PHOTO | He found the snitch??

[redarm]

Noah Robin Catbell shared a photo. 4/01 near The Towers

can anyone tell me what the duck this is??
it showed up in a package from retrospec.
i wasnt gonna open it but then it ducking CHEWED its way out of the package.
what the heck kind of animal is this??

[Uh yeah he hasn't noticed the parental filter yet, or the pun name.]

Comments

[redarm]

uh thanks?

no teeth just
i think its face?
but it feels like some kind of metal.

[appraiser]

what kind of metal
does it heat up if you stick it in fire?
wait no-- before that
you're *sure* its alive? with organs and a brain, not like the oranges

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford no, it's thalia.
Cindy Clawford my name i mean.
Cindy Clawford why do you keep talking about ducks, did the app parent lock you or are you one of the people who does it to yourself?

[redarm]

Noah Robin Catbell oh.
Noah Robin Catbell i got parent locked i guess
Noah Robin Catbell cause this thing is a piece of crap.

[redarm]

hold on.

[Soon a video gets uploaded. It's shitty cam shot being held up over a couch. In it, the creature seems to be fluttering around as it inspects its new surroundings. From the way it shines in the light, it looks metallic. Also? No real indication it has a butthole.]

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford fuck.
Cindy Clawford well it seems to be working for me.
Cindy Clawford this thing is so inconsistent, christ.

[redarm]

im not sticking it in a fire.
what the duck ryoji.
i dont know what it is.
its responding to me, but i dont see any spot for organs.

[appraiser]

it might be like the oranges
how would you define life, Noah?
is it alive? does it need to eat for survival? what are you going to name it?

[parodeity]

[ ok so dave has to puruse this important train of thought? ]

where does the stuff it eats go
idgi
does it have a hammerspace belly

[redarm]

Noah Robin Campbell seriously?
Noah Robin Campbell thats unfair
Noah Robin Campbell i hate this app.

[redarm]

i dunno.
im not too eager to open its mouth and look down it.

[parodeity]

throw candy at it and see if it eats that

[redarm]

i dunno what life is or if it needs to eat but
its not like the oranges.
those things just smile and dance no matter what you do to them.
i think its actually happy to see me??
dunno why

[Which alone is weird...]

[appraiser]

where is its face
it's hard to tell happiness by the picture, without eyes and a mouth

also you have to name it

[redarm]

good idea.
gimme a sec.

[A couple minutes and there's another video set up. Noah's set the phone up somewhere so it can film the creature. From off screen you hear Noah go "hey you catch!" before he tosses a candy at him.

And the creature? Well it's attention is got and it immediately flies at the candy, opening it's toothy mouth to catch the candy and start nomming down on it, with a big toothy grin. You can also hear Noah exclaim "Whoa!" because hey, sick trick!]

[redarm]

well it got a mouth.
just hard to see when its closed.
havent found the eyes yet.

and i do?
i dunno what to name anything.

[clear_eyes]

It looks like it violates every known law of biology and aerodynamics at the same time. The color is weird too. Do you know what its skin feels or looks like? I can't quite tell from the picture.

[appraiser]

hmm well, not all animals have eyes
like the olm

and yes, you have to name it! it helps create a bond, see?
name it after a personality trait, or a favorite food, or anything that feels right

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford maybe it thought you swear too much normally or something?
Cindy Clawford anyway @ the weird flying thing: is this the first time anyone has been sent something alive.

[redarm]

uh-
like metal?
definitely metallic.

[redarm]

whats the olm?

uh ok
guess ill try to think of something then??

[appraiser]

its a little salamander! its very cute and pink and has underdeveloped eyes

when you think of one, try calling it by the name and teach it to come!
assuming it has ears
or a way of hearing

[redarm]

Noah Robin Catbell i dunno
Noah Robin Catbell i dont pay that close attention to that stuff.
Noah Robin Catbell not even sure this thing IS alive
Noah Robin Catbell its like made of metal.

[clear_eyes]

See, that's what I first thought. It sounded too crazy, so I convinced myself I was looking at the picture wrong.

So it's an animal, whose torso is a head, that can fly despite looking like it'd be impossible to do so, and its skin is made of metal.

[aegist]

Cindy Clawford huh.
Cindy Clawford so they sent you a robot, basically?
Cindy Clawford do you remember it at all?