christ im not THAT bad
i was just telling everybody how its mother died in a tragic car accident and i saved it and now im raising it as my own bc it smells like people and the other birds wont accept it
(which is bs by the way birds dont actually work like that)
ill just give it back later nobodyll even notice

[jinglejangle]

how was i supposed to know?
most people when presented with poultry-based-dating-puns go for the lowest bar
and don't craft tragic backstories over why they have a bird and it's totally not weird they're carrying it around
though i think you probably could've come up with something better
something less cliched than a car accident
like a train wreck

good luck on not getting caught when you do

[hjack69]

im not gonna lie i was tempted by fat cock jokes but my willpower is strong
but something dramatic is what theyre EXPECTING you gotta play it smooth kiddo
like oh
i just happened to dive into the road and saved it while this chicken thing cheeped in despair next to its mothers corpse it was sooooooooo sad

and seriously how hard can it be to dump this fat little bastard back in with its crew

[jinglejangle]

well now i just feel betrayed
i thought you were the one, the best out of all of us
but i will admit you've put more thought into it than i would've
not that i would've gone so far to begin with to hit on someone

you'd be surprised
if that thing's biting you now i don't think it'll put up LESS of a fight when it can sense it's close to family

[hjack69]

whatever i can take some chickens
in fact ill fight all of them at once i dont even care
youre right though maybe i should just toss it like a feathery little football n hope for the best

[jinglejangle]

i'd be inclined to believe you if they were normal sized chickens
but they ain't
and they can smell guilt
i hope things turn out okay for you