04 | swipe left for what you need, swipe right for what you want

[elevelvetor]

hello once again, fellow users!
this time i bring neither a game, play, nor incredibly true public service announcement about a friend.
nay, this time i am here to...

MAKE A MATCH

not for myself, however, but for a woman who's been very kind to me.
i'd like to give back to her somehow, and i decided finding her company for the holidays would be fitting...
regardless, let me begin. i hope you will at least consider this advertisement for a rather noble lady.

she is very beautiful, kind, strong in every way imaginable, and completely unafraid of werellamas. she's also on the older side of things, offering an intelligent and mature viewpoint on any discussion you may have.
that doesn't mean she's boring, however. far from it! i can personally attest to having more fun with her than i have had with most people her age...
her favorite time of day is actually the night, when the stars come out and constellations glitter endlessly above, and everything is aglow thanks to the moon's dim light.
she's also quite magnanimous, acquiescing to even the simplest requests... as long as they're harmless, of course.

as far as preferences go, she likes handsome men and pretty women, with charming and intelligent minds... and an air of mystery and danger about them, without diving into actual criminal activity. unfortunately for our younger people, she'd like all serious relationships to be with those thirty and over.

please reply with an inquiries, offers, or recommendations if you have them.
thank you for taking the time to read as well. please accept this video as a token of my gratitude.

001. Text // Kick it right out of frame - does it matter?

[drydrown]

You know, this may be a slightly inane question, but since apparently I'm being made to deal with the local social media conspiracy firsthand, this is hardly the stupidest thing I'm going to decide to do. At least, as far as the rest of you lot tend to tell it.

So! While we're all here and blundering our way through this holiday season – does anyone have any idea what the ratio is here for "people remembering reasonably normal lives" set against "people whose past lives were apparently some sort of weird genre-fiction mess"? If you want to describe your particular brand of genre-fiction mess, do feel free, but it's not required.

Asking for a friend, obviously. ♡

musings about turkey ass stuffings

[parodeity]

hey yo its dave again
i mean if you dont know me
if you do my glorious red text gave me away
i just have like
a few things
first off who here has super speed and also a sword
the number has to be greater than like five i assume
there are so many ppl with swords
sword analogues also work
looking for a training partner

second off im pretty sure cell service is getting worse and that sucks

but most importantly
well most importantly is the training thing im serious about that
but also i have made a holiday appropriate comic for everyone to enjoy

( no one will enjoy this )

anyway
what is even up with thanksgiving food
like delicious turkey ass stuffings aside
does anyone actually like cranberry sauce
or is it like a conspiracy for someone to be able to bring a thing
which then no one eats or like
please feel free to discuss
like haha we all like cousin bob
but fuck if he isnt the worst cook in the world
better tell him he can bring the cranberry sauce
be a contributing member of thanksgiving society
supposedly
only really its all a RUSE
not a sock ruse though
yeah no ones gonna get that
this was mostly to find a partner
and suggest that we all make use of the cell service thing while its around
etc
later

(no subject)

[hadeir]

(note: pretend that the image is the dress on a mannequin)

Celandine Parthia shared a photo. November 21 near Tisse

FOR SALE: Wedding dress, veil included. Possibly West Asian in origin. Tailored to fit a petite woman with a heavy bust. QUALITY: Fair. Managed to get the stains out from the skirt's hem. Honestly, this dress is too long anyway. REASON FOR SELLING: I neither want nor need it.