retrospec | Text - Kind of Freaking out Here

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Text - Kind of Freaking out Here

Chloe Bouchard
3/21 near Viea
This is awful, and I do not know how to cope with this at all. Anyone with relationship advice please speak with me, because I am having a very serious problem right now due to these visions we keep having.

[Somebody got another memory regain recently, and it might have involved kissing someone who was totally not Chloe's girlfriend in France. And, while accidents might have happened over the course of several years here in America, she'd been good about being faithful, so the memory was seriously disturbing, especially because she had felt more in love in that memory than she ever had in her 'real life,' and it was giving her a major problem.

And she couldn't go to the father confessor, because seriously, how do you talk to a catholic priest about that sort of thing? Short answer? You don't.]

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Never once. I've only seen her in these visions, but it feels as if in them I've known her my whole life.

And, I can't really do that. Have you spoken with anyone who does not have the app about horses? They refuse to believe you, think you are crazy for going on about it. All of the things we've seen that they haven't, they don't seem able to believe. She isn't on this app.

It's a sensation people seem to be getting more and more often. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in this regard.

And I have. My students thought my stories of horses were fantastical and wanted more. My coworkers thought I wasn't feeling well since I worked so much that week. [ it gives her pause to remember all of that. in the moment, she had accepted it all as is.

looking back, she realises how lucky she was that the students weren't scared, her fellow teachers weren't suspicious. it makes her wonder what would have happened if something different had occurred. brrrr. ] I guess the other best option is to try and avoid this person in your visions if they're here in the city or here at all. Try to prevent anything from happening.

I suppose the fortunate thing is that this person does not seem to exist in the city. I have never once seen her in all my time here, meaning that these visions are just sort of distant to me, emotionally. It's why it is so disconcerting to feel the emotions that I felt at the time and then go back to being, well, me.

So, as you say, it may be best to simply try and forget it. It won't be easy, but at the very least I am not going out and looking for her.

It's something I noticed in my visions as well. People I'm with in those visions - I feel for them. It's hard to tell sometimes what they are with how fleeting the visions can be but it feels so vivid in those moments. And then I'm back at my desk, staring at a test I'm grading and trying not to puke all over my lap.

Confusing but usually easy to ignore after it's all over. I hope the same can be said for your attempts now. It's a good thing you haven't come across her here in the city. No doubt it would have been harder (and more awkward) if so.

It is never entirely clear. The memories are muddled because there is no context. I do not know 'why' I feel a thing, only that I feel it. So it is just confusing, in ways not even watching a play is confusing.

I am having more trouble, though, starting to ignore them. The more I have, the more they seem to plague at me a little. But, as you say, if she were to be here, I simply do not know how I would react.

I guess the best any of us can do for now is to wait and see what happens next. For all of us.

Admittedly, I don't like the idea of playing the waiting game. Not lately with what's been going down but it seems like the only thing we can do for ourselves. Besides trying to gather data and support each other. Do you think things will become normal again?

It is my sincere hope that they do, but there is very little I can say for sure at this time. It's been going on for more than a month after all, so it isn't something that is terribly short lived.

I guess we're really all in for a wild ride, huh? I guess it could be worse. Somehow.

There are some ideas I have in mind but I'm actually afraid of someone reading it and going, 'What a great idea!' before implementing it.

Be wary of that phrase. I believe it has a way of coming true around here. But, at the least, they do not seem to be plumbing our statements for ideas.

That is refreshing.

Which I'm glad for. I mean there's the possibility they won't listen to our actual suggestions or ideas of how to improve this app but.

The others and I were actually theorising in the past what could be worse after everything. Cars coming to alive is what we concluded since it would be rather awkward to drive in them. It's impossible, I know, but so is the idea that horses were completely replaced(?) by the Chocobos at some point in history.

I would say that cars coming alive would definitely fall into a 'worst case scenario' considering the sorts of things that we've seen so far. At least, that is within our own imaginations. I suppose there are almost certainly worse possibilities out there.

True. Maybe we'll be in luck and the next Big Surprise will happen after a long, long, long while. Just so we can adjust to the current things that happened.

I mean we're adaptable but breathing room would be nice too.

That would be fortunate, but I don't think that they like to give us much in the way of breathing room. So, we may be dealing with something again soon. We will see.

Ohhhh. I forgot it'll be April.

April's Fools Day. I'm shuddering at the thought of what they may think will be 'fun' for us now. The 'shocking until you wear green' wasn't very funny. [ or safe! definitely not safe. ]

I would expect that it will be some sort of inane prank of one variety or another. As if all that we have dealt with has not already been a prank of some form.

Long as the jokes are actually funny and we don't get harassed by people again, I think I can roll with whatever they try to throw at us.

We can always help each other out, no?

This is also my thought. On both counts really. There is no reason to sound the alarm over something this minor, is there?

No. I don't think there is with all of this being pointed out.

In fact there are times I find myself rather glad this kind of happens from time to time. I don't think I would be able to meet half of everyone here if left to my own devices. Talk about a turn of fate.

It is something to appreciate about what is going on here, even if I still don't think that makes up for what we're already dealing with. But, no. No alarms for the moment. It's not really that bad right now.

Hopefully it will stay reasonable.

Here's to our hopes of it being reasonable!

There's this saying that goes as, 'If wishes were horses then beggars would ride.' It's supposed to mean just because we wish it doesn't mean it's possible.

But now its, 'If wishes were Chocobos then beggars would ride' so anything is possible. [ maybe even a few weeks of peace. who knows? ]

I suppose that the saying would be that now, wouldn't it? And what if we wished for wishes to be horses and chocobo to be just chocobo?

I suppose that might be wishing for a bit too much, isn't it?

I think it'll be too much for now but who knows in the future? The possibilities are endless, the chances are there, and I'm still finding it weird to see serious paintings have the feathery creatures be part of them.

Maybe it can happen. A lot of stranger things are going on right now for us after all.

Seeing George Washington on the back of a Chocobo was perhaps one of the most surreal experiences of that week. I still could not believe it when I saw it. It was like that one thing made it much more real to me that this was actually happening.

And I cannot quite bring myself to be that optimistic, but who knows?

There's something amusing to see the serious recreations of battles in movies and paintings having those bird creatures in it! It makes watching that seen with the poor boy and the Swamp of Despair a little less distressing. A little less.

Who knows indeed! We'll have each other's backs- Like I have your back for your situation. So don't be a stranger and let me know if there's anything I can do for you, alright? We can do it!

And you likewise. Give me a call if something comes up, and I will do what I can to help.

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caelestialis - 2017-04-23 15:01 (UTC) - Expand

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Chloe Bouchard 3/21 near Viea
This is awful, and I do not know how to cope with this at all. Anyone with relationship advice please speak with me, because I am having a very serious problem right now due to these visions we keep having.